Stress Center Peer Support

Does anyone else feel overwhelmed and exhausted from all this work?
I was beginning to feel sorry I ever opened this can of worms because I thought I would get lost in a swirling vortex of morbid introspection. (LOL) But I am surviving. I thought it would make me more self-absorbed – and maybe it is a little – but it also makes me want to be more connected with people and to have real understanding and compassion and patience with them.
I am starting to lighten up. Sharing these things with so many others, of which I was previously unaware, dissolves the stigma and makes it less imposing and scary. The hilarious thing is that we are all the same and some of us humans “act like” we have it more together than others – these are the ones who judge the most because they are scared to death of the weakness within themselves and so they reject it in others who have the courage to be real about it.
I once went to a counselor who “had it all together”. I was seeking help with parenting, earnestly wanting to do what I could to help my children be the best they can be. In one of our first (and last) sessions, I kept trying to find some common ground so that I could trust her enough to be vulnerable about my parental insecurities. I asked her about her own background and if she had personal challenges that she had overcome. She said she was a basically well-adjusted person because she had been privileged to come from a very secure home life. I commented that it must be challenging sometimes to relate to her clients. I kept feeling this sense of condescension (just little comments or body language or something) and thought I was probably being paranoid. Later, when I decided not to go back because I just felt uneasy with her, she called and let me know in a syrupy voice that she thought I was short-changing my children by not “getting them the help they needed”. I calmly and assertively told her that I cared very much about my children but that I was the one to decide what kind of help they needed and that we would be ok and thanked her for her concern. She still wouldn’t let it go – accusing me of not wanting to make the financial investment (it was a very expensive therapy that she had proposed for us all). I finally had to tell her, in as kind a way as I could, that SHE was the reason I had discontinued therapy and that that was my decision and right. She later called and made some ridiculous quibble about $10 on my account and totally revealed her motives. She literally wouldn’t stop talking and obsessing about $10! I finally said calmly, “I’m hanging up now.” (I had already paid the $10.) I realized, “Hey, sometimes my intuition can be trusted. I was right about her!” Looking back now, I can almost feel sorry for her. I think that is the ultimate step in the process – to move past indignation – to understanding and forgiveness… Even if the other person is never able to see themselves through the eyes of others. WE all need mercy and forbearance…until we are able to see and accept the truth. It’s taken me 46 years to even begin to see my own stuff. (ha!)
Good luck, everyone, in your journey...

Good for you!

Hooray for you! When professionals don't help, fire them! There is a term, Self Disclosure, in therapy circles. Basically, it means you share in kind with personal information when it is appropriate, and will help the client/patient. Therapists who do that too much, when it is not appropriate, are not helpful. Therapists who cannot self disclose are insecure. Those who find their way into the middle ground as real people, they will help. And when they aren't guiding you along your journey to recovery, and you tell them they aren't, and they don't get defensive, that therapist is probably a keeper, too.
I am working my way through Session 12 this week. Since the day I began this program, my life has been a combination of train wrecks, buses with no wheels, rooms with no corners, and really good days mixed in .
You mention how helpful it has been to you to make these connections. This online community is one of our daily homework assignments. I usually try to sign on more than once. I have learned a great deal about my own issues by some of the posts I have responded to, and made a serious effort to be helpful with. This community made little sense to me in the early weeks. It now makes total sense, and reminds me quite a bit of the Person Centered approach developed by Carl Rogers many years ago. It's a form of Person Centered empathy and a form of Talk Therapy. (Yes, there is a lot more than Cognitive Therapy in this program.) Your inclusion of those of judge as not being helpful is key to this post. When we read posts, and we decide to respond because we sincerely want to be helpful, that comes across. And it is helpful. Even if it is only a single, "hooray for you" thought.

Very good post.

P.S. That therapist could have used this program.