Stress Center Peer Support

As a parent myself I understand why my parents brought me up to believe a fairy tale however I don't think I will be taking the same path with my children.

I don't know about yours but my parents always brought me up to see the good in people, to see the good in the world, good things happen to good people and the bad get punished, you work hard in life you will reap the rewards, its a certainty, there is no other option. I don't know about you but it certainly hasn't worked out like that for me, and I suppose I needn't just blame my parents for this, this type of fanciful thinking is all around us, from the bible where we've all heard the story of David and Goliath, good conquers evil, to Hollywood where there is always a happy ending, the reality is for the most of us there is no happy ending, this is all there is and there is a fairly good chance it will always be this way no matter what you try.

We are led to believe you work hard at school you'll get a good job and earn what your worth, you will marry the man/woman of your dreams, have 2.4 kids, have your annual vacation, drive a nice car and the list is endless really, BULL$HIT all of it.

The reality is you can work hard and get no where, the chances of marrying the person of your dreams is slim to none, 90% of the time things in life will not work out, good things don't happen to good people, bad people don't get punished infact you'll often find they are in the 10% who are successful in life, good does not conquer evil but the most important thing my parents failed to tell me is life is not fair.

You are absolutely right ! Life isn't fair and sometimes we can do everything right and life will give us a swift kick in the a** anyway.

That doesnt mean that we have to be a jerk. I used to respond to that a** kicking with an a** kicking ! All that did was fuel the fire. It took a long time to realize that it's much easier to extinguish a fire when it's small than it is to try to put out a blaze. I do my best to be kind to everyone and if I can't, I walk away.

The way I see it is that the world has enough jerks. I don't need to add myself to the mix.

Well, my parents did indeed live the dream that pearpickandporky's parents brought her up to believe in. THey were damned lucky.

I was adopted into a "silver spoon" situation. I could have had it all. Instead I went totally stupid in college, joined a cult, married a cult member, had cult kids. He was abusive. I left him and the cult. Have custody of the kids and am trying to get them out of that mentality. THot all along I was making right choices and boy, was I SO wrong. Nasty divorce, of course.

My anxieties are based on expectng the "other shoe to fall." I m a nice person, I am good to other people, I am a wonderful mother. Yet, life has not been fulfilling. Many disappointments. Having a very difficult time with session three. Things really DO suck, and I dont know how to see it any other way or to turn it into a positive.

Originally posted by cheval d'or:
Well, my parents did indeed live the dream that pearpickandporky's parents brought her up to believe in. THey were damned lucky.

I was adopted into a "silver spoon" situation. I could have had it all. Instead I went totally stupid in college, joined a cult, married a cult member, had cult kids. He was abusive. I left him and the cult. Have custody of the kids and am trying to get them out of that mentality. THot all along I was making right choices and boy, was I SO wrong. Nasty divorce, of course.

My anxieties are based on expectng the "other shoe to fall." I m a nice person, I am good to other people, I am a wonderful mother. Yet, life has not been fulfilling. Many disappointments. Having a very difficult time with session three. Things really DO suck, and I dont know how to see it any other way or to turn it into a positive.

Fake it to you make it is the only advice I can give on session 3, It is hard, you won't buy any of it, but it will get easier trust me,