Stress Center Peer Support

Who Am I????
I am a 32 year old female, who has suffered from Panicand depession since I was 21 have been on so many meds that work for awhile then stop working! I have let fearfull thought control my whole world Thats who I am right now. WhatI want to be is a great mother and wife to the 2 people I love the most My 6 year old daughter and My husband of 10 years I want to live my life without the fear of dying and stop wondering What IF I die what will happen to them. I want the chest pains that are not heart related to go away( this year alone I have had 13 EKGs done because of Er visits from chest pains. Which I am told everytime Its panic attacks) why cant I beleive them. I want to beleive them but there is something stoppping my Brain from exsorbing the good stuff and making it beleive that its something horriable,I want to be able to fall asleep at night and Not fear im going to die in the middle of the night from a heart attack and my daughter finding me that way. I want to be able to just be alone and not fear im going tohave a heart attack or clot in brain when noone is around to help me.I want to get in my truck and just Drive and drive without being scared Who am I? thats the question I ask myself everyday because I don't know who a I anymore because I HAVE LET this condition take over me and My life

Anyone else feel the same way

Hi Sunnyb00,

YOU are the same person you were before anxiety and depression entered your life. It is a condition that you will overcome - it does not define who you are, even though it may feel like it sometimes.

I understand how you feel and what you are going through as I have battled hard for the last 3 years. I have two kids and a husband and I want to be there for them too and I'm not right now. But I have BELIEF that I will overcome this and so will you. For me, I know that God has not left me in the middle of this battle and I will come out on the other side.
I encourage you to lean on Him, ask for His help to overcome. I promise you, He will hear. It may not be an instant change, believe me, I've prayed for that more times than I can count, but I am not giving up. Our lives are meant to be lived to the full and not just endured. I'm not there yet, but I'm heading in that direction.

Please believe me when I say I completely understand the fears you have expressed. I have had them too and many more. Worrying about my health and dying has been one of the main things I am working to overcome. I have been to my local ER more times, honestly, than I can remember this past year. They literally know me by name. I know every ER doctor and several of the nurses.
And I probably have you beat on the 13 EKG's this year. Not that it is a record I want to have.

WE will come out of this. Don't ever think you are alone in this battle.

Know you are a beautiful, intelligent woman who is sensitive and caring. You are loved just as you are. Anxiety and/or depression is not bigger than you. You are strong and you will come out of this. My prayers are with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKn1CgGB8SE

Silverlining, that was a really pretty song on faith that your link sent me to. Thanks for sharing that and your story.
Sunnyb00. I'm new to the anxiety symptoms that caused me to have some panic attacks. It seemed my anxiety went straight to depression. It was only after taking anti-depressants for over I think, 10 years, and then weaning off of them that my panic attacks appeared. I too, called some on call Drs when I was concerned and they told me I wasn't going to die and to call the Dr's office in the morning, kept me from going to the ER. We don't have health insurance this year w/ our Small Business, so I didn't want to rack up an ER bill.

I also haven't experienced the anxiety as chest pains either. So I can understand how frightening it must feel. I with you in hoping that this program can help me. I know that CBT training does work, because that is how I weaned off of Wellbutrin and Xanax in the first place. And I only was on Xanax for the rubbery leg feeling after I had gone off of Cymbalta but still stayed on the Wellbutrin.

The visiting Family Dr to my Psychiatrist office put me on the Xanax without really explaining what was causing the rubbery leg feeling. So I'm on Remeron for now only because my Dr knows I don't want to use the Xanax. So I'm here to work out my anxiety so that I don't need Xanax and I hope to change or get off of Remeron.

Anyway, I hope to see here with the rest of us as we work through our problems. Hugs...sent your way.