Please tell me it's all in my head.

Ann M · Post by **Ann M** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:05 pm

I've never really had a full blown panic attack but I've always been anxious. It seems the older I get the stronger my symptoms get. I took myself to the ER 3 times last year thinking I was having a heart attack. I've never talked to a phychiatrist or a psycologist. I switched GP's last year when I bought the program. I'm able to talk to her about anything, if I make an appointment.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon around 3 ish, I hit that infamous brick wall. I couldn't concentrate on my work and I was very tired. I figured this had something to do with what I ate for lunch. You know how some foods can do this to you. Well, just before 5, I started to wonder if I was having sypmtoms of a heart attack. I tend to take after my dad. When he had his heart attack about 10 years ago. His arms felt weak and he felt exhausted. He ended up having bypass surgery. Well, yesterday, when I was feeling tired, my arms felt weak and sorta lifeless. This got me thinking about my dad. You know what happened. Yes, I started having the weird feelings in my chest, nausous and such. I never had any chest pain or presure at all, so I told myself it was just anxiety. When I got home, I started to read the book on Meditation for Dummies that I bought over the weekend. Apparently it worked because I fell asleep for about an hour.

Well, this morning when I got up, I started having the same feelings as the night before. When I got to work, I had a couple of instances when I got an overwhelming warming sensation in my chest. I felt a litte dizzy and lightheaded and not comfortable. My pulse wasn't rapid and I was trying to decide whether or not to make a run to the walkin clinic at my doctors office to have them run tests to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. But, what I ended up doing was trying to reassure myself I was fine and ended up taking a Xanex. I can't say the Xanex worked as well this time as what it has for me in the past.

Anyway, I thought I'd throw my issue out to you all for feedback. I'm thinking I'm at a stage in my life where I need a change. I think I'm heading into a midlife crisis. I'll be 42 in a couple of months and I'm tired of my job. It's a good place to work but we're going through alot of internal changes right now. I feel everyone's stress and pressure which adds to my anxiety. I can't get it through my head, "Don't sweat it. It's not your concern." I'm also tired of what I physically do at work. I need a change. I feel like a robot. I want to do something fun. Unfortunately, the economy in MI is REALLY bad right now so it's not a secure time to change careers without experience. I'd love to live some place warm right now. I'm tired of all the snowy winters in MI. But, I'm also someone who's very scared about going out on a limb and trying something new. My family is all in MI and I'm the type of person who doesn't like to do anything by myself, but I'm the first one on the wagon to do anything or go anywhere with anyone that asks.

Please tell me I'm correct in that it was anxiety I've been experiencing. Also, am I starting to sound like I'm getting depressed?

I'm still working with my doctor in getting the right anxiety meds in my system to get me through everything for awhile. I've started taking Toprol 50mg 1/2 a pill a day. If I take a full pill, I have side affects that really bother me. She hasn't tried any other anxiety med yet, but I have weened myself off the HBP meds. My BP seems to run mid 130's over mid 80's and my pulse is in the mid to low 70's. I've been told this is ok but she'd like to lower the bottom # in my BP to the 70's. She wants me to try taking a full pill of the Toprol again but I told her I'd wait until the new prescription is filled next week.

I am ok right? It's just anxiety, right?

I feel for all of you that have been going through this the majority of your lives. This sucks.

Even though I dn't personally know any of you, I love you all for being here and listening or talking to me to get through this disorder.

Ann

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:46 pm

hi your heart is fine i jus got back from the hospital about 2 hours ago i am a mess i sometimes wake up from a deep sleep and my heart is beating about 150 bpm if not more ive had all sorts of tests im 20 years old and every doctor i see tells me that im fine im a healthy young man im missing out on alot of oppertuities i was supposed to fight in the golden gloves this year and now i cant im so deep in depression i dno wat to do

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:50 pm

Hi Ann,

Sorry to hear about your bad days at work. The last 2 years I worked were horrible and that's where I had my first panic attack. Scary, aint it?

I've been in therapy and on Zoloft for a little over a year. Just had my dose increased from 100mg to 150mg coz of a setback during Christmas. Getting more mellow, but also more homebound, just sitting at my computer doing artwork all day in my jammies and bathrobe.

The worry about the heart attack is really bothersome. I used to do the same at work, getting chest pains and freaking out. I remember being releived one time coz the pain was on the other side of my chest.

I don't like going to doctors, and I pretty much don't unless things get way too scary for me. I think that since you have this doctor you can talk to, it would probably help to talk to her about these episodes and maybe get a physical and/or the tests done just so you know that you're not in any danger of having one, and then when you get those 'feelings' you can tell yourself that you're fine--you're not having a heart attack, and you can try some of the positive talk that Lucinda tells us to do.

Take care Ann, like I said, I know what it's like to have to work at a job that is stressful, so I'll keep you in my prayers. Hang in there and God bless.

Ballpoint

JonesyAZ · Post by **JonesyAZ** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:32 pm

Ann, That's all it is...anxiety. Your description was one of a panic attack in the making and then coming nearly full force. You mentioned that you feel others stress, whoa right there! Here is the realistic answer to this concern for others: Think about it, they are a seperate entity, your spirit-man and their spirit-man cannot co-mingle. In no possible way can you get insides another's body and physically nor mentally carry anything for them therefore relieving them of their stress!
SECOND point: you said you thought about the body symptoms of a heart attack, therefore what you told us is that you dwelled on this matter, OOPS another mistake that we (anxiety) people do. DO NOT ponder on such things, do not always be sitting around 'wondering' any at all, that's how we get into trouble. We wonder 'is this heart trouble, is this a tumor'? No it isn't. It is us allowing our minds to think much too deep and worry.
I say all of this from experience because I was a master of it. I know you have a lot on your mind, but we all have to find a different way to deal with it. You also mentioned that you feel for those who have had to deal with this for a long time, but I will say to you PLEASE do not let it get further than it has gone thusfar, especially when you have the tools of the program to delete this mindset.
Best to you!
Rod

Hally · Post by **Hally** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 3:02 pm

LeftHook,
I have been dealing with the same thing. i am 20 years old and just had me first anxiety attack in november. I was at work and got lightheaded, sick to my stomach, dizzy, shakey, and lots of other stuff. I went to the ER and my heart rate was between 130-140. they did lots of test and there is nothing wrong with my heart. I did learn that i can really control my heart rate with my breathing, it really works, Along with exercise.

jamie