Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone! It's very known from previous posts that I have been trying so hard to overcome feelings of anxiety and depression b/c of events of my father's stroke in the fall. I think I have been coping well with it all..good days and bad but here I go again...I'll say sorry BEFORE I go on.

I have been keeping in touch with a distant cousin around my age who had a brain tumor removed and she is going thru alot and doing therapy. Then, a good friend of my that lives down the street (our son's play together) has to go to a breast surgeon for a biopsy. I have been comforting her since I've been in that situation before. Then, last wednesday, the day before my daughter's 7th birthday I was in a car accident. Thankfully, no one was hurt. Well, the guy didn't want police or ambulance but I found out later he obtained an attorney..

I have to admit, I was at fault, I just didn't see him coming and my mind has been, like everywhere but where it should be! I know, it all could be worse...I wasn't able to go see my dad this past wknd because of my car situation.

Then, it happended. Saturday night my mom was crying to me and complaining about stuff and when I hung up with her, I had the worst panic attack! Now, I want to be honest. It's been a few years since I've finished the program and I am REALLY good at letting it float, deep breathing etc. etc. It was all because my right ear was soooo clogged and my hearing was so muffled and weird. I do have a little bit of a cold but it just bothers me that something so little (my ear) caused such panic.

I got that all too familiar flash of adrenaline and heat, then I was cold and shivering. I felt sick to my stomach and my knees were wobbly. I talked to myself and had the WORST night Sat. night, didn't sleep much and my ear was terrible.

I had every intention of going to the doctor's Mon. morning, but I took care of myself all Sunday. I laid on the couch, drank tea and lots of water, lit a fire and relaxed with a heating pad on my ear. My husband made dinner and dealt with the kids. My ear actually is fine. I am going to monitor it, of course, but I really feel great today. Sorry this was such a LONG explanation and story, but it is truly amazing how fragile we really are in times of stress. Thanks for listening....I am going to continue to tell myself I am healthy and okay.

Have a good day everyone.

Hi Karmerri--I understand where you are coming from. I hope you are feeling better. I just started to feel some anxiety feelings as I was writing a friend who I visited last spring and just found out that she is moving farther away. I was feeling anxious as I wrote her an email. I then asked myself why am I feeling these feelings and I had to think about it.

I was worried about what I was going to write and was visualizing her moving even farther away. All happy news for her in many ways and where she is moving is a fun place to be. She just won't be at the place I've known her to be for over 35 years! I only saw her every 8 years or so. So I know that in the future I will be seeing her again, just in a busier city and farther away.

Before those feelings of anxiety surfaced I had an exchange w/ my husband. He wanted me to find these syringes I use to treat pond fish. This was the last thing on my mind...I haven't even used the syringes for a long time and I sort of hid them so my Grandchildren wouldn't mistakenly find them and hurt themselves.

I then decided to go to look for them to please my husband. Knowing that I really would have to search and I'm not in any frame of mind to be searching for anything right now.

So I sat in my room and started thinking of where they could be. I looked and then decided this is not worth my time and stress to search for these when an easier remedy for the reason he wanted the syringe could be found.

I went and told him that I'm not able to locate them at this time and gave my suggestion for an alternative. He made a fuss as I figured he would, why go get a syringe from someone else when he knew I had a box of them. He pointed out that "we" had a box of them.

He isn't a "fish" doctor...

Anyway, I then had another conversation to locate a syringe, knowing that I have agreed to go get the syringe, even though right now I'm not dressed for the day and I'll have to put fuel in my vehicle. It's cold and dreary outside. Anyway, Karmerri, I know that we just have so much to overcome with this anxiety and I could take a Xanax if wanted to or up my dosage of Remeron, but I don't want to.

I want to be off of meds if at all possible. So I'll go take a shower and get ready for the phone call...but realize that I just might not have to go out and the problem will be taken care of by other means. :p

Well, just as I finished this posting and was going to take my shower. My husband shows up with with a single syringe from the pharmacy, just as I suggested. See...much to do about nothing. I'm so glad I have Lucinda's CDs and all you guys here! Paislee

If not, I would still be looking for my syringes and getting worked up and stressed out because I wasn't finding them right away and then beat myself up with "negative self-talk"!

I too will be glad to say goodbye 2010!
In April and May of this year, I had terrible bleeding that would not stop, I almost passed out and my hematocrit got down to 8! Hormones are the culprit as I still am on birth control today for it. I was on bedrest and had no pay for being off of work for almost 2 complete months. I had NO IDEA that that could happen to a woman..no one ever told me so I was in intense fear and panic. But that seemed to go away(it really didn't), then I ran out of money and we were barely scraping by with my boyfriends unemployement money.
In August he got into CDL and trucking training which was awesome but then our youngest dog, a Queensland Heeler named Raven, started to not eat. I took her to the vet while my boyfriend was in Phoenix at school all week a few times..nothing dire was found. Yet she still seemed to get worse and still wouldn't eat. When my boyfriend came back he took her in and bad news abounded. She may have pancreatic cancer! So we made and appointment to have exploritory surgery and if they thought it was too far gone they just wouldn't wake her up. SO we were set to let her go. The day of surgery the doc did another test and found out that she had hemolytic anemia so he could not do the surgery. BUT that gave him hope for one last chance IF she didn't have any cancer, and the anemia wasn't too far gone, she may pull through with a specific treatment. So we tried that...she seemed to get better for a few days but then came crashing down in a day. We made the loving decision and put her down..she just had no blood, couldn't breath and had a bloated belly. Very sad and bad time. She was such a bound full of energy that to see her in that shape was heartwrenching. So we said goodbye and held her until the end.
After all that my boyfriend got a job but is now gone all the time...THEN THE ATTACKS STARTED DAILY! I have always struggled with depression and anxiety but never really realized for how long.

So here I am!! I am glad but Goodbye to 2010!!

Wow, Molly, you have been having a hard time. I'm so sorry about your dog. I had to put my dog down as well a couple years ago. He was injured and became septic, although the Vets did their best.

Sorry about your bleeding issues, not fun at all. And then running into financial difficulty. Here's hoping the New Year will bring you a healthier body and a cheerful heart. Paislee