Posted: Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:15 am
Yesterday, I took a verbal beating, which I probably deserved but can't snap out of it. I feel alone, lost and hopeless. Only things fellow sufferers would understand.
Ever wonder or wish you had a physical ailment instead of a mental one? Seems like you wouldn't have to suffer in silence and with pain that those around you can't relate to. Seems like there'd be so much more understanding and support. I know, be careful what you wish for... just saying it seems there's more help out there for physical ailments and so much more compassion instead of, for instance, being told to go sleep for a while, you'll feel better and everything will be fine when you wake up. Would you say that to someone with cancer? God be with those who do suffer with "real" illnesses or with both. Right now I've been made to feel worthless because of the roller coaster I travel from time to time with depression and anxiety. If only we had more awareness and understanding out there. Sounds like I'm bitter, but really just looking for a pick me up or word of encouragement or a chance to vitual scream and have an understanding soul out there somewhere.
I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anyone and pray my children don't inherit this or develop this. As you can tell, my mind's in a million places- part of the bipoar I guess.
As long as I'm sounding off....the hospital stopped billing me and I got turned over to collections. The rep called me to set up payments, which I had been making when I was getting a bill. He kept pushing me to commit to a higher amount. I told him I was on disability and could only afford what I could afford. He asked about the disability to which I replied- it's mental. He then laughed and said on the way to work, he got cut off by a car that suddenly crossed three lanes at once to make an exit and thought "what a mental case!" I was speechless. Was he serious to compare an irresponsible driver to those of us who have a legit mental incapacity? I'd trade it in a heartbeat to be able to go back to work. But to be made light of in such a way both burned my tail and made me just...well, speechless. How can people be do cruel, ignorant and naive?
Thanks for letting me sound off. I don't come here much anymore. I've been on a good even keel until this last week. But I know I can always count on this group to understand. Thank God for Lucinda and her staff and for all of you. May He bless you all and keep you in the palm of His hand. Beverly
Ever wonder or wish you had a physical ailment instead of a mental one? Seems like you wouldn't have to suffer in silence and with pain that those around you can't relate to. Seems like there'd be so much more understanding and support. I know, be careful what you wish for... just saying it seems there's more help out there for physical ailments and so much more compassion instead of, for instance, being told to go sleep for a while, you'll feel better and everything will be fine when you wake up. Would you say that to someone with cancer? God be with those who do suffer with "real" illnesses or with both. Right now I've been made to feel worthless because of the roller coaster I travel from time to time with depression and anxiety. If only we had more awareness and understanding out there. Sounds like I'm bitter, but really just looking for a pick me up or word of encouragement or a chance to vitual scream and have an understanding soul out there somewhere.
I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anyone and pray my children don't inherit this or develop this. As you can tell, my mind's in a million places- part of the bipoar I guess.
As long as I'm sounding off....the hospital stopped billing me and I got turned over to collections. The rep called me to set up payments, which I had been making when I was getting a bill. He kept pushing me to commit to a higher amount. I told him I was on disability and could only afford what I could afford. He asked about the disability to which I replied- it's mental. He then laughed and said on the way to work, he got cut off by a car that suddenly crossed three lanes at once to make an exit and thought "what a mental case!" I was speechless. Was he serious to compare an irresponsible driver to those of us who have a legit mental incapacity? I'd trade it in a heartbeat to be able to go back to work. But to be made light of in such a way both burned my tail and made me just...well, speechless. How can people be do cruel, ignorant and naive?
Thanks for letting me sound off. I don't come here much anymore. I've been on a good even keel until this last week. But I know I can always count on this group to understand. Thank God for Lucinda and her staff and for all of you. May He bless you all and keep you in the palm of His hand. Beverly