Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 11:26 am
Hi!
I began StressCenter program in August and have found it to be very helpful. I have not used the forums yet because our computer is very slow in our rural area. I need help now knowing what to do next.
I have struggled with anxiety most of my life. I was always able to work through it in the past with prayer and friends and family. The physical symptoms have gradually increased over the years until I hit a crisis point this past spring. This is a little of my history:
I was always a very sensitive child..many nightmares and sleepwalking and easily hurt by other children. I was frightened of my father when I was growing up. I didn't understand at that time that much of his anger was from his own anxiety. We have a good relationship now. He coped with his anxiety by eating trememdous amounts of food and he still fights to keep under 300 pounds.
I am a singer and musician and have been a music teacher for 20 years of my life. I still sing for some funerals but since April it has taken tremendous effort to get through the performances and I'm exhausted afterwards.
During my 20 years of teaching I became more and more involved with contests. I was nervous at first but could get through...by the end I would be trying to throw up and unable to eat until the recital or contest was over. I'd usually have a great burst of energy then when it was all over but gradually the last year I was teaching it would take me 2 or 3 days to recover. My family became concerned and urged me to try a different job with less performing.
I took a job at our local library...not knowing that there was tremendous political turbulence going on there and that I was really being hired to replace the director...a much more high stress job than I'd anticipated. The director was having an anxiety problem of her own and was very critical every day. I could never please her no matter how hard I tried and I became obsessive-compulsive...getting up at night to go in and see if I'd done all the things she'd asked me to and staying later and later and coming earlier and earlier to try to do the job. I realized after 8 months that she was never going to let me work with children like I'd thought and decided to try for another job.
I got a job working as a para-educator with 2 special needs children. I was excited because I have worked with special needs children successfully before and I wouldn't need to be in charge of the classroom. I started out well but about 6 weeks into the job when I started having more difficulty with the Down's Syndrome child I was caring for most of the day I started to have the worst anxiety attacks of my life. I became more and more obsessed with the idea that I was failing at this job, couldn't eat and was losing lots of weight, wasn't sleeping at all, felt like fainting and throwing up very often, was very weak often, and had espisodes when I couldn't quit shaking until my teeth would chatter and I'd get exhausted. I ended up in the hospital after 3 weeks of this. I had managed to keep working through this time. They found I have low blood pressure problems and started me on Prozac and Xanax. They sent me to counselling and told me to keep working. I struggled more and more each day to get to work even with medicine and got much weaker. I was taking more and more Xanax just to get through. After 3 weeks I ended up in the emergency room with a major anxiety attack and was sent to a psychiatric hospital for 2 days. It was a very frightening experience because they took me completely away from my family (my safe people) they changed my medicines to Zoloft and Klonopin and I quit my job.
I've been resting and improving since then and started the program in August. I'm doing much better in many ways. I know that 2 main areas that I struggle with are lack of assertiveness and problems with extremely high expectations for myself. My family says I'm not controlling or setting high expectations for them but I push myself with the unrealistic view that I should somehow never make a mistake.
I also have 3 daughters. They are wonderful and beautiful! The oldest has no problems that we know of with anxiety but the younger 2 are twins and have anxiety problems. Some of their problems provoke my anxiety and I need help to know how to help them. One of the girls has panic attacks that cause her heart to race. We've been to the emergency room before and have had testing and it's anxiety that causes them. Both twins started having the anxiety in junior high when they no longer fit in at school. They have always been extremely shy despite efforts from church family, family and frinds that have tried to encourage them. We tried counselling and many other strategies to try to help them become more confident and be able to make friends but high school was excruciating till they were seniors. They tended to cling together for friendship. They did have a few friends at school by the time they graduated but never anyone that called or invited them over. One of the girls was not even able to use the phone until this year...it's still very difficult for her.
They are in college now and these are the current problems. 1) I am still told by people downtown that they didn't think my girls would ever make it in college. (I'm happy to tell them that they are doing well and are enjoying their new friends) 2) One girl is having trouble with the roommate she had last year. She continues to make verbal attacks when they meet in the hall and she has responded by not responding. 3) My other daughter also has epilepsy and has struggled with depression issues as well as anxiety. Some of this is due to the medications that she has to take. She has more trouble with the work mostly because she puts it off...she is very bright and capable. She struggles also with terrible migraine headaches. She will be doing just fine many times when she calls but then there will be a call like I got Wednesday when she's sure that everyone thinks she's a loser, she wants to drop out of school, she'll never quit having headaches, etc. I try to respond with positive answers and lately I've been cutting the conversation short to stop the negative and e-mailing her instead. Could you help me to know how to respond to these problems?
My husband also hates to use the telephone. He works hard to do it because he wants to encourage the girls. He does not enjoy social situations and doesn't talk much in public. He does much more now that he wants to help our girls. I used to be much more social but really struggle now with chest pain, faintness, and nausea in social situations although I've kept trying. The counsellors felt that part of my problem is that I've been caring for so many other people's anxiety for so long that I did myself in physically. I was working way too many hours when I was teaching and we also went through a tornado 5 years ago that took our home. The counsellor and my husband and I have agreed that I need to check out everything with my husband before I say yes. He's very easy-going and has always said yes before but he can see when the anxiety is getting extreme and we've chosen to cut back a few things because of that. I have a hard time knowing when I should keep trying and when I should cut back.
