Stress Center Peer Support

This is my second time posting so if i did not do something right give me a break. I have had problems with anxiety ,depression, and obsessive thoughts for a long time and i am on week twelve of the program and doing tons better, but recently a friend of mine said that i was really ugly and that no girl would ever love me and it has made me totally depressed and made me have extremely low self esteem. I am only thirteen years old almost fourteen in middle school and i have had anxiety and low self esteem for most of my life and i feel really bad and hideous right now. I have blue eyes and blond hair an oval shaped face and i am five foot six, and i am a 13 year old boy, and i think my features are pretty symmetrical.Do i sound ugly to you guys or no, because i sure feel it. I hope i don't sound vain cause i am not i am just really hurt by what someone who was supposed to be a friend said to me. PS sorry for bad punctuation

Hi Austin-

I have a son the same age as you.

You are perfectly fine-- your "friend" is the one with the problem. Don't give him/her the time of day. If you don't react, it's not fun to tease you.

You will be a handsome, wonderful guy I'm sure.
Give yourself a break thru the teenage years. Everyone gets gangly and out of sorts then. It's normal.

Hey buddy, don't worry about what someone says about you they don't have the right to judge anyone. You are perfect the way you are and remember it's not the looks that count, it's what's in the mind and heart. There is someone out there for everyone so don't even worry about not having someone to love you.

Austin -

Don't let other people tell you how to feel. How could your "friend" possibly know what girls are going to find attractive?

In the long run, it turns out that things that seem really important to you now won't be so important when you get our of school. Once you graduate from high school (which probably seems a long ways away), looks and popularity don't mean anything.

The most important thing you can do is work on your self image and self confidence. A positive person with charisma and confidence is more attractive than anything else.

hey, Austin
Dont let nobody make you feel bad. You are still very young. What you need to do is build your confindence and learn to be your self. You got a long way, get all does negative things of your mind and just act like you dont care what they say to you. Trust me I been there.

dont worry pal you are every girls dream. your buddy is just jealous of you thats what it sounds like

thanks everybody you made me feel much better

no one is ugly in god's eyes. and you are not weird an any way. YOU ARE PROBLE A VERY SMART PERSON BOY, DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOUR SELF, I USE TO FEEL THAT WAY WHEN I WAS A YOUNG GIRL, I FELT UGLY AND WOULDN'T JOIN GROUPS LIKE SPEACH/OR DEBT, THINGS I REALLY WANTED TO TRY BECAUSE I TO THOUGH OTHER KIDS WOULD MAKE FUN OF ME. BUT IF I HAD IT TO DO ALL OVER AGAIN, I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT ANYWAY, WHO KNOW I MIGHT HAVE BEEN BETTER THEN I THOUGHT. SO DON'T WORRY WHAT OTHER CLASSMATES OR PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE FOR A REASON, A GREAT REASON. BE HAPPY THE WAY GOD MADE YOU. AND YOU WILL DO GREAT. I AM 45 YEARS OLD AND HAVE THREE KIDS, I HAVE TOLD THEM TO GET OUT THEIR AND BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND OTHER. DON'T MESS OUT ON LIFE. AND THOSE ARE JUST BAD THOUGHT'S AT IS ALL. YOU ARE A WOUNDERFUL BOY, AND WILL BE A GREAT MAN WHEN YOU GROW UP. SO SMILE!!!!

Austin,

You are just having a 'growth spirt" as Lucinda would say. Stick with the program and review the CD's that will help you believe in yourself. That person who said hurtful things is just showing his insecurities. Remember that you are growing and changing as you go through the program so friends will sometimes not know how to react to you. To build your self confidence, I suggest that you get a book that the program recommends, What To Say When You Talk To Your Self by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. A book store or Amazon.com carries it. It gives easy and great ideas to stay positive and over come your doubts about yourself. You sound like an intelligent and caring person. This difficult time will pass.