Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:33 pm
Lately, I feel like I've been "walking on eggshells" with myself--like I have this hyper-critical, moody boss inside my head ready to pounce on any perceived misstep, anything I say that comes out wrong, and especially anything I feel could mess something up. Little details--like the way I made out a check (what if I did that wrong and they don't take it?) or something I mentioned to my boss today (uh oh, I don't want to give a wrong impression and find my head on the chopping block!)
The thing that bugs me is, I have a hard time letting these little things go, even though they almost always turn out fine and I know it! I want to be able to let go of them sooner so that they do not dominate my thoughts for hours. It just seems I used to be able to shrug things off or forget them more easily but not these days. I guess maybe because there are a lot of underlying stresses--things are slow at work and a couple people have been laid off, the economy's shaky, we just refinanced our house--life seems a little fragile right now. I know at these times I just need to let go & let God, and stop putting so much pressure on myself to hold things together! It's not so much knowing WHAT I need to do to get over this, it's knowing how--or maybe just not having enough patience with the process--that is an issue for me.
The thing that bugs me is, I have a hard time letting these little things go, even though they almost always turn out fine and I know it! I want to be able to let go of them sooner so that they do not dominate my thoughts for hours. It just seems I used to be able to shrug things off or forget them more easily but not these days. I guess maybe because there are a lot of underlying stresses--things are slow at work and a couple people have been laid off, the economy's shaky, we just refinanced our house--life seems a little fragile right now. I know at these times I just need to let go & let God, and stop putting so much pressure on myself to hold things together! It's not so much knowing WHAT I need to do to get over this, it's knowing how--or maybe just not having enough patience with the process--that is an issue for me.