Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone,

I did the program a few years back. On Oct. 6, late at night, I got the dreaded call from my mom that my father had a massive stroke. I live two and a half hours away. I am the only one out of my siblings that doesn't live near.

I still can't believe how I did it, but I drove at one in the morning, crying to be with my family while my husband stayed back with my kids. Long story short, my father is out of the ICU and although they are talking about therapy, I can't get the picture of him suffering out of my mind. He is paralyzed on his right side, can't talk and just started to open his eyes and look at you, but briefly. I stayed with my mom for a week (with my kids out of school). This is the first time for my family to have to deal with something like this. We have been very lucky until now.

Anxiety wants to creep in, I can't eat very much, but I have to be strong for my mom, my kids and my dad right? After I take them to school soon, I am going to go for a walk. I will be visiting my mom on weekends when I can. I feel like crying off and on....one minute I have hope and the next I don't. Please help-positive, inspirational advice would be great please.

Karla

1st I'm so sorry!! This is a VERY hard situation. I agree it is best to "stay strong" - also for yourself though!!
I would first focus on the fact that he made it out of the ICU - that is a wonderful thing. He can't talk, but hey he just started opening his eyes - so he is making progress!!!
Although the picture of him suffering I'm sure is hard to "remove" try to change the focus. again he is ok, they are talking about therapy, is there anything you can do to help with that? maybe your mom could use help making a plan of action there.
I'm sorry I have not yet been in that sort of situation, so I don't have much advise..

Try to stay strong and focus on the positive!! My thoughts & prayers go out to you & your family

Hey Karmerri,

Sorry to hear about the situation as well.A lot you can do here to get involved with your father's care even though you feel helpless right now.(He is paralyzed on his right side, can't talk)They will be or have started physical therapy learn as much as you can and you never know how well the bounce back will be,meaning the recovery of his function,most likely have PT/OT at the hospital.In a case like this it always looks worst when it first happens,then fallow recovery and ability.It's great for them to have you there to help fallow the recovery and learning process.Your a great asset to your family right now,not saying it's easy and don't feel you can do it all yourself.Hope for the day when your dad can return home and see how well his function returns or what needs to be done to assist both your parents in this situation.The Hospital has social workers,occupational and physical therapy to help you work through all of this.Take it one day at a time may help,best for these type of situations !

Best to you and your family !!!!

Thank you both for your uplifting replies. What a great idea in learning about the therapy...I haven't read up on this though, fearing I would come across negative scary stuff. But, yes, as I become more used to the idea of all this and my own part in my dad's recovery, learning about what they are doing for him is a good idea. Thanks to both of you.

Hear ya there,don't have to really read up on it,just try to be there and get instruction while Pt/OT are there and fallow their lead !

Best to you in these stormy times !

((((((((((( "Oh God thy sea is so great and my boat is so small."?)))))))))))))


p.s.This small prayer is known as the Breton Fisherman's Prayer, who are fishermen from Brittany, an administrative region in northwest France.
The prayer is short and succinct in its entirety and not to be confused with other prayers that sound similar.

The Breton Fisherman's Prayer was engraved on a brass plaque and presented to President John F. Kennedy by US Navy Admiral Hyman Rickover. The admiral would subsequently present the same type of plaque to all new commanders of Polaris submarines.