Stress Center Peer Support

Hi all,
I could really use your help on something...
I am a lifetime sufferer of depression bouts and about a 11 years of anxiety. I have been self-medicating with alcohol pretty much since the anxiety hit. Not the disfunctional, drink every day alcoholic, but definatly when I'm feeling things I don't want to feel! I have tried a lot of different self help things and low doses of meds(but drank on them) and nothing has ever cured it.. So basically I've tip-toed around getting totally better, but never gotten away from alcohol long enough to stick to it or get anything lasting accomplished... So today, I find myself 10 weeks pregnant without my usual crutch and I have hit a new deeper level of depression! I can barely get out of bed in the morning and go to work! I have an appointment tomorrow with the doctor because I think if I need some meds, it's never been this bad and I have two kids, 7 & 4, that are already counting on me and I've just been useless! My hesitation is that I'm afraid that it's going to numb me! I have recently (the last two months) been going to this church I really like and also have been attending their recovery program and am really trying to get to the bottom of all this, and I'm scared that the meds are going to make me numb to the pain and unable to deal with the things I'm trying to deal with! Not that I'm having much success without it, but I don't want to be so synthetically happy that I don't see the point in dealing with sad thing... Catch my drift?? I really need some advice from people with experience with this... Thank you for reading.
Anna W

Hi Anna
I use to drink alcohol many years ago to deal with my anxiety. I have chosen to stay away from it. I am taking a small dose of Lexapro. 5mgs. a day.for depression. I am also on meds for anxiety. What I think happens is the doctors sometimes prescribe too large a dose. I guess I am saying maybe a smaller dose would help and not numb you out. I think some of us need to start slow and over time add more if needed. I was also afraid of a synthetic happy, I have never experienced that happening. My daughter is on quite a bit of meds Lexapro,gabapentin,wellbutren, this has stabalized her depression and anxiety. When I would talk to her about different subjects she would panic and get very defensive. Now we can have calm conversations she is 32.
I hope this is helpful.
Terri