Stress Center Peer Support

First, is it OK that I did session 1 in 4 days instead of the scheduled 7 days or should I do it exactly as suggested? I'm just really hopeful about this program helping me, so I do it everyday!!
And,I listened to the "I Will Be There For You" CD and it freaked me out!! My son and I are in the middle of a bad moment in our relationship and his disgust with me breaks my heart! The problem is, he's not supportive and he doesn't get what I'm going through. He thinks I should get over it and get on with it!!
I recently wrote him a long letter trying to explain what I was going through, it only made him madder! I'm afraid if I let him hear the CD, instead of understanding me, it will only confirm his right to be mad at me. Does that make since? Any suggestions??
And last but not least..my fear is dying from cancer, I've lost 5 family members, including my mom, who I lost in 2003. After she died, I stopped going to the docter because I just knew that during one of my check ups he would find cancer. Every little thing that didn't feel right with my body, in my head, was cancer. Then early last year I started going to a therapist she got me to the point where I was able to go in for a check up. I was fine and my fear seemed to be under control...until the summer. First, I lost another uncle to CANCER and then I found a knott in my jaw! Now the fear is so over whelming it is a constant thought in the back of my mind 24/7, especially since my last visit to the dentist for a regular cleaning. They took my yearly xrays and found that I have some bone loss, they wanted me to come back and see a preodontist. Of course I'm sure it's bone cancer and that is what the knott is, which I didn't mention it to them! I'm afraid that if I go back, they are going to tell me I have cancer and then I will be dead with a year. That's the way it's happened for everyone I've lost!
Will this program really get me through this fear?

Can anyone offer any advice or at least words of encoragement?

SiddaLee -

I'll give you my advice but remember that they are only opinions. So you can take them or leave them as you see fit.

First, I don't think that you need to follow the program's suggested schedule exactly to the letter to get the full benefit. However, be aware that much of this information takes time to digest so you may lose something if you go too fast. On the other hand, try not to get stuck on one lesson. You don't have to learn everything perfectly before moving on and you can always come back to things later. Experiment a little and see what pace works best for you.

I'm so sorry to hear about the problems you're having with your son, especially since you really need him now. Unfortunately, this may just be a case of bad timing. If he's not ready to discuss things, you might want to give him some space. Just let him know that you're always available when he's ready to talk. Remember that for the Support CD to be useful, he has to be willing to listen.

As for your fear of cancer, it sounds like you have a good reason to have that fear. But not going to the doctor and just worrying is not a good solution. There are many things in life we can control and much more that we cannot. You can live a healthy lifestyle but that does not guarantee that you won't develop any illnesses, it just reduces the likelihood.

In any event, if you are prone to developing cancer or any other condition, it really is a good idea to keep reasonably close tabs on your body and follow up with your doctor when you have concerns. I'm not suggesting that you become overly sensitive, which it sounds like you are already experiencing, but make smart choices. In the event something does develop, it's in your best interest to catch it early so you can vastly improve your chances of successful treatment. Pretending that things aren't there when they are won't help you in the least.

With all that being said, in most cases we tend to think the worst when usually nothing is wrong or at least is much less of a problem than we imagine it to be. So try to be honest with yourself. If you start to worry about something, ask yourself if it is truly something to be concerned about or the product of an over-active imagination. If you have valid concerns then by all means have yourself checked out by your doctor. Just try to be realistic.

Jamie

siddalee,

I know the feelings you are going thru. I lost a grandpa and a uncle to that nasty disease cancer. Both on the same side of the family and both smoked like I DID. I worried so much about it that I ended being suicidal. You see, my g'pa died at 77 with lung cancer. my uncle at 56 with lung cancer. Are you noticing a trend here? Being the only blood male relative left and smoking when 35 rolled around I was sure I was going to die. I was so sure that I had it in my mind that I didnt want to suffer like they did I was going to kill myself so I wouldnt have to suffer. Well, as if you cant tell, I didnt follow thru with it and I am now 42. I still to this day worry that every little pain is cancer and every little bump is cancer but the good news is I also know that it isnt true. I, like you, didnt want to see a doctor, dentist, or underwater basket weaver if I thought for a second they would tell me I had cancer.

I finally had someone kick me in the head (not really) and I saw a doctor, had a complete work up done, and am free of any cancer. I have since quit smoking and found this program! I still worry about that friggin disease but I know that its less likely to be a reality.

So i guess to make a long story even longer, go see a doctor get a check-up. Then when they tell you there is no cancer, you can just forget it.