Stress Center Peer Support

Apart from my doctor, know one knows about my anxiety and I would never tell anyone due to the stigma attached to mental disorders, you get tarred wit the loco brush which really wouldn't do anything to help my self confidence, I've managed to hide it for about 7 or more years, My OH doesn't even know, I suspect my father has anxiety also but again he is a very private person, I think it may be a male thing to keep it private, women are more likly to tell people I reckon, I've never even visited a psychologist due to others thinking I'm loco, even my wife, She has an aunt with clinical depression, and they all make fun of this aunt, so she would be the last person on earth I tell as I see the way her and her family react to her aunt, And sadly I must admit, I probably would of been the same before I developed anxiety

I started really struggling with anxiety and panic after I got marriedI lot of traumati things happen to me at once that sent me into extreme panic. I was so embarrased by the way I was feeling. I didnt tell anyone but my mom. My husband didnt even know. I was to embarrased to tell him I felt like I was loosing my mind. I started taking medicine for it without even telling him. I got pregnant and staop taking the medicine and I went right back to the way I was feeling but worse. Finally I told my husband after a year what was going on with me and that was the hardest thing for me to do. But he has been supported. I started telling others and its amazing how many people are suffering and dont want to tell anyone. You will be surprised when you open up how many people feel the way you feel.

The only reason my husband knew was because he had to live with me! And the ONLY place I put down my gaurd (and even there it wasn't all the way!) was at home. He got to see more of the depression problems though. The anxiety - that's a big one I would HIDE. I have a job where I am in the public eye A LOT (my boss is an top level executive) so I don't dare show any weakness at work! I have had my share of crying spells and anxiety attacks in the bathroom, file room, etc. I think men do have it worse (hiding it, that is), but women do it too.

I'm sorry that you feel that your wife wouldn't understand. Do you think she would be open to watching the "I'm There for You" Cd with this program? Having that support at home is really important...if you feel safe about it.

It was really hard for me to tell my husband, but when I explained how important it was to me to improve me...so I could improve my half of "us" and my 1/4 (or more) of our family (there's 4 of us - get it? I'm attempting to do math! ha ha)...he reluctantly agreed. BUT...when he started seeing the results...he was GUNG HO all for this!

Best wishes as you recover and heal!

Blessings,
Dawn

I didn't need to keep it a secret- I think everyone could pretty much see it. I worked in a high stress job and most people I worked with were the same way. In fact, when someone needed a Xanax there was always someone there who had one.

I agree that the stigma is much tougher on men, we are looked upon as being able to control our selfs and be leaders and anxiety sabatoges that. I realize that I have had mine since I was a child.
One thing I would caution against, if your wife makes fun of her aunt's clinical depression then what ever you do don't tell her about your condition. I've been there. She will most likely loose respect for you. The key is you have to be able to do this for yourself. You have to be prepared to make yourself better regardless of what others think of you. You can do it, it is just very hard and consistant work. I wanted so much for my family to understand but I have come to realize I have started Obsessing with trying to get them to understand and it is becoming an obstical to my recovery.

I cracked the whip on myself trying to keep my anxiety from showing. At the height of my condition I would panic at my desk at work. Inside of me my head and mind were occupied with total fear - yet on the outside I maintained a cool, calm facade that hid my condition well. Nobody detected my condition - that would be a sure sign of weakness.

Guess what? When I let go of this fear and dropped my gaurd, I came to a point where I didn't care about stigma and what other people thought. The best byproduct of letting go is my symptoms quickly subsided. Now I joke about it with my coworkers like "someone get me a Xanax...I'm gonna freak!" Instead of pointing fingers at me and making fun of me, they all laugh with me, because they've probably been in the same boat and can totally relate!

I agree with motor city - i used to always bottle my anxiety up - scared that if anyone actually knew how 'weak' or 'weird' i was that it would be awful...
but after I started talking about it and realizing just how common it was, i started to feel better... i dont make a big deal about it, but i am forthcoming now if i am feeling anxious rather than trying to cover it up

I used to feel the same way. My husband's family doesn't "believe in" antidepressants or nerve pills as they call them. They alawys talked badly about people who were depressed or anxious as if they were lazy or selfish. For 8 years my husband didn't know what was "wrong" with me. When it got really bad and I finally told him he cried that I had been afraid to tell him. I explained exactky how it felt and the first time it had happened and how much I hated it and wanted to be "normal". He has been my biggest supporter and talking about my anxieties ti him has helped me to come very far.

I have for years . i didn't know what it was when I was in school.
and I have found myself getting worse all the time . sleep is my best thing to do . and I really mean sleep . I find myself so exhusted after work. I want to sleep . I have to be at work at 7 am here it is 2am and I am up woke up at 12:35 having a panic att.try to talk to my self.breath and figure out what is bothering me. I figured out 3 things work husbands drinking and health and this sleeping proublem. I can't seem to sleep. wake up in a sweat shaking on the inside and can't control it and know I cant just pop a xanax each time I get like this. I work in a hospital and have seen first hand what xanax can do to a person. I am feeling more and more like I have no one to talk to . or I should say no one I really trust to talk to about my personal feelings . so dont expect to much out of me. sorry and prayfully and this program we will be able to open up and speak are minds and not worry about what other people think or have to say. That is my goal

i know what you mean and men usully try to be the strong type that if they tell anything that it makes them weak. let me tell yo this as a man. if you let others know how you feel and they have been where you are now and have waked in your shoes and have overcome panic and anxiety and so can you..find others that you can relate too and talk it over with them and you will find peace and comfort and they will not laugh or call you names..if you hold it in it will make it worse. take care and have a good day and be blessed..
don
from a man that is not too proud too tell my story and it helped...if you get a chance please read my profile and it will fill you in thanks