Thank you for your help!
I began StressCenter program in August and have found it to be very helpful. I have not used the forums yet because our computer is very slow in our rural area. I need help now knowing what to do next.
I have struggled with anxiety most of my life. I was always able to work through it in the past with prayer and friends and family. The physical symptoms have gradually increased over the years until I hit a crisis point this past spring. This is a little of my history:
I was always a very sensitive child..many nightmares and sleepwalking and easily hurt by other children. I was frightened of my father when I was growing up. I didn't understand at that time that much of his anger was from his own anxiety. We have a good relationship now. He coped with his anxiety by eating trememdous amounts of food and he still fights to keep under 300 pounds.
I am a singer and musician and have been a music teacher for 20 years of my life. I still sing for some funerals but since April it has taken tremendous effort to get through the performances and I'm exhausted afterwards.
During my 20 years of teaching I became more and more involved with contests. I was nervous at first but could get through...by the end I would be trying to throw up and unable to eat until the recital or contest was over. I'd usually have a great burst of energy then when it was all over but gradually the last year I was teaching it would take me 2 or 3 days to recover. My family became concerned and urged me to try a different job with less performing.
I took a job at our local library...not knowing that there was tremendous political turbulence going on there and that I was really being hired to replace the director...a much more high stress job than I'd anticipated. The director was having an anxiety problem of her own and was very critical every day. I could never please her no matter how hard I tried and I became obsessive-compulsive...getting up at night to go in and see if I'd done all the things she'd asked me to and staying later and later and coming earlier and earlier to try to do the job. I realized after 8 months that she was never going to let me work with children like I'd thought and decided to try for another job.
I got a job working as a para-educator with 2 special needs children. I was excited because I have worked with special needs children successfully before and I wouldn't need to be in charge of the classroom. I started out well but about 6 weeks into the job when I started having more difficulty with the Down's Syndrome child I was caring for most of the day I started to have the worst anxiety attacks of my life. I became more and more obsessed with the idea that I was failing at this job, couldn't eat and was losing lots of weight, wasn't sleeping at all, felt like fainting and throwing up very often, was very weak often, and had espisodes when I couldn't quit shaking until my teeth would chatter and I'd get exhausted. I ended up in the hospital after 3 weeks of this. I had managed to keep working through this time. They found I have low blood pressure problems and started me on Prozac and Xanax. They sent me to counselling and told me to keep working. I struggled more and more each day to get to work even with medicine and got much weaker. I was taking more and more Xanax just to get through. After 3 weeks I ended up in the emergency room with a major anxiety attack and was sent to a psychiatric hospital for 2 days. It was a very frightening experience because they took me completely away from my family (my safe people) they changed my medicines to Zoloft and Klonopin and I quit my job.
I've been resting and improving since then and started the program in August. I'm doing much better in many ways. I know that 2 main areas that I struggle with are lack of assertiveness and problems with extremely high expectations for myself. My family says I'm not controlling or setting high expectations for them but I push myself with the unrealistic view that I should somehow never make a mistake.
I also have 3 daughters. They are wonderful and beautiful! The oldest has no problems that we know of with anxiety but the younger 2 are twins and have anxiety problems. Some of their problems provoke my anxiety and I need help to know how to help them. One of the girls has panic attacks that cause her heart to race. We've been to the emergency room before and have had testing and it's anxiety that causes them. Both twins started having the anxiety in junior high when they no longer fit in at school. They have always been extremely shy despite efforts from church family, family and frinds that have tried to encourage them. We tried counselling and many other strategies to try to help them become more confident and be able to make friends but high school was excruciating till they were seniors. They tended to cling together for friendship. They did have a few friends at school by the time they graduated but never anyone that called or invited them over. One of the girls was not even able to use the phone until this year...it's still very difficult for her.
They are in college now and these are the current problems. 1) I am still told by people downtown that they didn't think my girls would ever make it in college. (I'm happy to tell them that they are doing well and are enjoying their new friends) 2) One girl is having trouble with the roommate she had last year. She continues to make verbal attacks when they meet in the hall and she has responded by not responding. 3) My other daughter also has epilepsy and has struggled with depression issues as well as anxiety. Some of this is due to the medications that she has to take. She has more trouble with the work mostly because she puts it off...she is very bright and capable. She struggles also with terrible migraine headaches. She will be doing just fine many times when she calls but then there will be a call like I got Wednesday when she's sure that everyone thinks she's a loser, she wants to drop out of school, she'll never quit having headaches, etc. I try to respond with positive answers and lately I've been cutting the conversation short to stop the negative and e-mailing her instead. Could you help me to know how to respond to these problems?
My husband also hates to use the telephone. He works hard to do it because he wants to encourage the girls. He does not enjoy social situations and doesn't talk much in public. He does much more now that he wants to help our girls. I used to be much more social but really struggle now with chest pain, faintness, and nausea in social situations although I've kept trying. The counsellors felt that part of my problem is that I've been caring for so many other people's anxiety for so long that I did myself in physically. I was working way too many hours when I was teaching and we also went through a tornado 5 years ago that took our home. The counsellor and my husband and I have agreed that I need to check out everything with my husband before I say yes. He's very easy-going and has always said yes before but he can see when the anxiety is getting extreme and we've chosen to cut back a few things because of that. I have a hard time knowing when I should keep trying and when I should cut back.
Thank you for your help!