Stress Center Peer Support

I have to see him almost every day this week, he tells me to fix the computer, and he even talked me into working with him...even though I really don't want to!

But it seems that is that's what he wants...that's what he gets! He treats me like I'm his Cinderella, even though I moved out of my house!

Today, I have to work with him because It's the house that my boss lives at. It seems he's trying to 1-up me. My Old Man has always taken advantage of me and I hate every bit of it!...

I might as well move back home because that's what he also wants!

I'm sorry MrCleveland that your having such a hard time with him. Does he know how you feel about the situation? I mean did you directly tell him how you feel?


Mike

I don't know, I had him talk to me yesterday with things HE'S interested in, like ranting about my home church and the bands he's interested in.

He says that families have to help out each other, but I feel that I've helped TOO much, I think he just takes advantage of me when he can get the chance. He wants me to be like Jesus...but there were times that Jesus too needed time away!

My Old Man I think is Co-Dependent rather than Inter-dependent!

Are you speaking of your father or husband?

Have you ever just said, NO?

Originally posted by SoWhatif:
Are you speaking of your father or husband?

Have you ever just said, NO?

Father...and if I say 'NO', he keeps insisting me until I cave under the pressure.

I try to resisting, but he keeps insisting me.

If I EVER go on a trip...I'm leaving my cell phone behind!

A couple things come to mind. No need for the answers here, allthough you may want to think about it.
Are you being somehow supported by dad?
Does dad feel lonely or just being a parent and keep you busy?
If the above answers are no then give him a bill to pay for your services to him.

If the answers are yes then, we are burndoned by or needs "in debt to". Meanwhile be firm in acknowleging that, while telling or reminding the same to him.

Why do you cave under the pressure? Do you feel guilty? If all he is asking you to do when you spend time with him is to do things for him, I would simply say, "Dad I'm interested in spending time with you because I love you and your my dad, but every time I see you, all you do is ask me to do things for you. I understand that families help each other out but I feel like you ask too much of me and I'm feeling resentful. I need you to take some time and consider my feelings. I also need you to understand that if this continues every time I see you, I'm going to stop seeing you for a a while."

I think it is totally reasonable to make a statement like this. But you have to deal with whatever feelings are making you cave in or you will just keep doing it.

Originally posted by SoWhatif:
A couple things come to mind. No need for the answers here, allthough you may want to think about it.
Are you being somehow supported by dad?
Does dad feel lonely or just being a parent and keep you busy?
If the above answers are no then give him a bill to pay for your services to him.

If the answers are yes then, we are burndoned by or needs "in debt to". Meanwhile be firm in acknowleging that, while telling or reminding the same to him.

He called me on Sunday because no one was home, so I think he's lonely.

Guess what...I'm STILL being bugged and it seems that even though I try NOT to answer the phone...I have to because my parents assume that I'm mad at them!

I've had it with 2010 and all the stuff that happened this year might as well be pushed into oblivion!

Quote,
Guess what...I'm STILL being bugged and it seems that even though I try NOT to answer the phone...I have to because my parents assume that I'm mad at them!


MrCleveland, Me reading and going by what you just told us, To me it says that you have not had the disscussion with him.

You are feeling guilty only you know the facts, Is my thinking on the correct path?

Might mention to him that you are trying to row your own boat, meaning "your life" and he keeps dragging you to shore.
Or maybe he see's you struggleing in rough waters and is trying to teach.
Until your boundry is explained to him he will more than likely not realize what he is doing.

The anger is what your feeling as I read the words. Maybe give him a hug first.

I have been known to have insert foot in mouth syndrome.

We can only change ourselves. Sometimes doing that, causes a change in others.

2011 is nearby.