Stress Center Peer Support

Hey there,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over three years and I am finding my jealousy is out of control. I was never jealous with other people much in the past. I notice I was jealous with this boyfriend pretty soon into our relationship and it has just gotten worse and worse and I feel like I can't control it! It's everything from feeling like he is sick of me and wants to hang out with other people more to I think he likes new girls that end up hanging out with all our friends. I've mentioned it to him before and he denies it and says he loves me. I know I get on his nerves when I'm wondering who he's texting and talking to on the phone, and it's usually his brother or something. He says I just have to trust him. I have a reaaaallly hard time with trust. He broke up with me about a year ago and it was for a few months. He said he regretted it a couple days later and was sorry and he was just stressed out. It hurt, and it's hard to trust him now...I keep thinking he's going to leave me again. I sound like a real pain in the butt to him. I know jealousy is a horrible trait and I don't want to have it. I have prayed for it to go away. Can anyone relate or does anybody have any suggestions??

Hi Aliengal24, Why has he not asked to marry you?
Is he getting the goodies without commitment to you?
Without trust and truth the mind gets all excited with what if's or could be's.
Does he drink or drug?
Do you have a life of yours or have you been his boy toy?
I know this is lots of questions allthough the need answered and then a plan made.
You do not want to live your life this way and we want peace and harmony for you.
Later,

Sowhatif,

thanks for responding! We don't live together yet, although we are planning on moving in together at the end of the summer when his lease runs out and he and his roomate part ways. I have been trying to get my anxiety under control and started my own small business giving piano lessons. We've talked about marriage and children though and we both agree we want that together. He doesn't do drugs and he only drinks socially. He is the one who bought me this program so he is very supportive and understanding about my anxiety. He's really a great guy. I just get nervous I'll lose him, or he'll end up wanting to be with someone else instead of me. I obviously have some self-esteem issues.

I'm old-fashioned in some ways and join the bandwagon in others. The stigma of living together has been lifted, which I applaud. The only way to know someone is to live together. Even then it can take a long time. You might want to express your feelings and see how he reacts and behaves.

Children, in my view, need a tested, viable, solid relationship and enduring commitment. Nothing to rush into.

Tina,

Thanks for responding also! Yah, we haven't wanted to rush into anything. Like I said we are planning on moving in together in the summer and we'll see how it goes from there. We figure if we're happy living together then we can get married and have children. We both haven't really seen a reason to rush everything, we're happy. I have talked to him about how I feel and he keeps assuring me everything is fine and I have no reason to be jealous. I don't know, i know it's me. I was just wondering if anyone else struggled with jealousy and how they dealt with it.

Tina,

Thanks for responding also! Yah, we haven't wanted to rush into anything. Like I said we are planning on moving in together in the summer and we'll see how it goes from there. We figure if we're happy living together then we can get married and have children. We both haven't really seen a reason to rush everything, we're happy. I have talked to him about how I feel and he keeps assuring me everything is fine and I have no reason to be jealous. I don't know, i know it's me. I was just wondering if anyone else struggled with jealousy and how they dealt with it.

I am so confused with this tech change, but here goes anyway. I have not struggled with jealousy and yet was always aware that men have opportunities, as did my husband. But we have opportunities too, don't we? The fellas are not worried, why should we be?

Dear A, try to be assured in yourself: your work, your interests, your abilities, your joy in life. Try not to make him your sole identity. And when you sign that lease in the summer, try and get a lawyer to look it over.