Stress Center Peer Support

Let me start how was month of may for me. First my parents decide to move out to europe leaving me all myself with no family in us they took my dog and left my anxiety then was high my thinking was o my god i am all myself in us with no family and in case of emergency who will help me i was always with my mom OF COURSE i was ok when we live seperate but she was the same country not 6000 miles away across atlantics . my first nights were terrible. After 1 week i get used to it then i went to work and was called to office i was inform that after 5 years my service was no longer needed reason i was late 2 min (the really reason they need to cut people). I give everything to this work i give up to give everything to this work the truth i was having anxiety attacks for the past 2 years my work was so stressful but nobody saw it, I went home and nobody was there for me i cry all day i really have a major break down, then i call my mom and she inform me that her cancer is back,after this words i really lost it i could not breath my hearth was racing and i start crying again my mom try to calm me down but i say i am all by myself,after the phone call i could not sleep,every single day i was having this anxiety. WE WAITED FOR 5 DAYS FOR NEW RESULTS AND THEY COME CLEAN THE FIRST DOCTOR WAS MISTAKEN. I AM GLAD That SHE IS CLEAN but after all this news i just shut down i lock myself home i do not wanted to get out every time i am going out i got this thinking what if but i hate staying home because its so quiet and my hearth is racing like crazy. But there is days i am perfectly normal and go out but the next day i am just down, Like today i was crying all day and getting this crazy ideas. Also i send about 100 resume and i did not heard nothing from nobody and my thinking is what will happens when i run out of money how i survive then(My palce and my car are all paid up i did it all myself) and its every single day i am waking up in middle of the night and wham the thinking happen again. My mom offer me to go to europe to live with them my my hearth say yes but my mind say no i need to be myself and i can't live on my parents. but then the anxiety is saying do it. and this is happend for the past month 1 day i am ok the next day wham i need any advise also i was posted as tuptus12.5 before. Is this normal is this experience will make me stronger.do i should fight or just give up and go to europe. i almost forgot i supposed to go my friends condo tomorow and i like the very much but they live on 60 floor on skyscraper and my thinking is what if i jump over the balcony and i love highs.

Hi Sebo-

Boy you have had a heck of a month. When you read your post, it is clear that YOU are doing nothing to cause these things to happen. You aren't ill, etc. Your body is reacting to the threats with squirts of adrenaline and you are overdosing on the stuff right now.

Personally, I think you should not give up fighting the good fight. You don't like how you are feeling and if you quit, that is exactly how you will continue to feel.

Can you reduce your adrenaline? Eat well, not having caffeine, get sleep, do yoga or meditate, exercise where you sweat daily, skip newspapers and TV/radio news??

You won't jump over the balcony because you realize how silly this is. Can you meet your friends in a neutral place like a park or something, so you get nature on ground level?

I'll pray for you. Having stuff come at you 90 miles per hour is hard for anyone. You are normal in my book.

Good luck with getting a new job and sticking it out on your own. It seems you have the will to beat this monster. Please check back in.

Sebo, you need to get some help. You have access to a computer and seem to be able to use it. I myself and trying to find help and have joined a group called NAMI. I hope I am allowed to post this. There NJ number is 1-800-950-6264. There membership is over 220 thousand strong. I hope they can help you and me. I am new to this myself and just learning computer skills. A little hard at 50. So just fight like I am to live each day in the moment. Good luck, I know we both need some of it.