Stress Center Peer Support

I just can't take it anymore! Every morning I wake up and I burst into tears and feel awful and I am tired of feeling this way! I have been listening to the tapes on and off for the past 2 years and can't seem to break this cycle of bad thoughts. I am fixated on not feeling well and am convinced that I have something wrong with me! I am so afraid that I am going to pass out at my wedding in 10 days that I have seriously thought about calling the whole thing off. I am scheduled for a beautiful 2 week honeymoon and all I can fixate on is, "I hope I'm going to be okay." The body symptoms are just tremendous--the dizziness and spaciness are the worst! I feel like I am watching my life through a movie!! If anyone can offer me any support or guidance, I would truly appreciate it! I feel like I have to pull all of this together in 10 days! It's my wedding---shouldn't I be excited?? And my fiance is tremendous, but how long can he take me bursting into tears everyday? Thanks all..sorry for being so long and desperate--but I am !

A wedding IS a huge amount of stress for EVERY bride! know that even the MOST "easy-going" person you know was or will be "stressing" when planning their "big day". you should know that in a year or two and 3,4,5...you'll be smiling and joking around about what a stresser it was! I wouldn't say that you should get down on yourself right now for being a bit stressed though--try to use the techniques you've learned and maybe even run all this past your doctor! you know that you want to truly enjoy this time in your life and you also know that sitting idle and stressing, and stressing about stressing is building a wall between you and enjoying the moments right in front of you! Make a game plan(make a list,make appt. w/ doc.,make time to sit back and do relax. cd, even sched. that in between hair and pics on wedding morning) then get up and one at a time start getting the things done on that list. anxious thoughts fly through our heads like crazy (esp. at a time like this!) so write them down, organize and re-write the list and HOPEFULLY you won't feel sooo over-whelmed....and if it makes you feel any better know that I don't remember any of my wedding cerimony...I was sooo anxious that my heart was racing, I was afraid my deo would stop working cause I started to sweat and I thought I might drop my bouquet because my hands were numb but guess what--- I'm still married to that man 8 yrs. later, yes,he fell in-love w/ that oh-so-complicated and corky me and yes he is now standing behind me every step of the way through this program! SOOO RELAX! learn to laugh at yourself for stressing over certain "not-so-imp." things and go write that list!!! I wish you ALL the luck in the world-if you want something badly enough(whatever it may be) you CAN achieve it!

Hello. I just had to respond to your post as I can totally relate. When I became engaged to my now husband, my anxiety went through the roof. I was stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed planning everything. I was like I don't think I can do this.

I did not have the program when I got married. I wished I had, maybe I could have enjoyed the build up to the wedding. Well I just kept moving forward with my plans. I had several panic attacks daily but I knew I how much I loved my husband.

I remeber being in the limo outside the Church with my parents having a humdinger of a panic attack but I got out of the car. When I got to the top of the aisle and saw my husband, it was amazing the fear left me. I knew at that time I was making the best decision of my life. I really wanted to marry him. I walked down the aisle with the most incrediable sense of peace, knowing that this was truely what I wanted.

As it says in the lesson book, good our bad stress will produce the body sensations, the rush of adrenaline. Listen to the relaxation tape over and over and over. I'd also suggest listening to tape 2 on overcoming a panic attack and tape 3 on negative thinking.

The only real advice I have for you is to enjoy your wedding day. There is such tremendous preparation for it and before you know it it's over. Congratulations and best wishes on your life together. Take care and God Bless.

I am new to the program. In fact it hasn't even arrived yet. But I am not new to this. It has run un my family for generations. For the last 15 years I have been working to improve my condition and defeat depression. IT CAN BE DONE! For me this course is one of many treatments. I believe you need to try to input good information into your brain every day. When we go to school, our teachers and parents try to teach us skills for life. These mainly consist of reading, writing, math etc. What we are rarely taught is how to think. Or worse, our life's early mentors were negative depressed people. Those of us who are depressed need to retrain ourselves how to think. Just as a new puppy without training will bark, chew and make your life miserable, one who is well trained will make your life a joy. It is much the same with your brain. Seek help. Find a proffesional therapist who is trained in cognitive thinking. Work this program daily. It is much like AA or any other recovery program. You get out of it what you put in. Learn how to pray and or meditate. By this I do not mean asking an old man sitting on a cloud to heal you. Learn directive positive thinking. This means take time to close your eyes and visualize yourself as the joyful beautiful person that you want to be. When negative thoughts come into your mind, aknowledge them, say you do not want them and let them go. Then see youself as you wish to be. This takes practice. A conselor, whether it be someone in your church, a psycholigist, or someone who teaches transendental meditation can help you with this. I have read books and done programs like this for many years. Some of them are books by Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Stephen Covey, David M. Burns, M. Scott Peck. Each has given me a uniqe insight into my condition. Consider it going back to school. I am off of medication and have my condition at bay. However, it takes commitment. It does get easier every day. I do however have setbacks. This is OK. You learn that in the race of life you may trip and fall. Everybody does. You just accept it and get back up and keep going. You can only climb a mountain one step at a time. Talk to your fiance. Share your fears. Maybe a small ceramony without a lot of pressure would be a good idea. Maybe a wedding with the 2 of you at your vacation destination would ber less pressure. You can always have a low key reception when you come home. Most of all maintain hope. This condition IS NOT incurable. Take confort in that thought and work a little every day. Set aside a specific time to meditate every day. Start by thinking about what you are grateful for in life. Think about the things that make you happy. Avoid negative people. Ignore them. Walk away from them if they start to bring you down. Find a network of friends who are happy and live life as you want to. Talk to them. Practice smiling. You can do it I promise.

I am not judging you but I want you to know that this is your scare voice having a great time at your expense. Do you see what I am saying. Shout STOP!! Shout it out loud. Take some deep breaths and start to tell yourself that YOU WILL HANDLE IT. No matter what happens YOU WILL HANDLE IT. Period. You are entertaining your thoughts and your thoughts are thin air. It's just your negative voice. Start to change that. Turn it around by comforting and soothing yourself instead of scaring the hell out of yourself. Don't give up. Plus, remember the acronym for fear: FALSE EVIDENCE (OR EXAGGERATIONS) APPEARING REAL. This negative voice always lies, exaggerates and catastrophizes.

Stop talking back to these thoughts. You are listening to air. It's just air. Your words are not a call to action. They do not have a crystal ball.

If you need help with organizing your wedding then ask for that help from others.

But mostly it is what you are saying to yourself. You won't have a nervous breakdown. It's just your scare voice wanting you to think you will have one. You will calm down when you stop scaring yourself. You'll stop squirting adrenalin when you stop scaring yourself.

It's normal to have pre-wedding blues. So accept that. It's common and normal.

Sit down and write a success scenerio about your wedding and the days that preceed it. How do you WANT it to be? Write about your honeymoon and how you want it to be. Read it everyday prior to your special event. Put your focus on the positive instead of the negative. Yes, you can do it. You're a lot tougher than that scare voice and negative thinker in your head.

Congratulations and happiness to you and your spouse to be.