Stress Center Peer Support

Hi all, I am sad tonight. I spoke with an old friend who for years, I feel has in some ways "given up" on me, sort of just put me in a boxed category of "depressed all the time type of person". she has known me for many years and knew me when I was more happy and when I loved my life and was more excited about my life. I have been depressed for many years, mostly due to the fact that I have been single for about 8 years (last serious relationship). Being single for so long has really bothered me and it is through this program that I am learning to accept life as it is and try to see the positive in other parts of my life. Anyway, tonight, I spoke with my old friend and I felt like she was treating me like the "old" me, the depressed me.
I feel sad that:
A) I have been depressed for so many years
B) that my friend seems to be "keeping" me in the old box/label of "depressed person".
C) I used to be more happy and excited about life and I am sad that I have been so depressed for so long.

I wonder how your loved ones and friends respond or have responded to your positive changes as a result of you being in this program?

I wonder if your loved ones/friends also cannot seem to realize or accept that you are getting more positive and less depressed?

Are your loved ones and friends inadvertantly keeping you labeled as a "depressed person" ?

I am sad about all of this.

Can anyone give me some advice or tips on how to deal with loved ones and friends who are so used to me being depressed that it is hard for them to see any of my positive changes?

Thanks for any advice or if you have any similar experience with this.
-Mary

WELL M4, I HAVE MADE MY DAUGHTER WORRIED. MY SON THINKS I'M NUTS. MY GRANDAUGHTER THINKS I'M CRAZY. MY GRANDSON THINKS I'M CRAZY. MY HUSBAND IS GETTING HAPPIER NOW THAT I AM DOING BATTER. I MADE HIM LONLEY. THEY ALL LOVE ME ANYWAY. MY SON USED TO WANT TO TAKE US OUT TO EAT. I ALWAYS SAID NO, I HAVE AGROPHOBIA TODAY. MY HUSBAND WOULD WANT TO GO DO SOMETHING. I WOULD SAY NO, I'M TOO DEPRESSED TODAY. I WAS SO WITHDRAWN,THAT MY SON THOUGHT I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIM ANYMORE. SAME WITH GRANDSON.MY DAUGHTER ALWAYS ASKED WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY. I SAID" NOTHING." I AM GETTING MY LIFE BACK. I AM WORKING AGAIN. I GO OUT TO EAT WITH MY HUSBAND AND FRIENDS. I AM SO MUCH BETTER. I REMOVED MYSELF FROM STRESSOR'S. TRIED A NEW MED THAT IS WORKING. I ACTUALLY STAYED IN MY BEDROOM FOR 2YRS. NEVER GOT DRESSED. MY ONLY CLOTHES IN THE LAUNDRY WERE PJ'S. AS FOR FRIENDS, I FINALLY CALLED MY BEST ONE,BUT NOT UNTIL I WAS FEELING BETTER. TOLD HER MY PROBLEMS. SHE LISTENED,AND UNDERSTANDS.WORK ON GETTING BETTER 1ST. THINGS WILL COME TOGETHER. YOU WILL GET BETTER . GOOD LUCK.......MALIKYE


I AM NOT YELLING

m4

Its hard to get to that end result. By nature I know I wanted everything right now and to have to wait is so difficult. My husband and I have been through so many hard things in life and we've made it through but I can see the scars from the wounds. There is a difference in us. Sometimes it makes me sad to think that things have been tarnished by my as well as his behaivors but I have to keep reminding myself that with every life challange we grow.

I see you listed the 3 things that make you sad....can you find 3 things as well that make you happy with the progress your making? I think if you want the people in your life to see the new you that you are working so hard to create then you have to make those deliberate kind of changes.

The past is the past we cant go back and redo it but we can learn from it. We cant take back the neglect and the hurt that we may have caused someone else while we were hurting. But we can make changes to bring a better standard to our lives and those around us. Time does really heal all wounds. Give it time.

Get yourself feeling even better....start replacing all those sad thoughts and expressions with pleasant, exciting ones. Small changes will make huge impact. Maybe you might want to journalize all your depressed feelings so that you can put them somewhere and get them off your mind.

Continue your program and start replacing every single sad thought you have with something positive....this will get easier and easier as you do it.

Change will come be patient.
Dodger