Stress Center Peer Support

Has anyone experienced that feeling that you are 'unliked' by people? I have been at my job for over a year now and just recently I have felt as though I have done something to become 'unliked' by my 3 coworkers.. I have been doing well with the program but this week I have felt so unliked! (I told them about some personal problems which they were great with but now i have this feeling)(they also got me a cake and present for my bday, so I dont think its them) can anyone relate? is it me? is it them? one is jealous of my relationship with our clients (im nice shes not) and the other two have been crazy busy..why unliked and insecure now? is this another ocd distration coming forward?

Sometimes DEPRESSION can give you the false allusion that "nobody likes me" "I'm not worth liking". You may be self loathing which is being extended into your work relationships. How well do you like YOURSELF? I struggle with this constantly. The fallacy is that "If I don't like myself then how can anyone else like me?"

Just something to think about. You're not alone with that at all

Hi Stacey:

wowee that is interesting insight. When I started this program I 'thought' I only suffered from depression, now I have been working on curing my anxiety and ocd which I believe led to the depression but havent been working with my seasonal/always depression.. I am going to continue with that thought and check things out, perhaps you are right, I have always had slight SAD, maybe thats it! thanks SO much for that suggestion, I am going to explore it more!

P.s. I like myself.. I dont have major insecurity or self loathing, more frustration of anxiety and ocd which hinders the above.. but thats why this feeling sticks out, I am very confident in my career. I am trying to get out of a relationship, perhaps thats making me insecure! wow! Great point! thanks a million!

I've had problems with social anxiety since childhood, so I can definitely relate. For me, I'm not sure it's a feeling of being truly disliked (although sometimes it is), but more of a sense of not fitting in or not being accepted. I'm almost positive most, if not all, of it is probably all in my head, and stems from low self esteem and insecurity. To make matters worse, my way of dealing with it has been to be stand-ish and aloof (kind of like I'll reject you before you can reject me). I always felt like I was missing a sociability gene or something, and it's very comforting to see that so many people experience a lot of the same feelings!

these are usually negative congnitions. YOU telling yourself someone don't like you cuz of a lingering look or u think they are staring at you or you have a simple disagreement. 99% of the time this is YOUR problem with processing the situation...

ex: your walking down the street, you see a freind, you wave, they don't wave back...you feel you have done something wrong and dwell on it for weeks, beat yourself up, feel unworthy and in all actuality...THEY JUST DIDN'T SEE YOU WAVE!!!!

yep, i think--i just get a sense--that you're a little extra tired. so depression/SAD would explain that; also, struggles in "romantic" relationships have a way a draining energy in a sneaky sort of way.

relationships go through ups and downs, too. so--maybe make some gentle, positive overtures toward your co-workers.

hope the other relationship thing works out. i hope you can face that head on and get whatever support you need as you make a transition in that arena.

Thank you all for your wonderful posts, I think you are all correct, it totally stems from me. I am going to work on that.

MC Grace, You are so great! so encouraging and open in sharing, I think we both share the challenge of OCD (from reading around) and I cannot thank you enough for your empathy towards me and my current rough situations, especially the relationship connection, that is very sweet of you to interrelate those two! you are one of the people who make constant contributions to this program and I cannot thank you enough for your time, energy and wisdom! bless you!

I think this is common for anxiety suffers. I have days where I'm paranoid and think people are looking at me funny or saying things in a certain negative way...but the truth is all in how we are taking in the information. Because in actuality, so what if they don't like us? And really, its like we think the world is revovling around us. I mean are they really thinking about us as often as we think they are?? Its really a negative thinking thing when you do this. I remember when I first started the program I bought my little negative positive notebook (which of course I thought I was not going to have anything to write in it). While checking out at the drug store with my note book, the cashier looked at me, OF COURSE, and I construed her eye contact as a million things. I thought for sure she thought I was a loser and stupid. As I walked out of the store, wow, I had my first thing to write. Even if someone is thinking those things or does not like you, then what do they matter to you?

Something else that helps me is when I see other people who are uncomfortable or doing something that I think might be a little odd. I take note of them, and I think about how they are okay, and geez doesn't that make me okay too? No one is perfect or totally accepted...its just all in how we roll with the punches

Maeggie,

Thanks for the kinds words. I've got goosebumps!