Hello all!
I'm new to the program... started week 2 on Saturday, but this is the first time I've spent time in peer support.
Looking back I think I've had a problem with anxiety and depression since I was a small child, but it became nearly unbearable around 2 months ago. The constant racing thoughts, fear of not being good enough, feelings of sadness, and physical symptoms elevated to the point where I had difficulty going to work. I haven't been able to enjoy my children -- couldn't even enjoy Christmas. I have been caught in the vicious anxiety/depression circle. I spoke with someone yesterday about it, and the best way I could describe it was by asking the question, "Do you know what it's like to miss yourself?"
Week 1 gave me a better understanding of what is going on with me, and so far week 2 is definitely proving beneficial as far as the panic attacks go. Today, for the first time in 2 months, I had a really good day. It was the best feeling.
Yet the skeptic sneaks in... I know that my biggest problem is negative thought. I constantly analyze situations and look for ways within the situation that prove me unworthy. I'm always worrying about being good enough, and looking for "signs" that I'm not. I take innocent situations and blow them way out of proportion... and I have this need to be the most important person (the best) in everyone's life... except I would never consider myself the best at anything. Does any of this make sense? I guess what I'm wondering is when I begin learning to change the negative thought to positive.
So, to anyone who actually hung in there to read this (I know it's long), thank you... and I hope I'll hear from some of you! Take care!
Newbie
-
jenmelberg
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Mon Mar 13, 2006 9:22 pm