Stress Center Peer Support

Is there anything that can be done to help a really non existent self esteem? As I got dressed for a wedding today I thought to myself, Why are you doing this, no one would look at you anyway, I looked all smart but still I thought this, and when at the wedding I thought everyone looks so more attractive than me. I also have a habit of thinking everyone hates me and that I am not worth liking, I know this is stupid as people don't know me but this is how I feel and so I won't make eye contact with anyway, I won't talk to anyone unless spoken to and even then its a mumble, and people clearly see this weakness and talk down to or treat me as a child and often just take advantage especially at work, I just feel so low over it and don't have a clue how to cure it, I think it all stems from being a child when I had bad eczema and other kids called me all sorts of names.

Hello, my first post and reach out in a long time on-line or IRL. I know what you are experiencing. I was able to make progress in discovering and healing some of the broken thinking habbits I had with the help of "Inner Bonding". google it and check it out. They have some great articles on the site. I will warn you though, I only started to be open to progress by considering the spiritual aspect of my place in this world. Discoverying "higher power" is an important part of the inner bonding journey. It is very hard for me and I fall off the path often. I have very low self esteam, which is freaky cause I do not poject that, but once people see it, well, it effects things in ways that do not allow me to be my best. Inner Bounding helped me discover things like boundries between myself and others and how to look at the falseness of broken thinking. This program sounds like it has good tiools in it as well, which is what brought me here today. Either way I do know it is not in our own best interest for one to think they are not worth likeing. There is one thought best to unlearn by replacing it with the truth. We are all worth knowing. We are all part of this experience of life. This school of learning about ourselves. Hope this helps

I can definately relate. I was picked on everyday as a kid. It really messed with my head. After years and years of this, it really rips your self-esteem away from you. It's very hard to get it back. I still feel like some people are better than me, and a lot of times feel like people hate me. It's just the way my mind has been conditioned to think.

Yes there is and it is to genuinely like yourself first. Remember how much the program beats positive self talk into our brains? Well, that is what you have to use. Sit down tomorrow and make a list of all your positives--I'll bet there are plenty of them. Then when you start thinking negatively about yourself, you have something real to fall back on to say something positive about yourself. This will take time and practice, but as you begin to value yourself more, your confidence will show to others and they will start to treat you better.

You can also change your behavior. Smile at people, give them a firm handshake and look them in the eye. When they talk to you, talk back. You are just as good as anyone else and your opinion is just as valid as anyone elses.

Remember, you're not a kid anymore and if people call you names, so what? If they do, they are the jerks, not you.

Also, people like compliments. If you notice someone has on a nice tie or you like their car, give them a compliment. You don't have to be all gushy about it, just say "nice tie", "that color looks good on you", just something little to get you talking to people in a positive, friendly way.

As Brandon says, "It's just the way my mind has been conditioned to think." Well, we were the ones who conditioned it think a way we don't like, so we can certainly condition it to think positively about ourselves. Nobody else can do this for us--this is an inside job. You have to start believing that you are as good as anyone else, because that is the truth.

pearpickinporky,

My self-esteem was so low, it couldn't fit under a pregnant ant.

I would recommend reading books on improving your self-esteem. That's what I did, and it helped out ALOT. Here is a list from Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb...0_0_1.155_117&fsc=-1

I hope that helps.

Thanks all for your replies