Posted: Sat May 15, 2010 8:08 am
Please forgive me if i write something down that upsets anyone first of all because i leave this forum thinking if i wrote too much or the same questions i've asked before in another forum. I don't really have much family to talk to about my problems because they either yell or don't understand. I do have a friend on this site i talk to who is nice and i like to hear people's oppinions on things who might have went through this.
I'm on Lesson 5 of the program. Which is eating and exercising. I'm off all caffine and sugar foods and i have been exercizing everyday. But there is something wrong going on.
At night i haven't been able to sleep for some reason. I use to went to bed around 12am then weeks later i went to bed around 4am. Now i can't sleep at all. I fall asleep for 2 hours then keep waking up and when i try to sleep in the day people keep waking me up or noises outside.
My anger and stress is so high right now i can't calm down. But i'm more mad about not being able to sleep more than anything. I tried to force myself to go to bed at 11:00pm last night. I just layed there thinking thinking i tried to put on rain sounds music i did Lucinda's relax cd 3 times i kept telling myself stop when i thought of something but the thoughts just kept going and going. I only got to sleep around 4 and 5 then woke up at 6 and had trouble sleeping up to 12pm slept for 1 hour phone rang and here i am now awake , dizzy , tired, restless and worried.
This is the 2nd night its done this i'm afraid it will keep doing it. I refuse to take pills because i have been able to sleep before i just don't know the cause of it. The only thing new is that i have been talking to a person at night who when i talk to my anxiety sort of races up being afraid of saying the wrong things or upsetting the preson because they have anxiety just like me and take things the wrong way or serious but i dont want to lose them as a freind from it so everything is really confusing. I keep reading back doing steps with negative thoughts in the program and im trying to make my mind rest but its been going crazy lately. I'm basically mad at everyone or think up some kind of negative thing about someone that might not even be true and just not talk to them about it and keep the hate feeling. I dont even know why i do that sometimes. Sometimes i dont want to be around or deal with people and want to be alone and blame my problems on people.
I'm on Lesson 5 of the program. Which is eating and exercising. I'm off all caffine and sugar foods and i have been exercizing everyday. But there is something wrong going on.
At night i haven't been able to sleep for some reason. I use to went to bed around 12am then weeks later i went to bed around 4am. Now i can't sleep at all. I fall asleep for 2 hours then keep waking up and when i try to sleep in the day people keep waking me up or noises outside.
My anger and stress is so high right now i can't calm down. But i'm more mad about not being able to sleep more than anything. I tried to force myself to go to bed at 11:00pm last night. I just layed there thinking thinking i tried to put on rain sounds music i did Lucinda's relax cd 3 times i kept telling myself stop when i thought of something but the thoughts just kept going and going. I only got to sleep around 4 and 5 then woke up at 6 and had trouble sleeping up to 12pm slept for 1 hour phone rang and here i am now awake , dizzy , tired, restless and worried.
This is the 2nd night its done this i'm afraid it will keep doing it. I refuse to take pills because i have been able to sleep before i just don't know the cause of it. The only thing new is that i have been talking to a person at night who when i talk to my anxiety sort of races up being afraid of saying the wrong things or upsetting the preson because they have anxiety just like me and take things the wrong way or serious but i dont want to lose them as a freind from it so everything is really confusing. I keep reading back doing steps with negative thoughts in the program and im trying to make my mind rest but its been going crazy lately. I'm basically mad at everyone or think up some kind of negative thing about someone that might not even be true and just not talk to them about it and keep the hate feeling. I dont even know why i do that sometimes. Sometimes i dont want to be around or deal with people and want to be alone and blame my problems on people.