Stress Center Peer Support

Hello, my name is Rachael. I am 20 years old and living in Tennessee. This past year I started suffering from anxiety disorder and panic attacks. I would like to tell my story in hopes that perhaps it will give a better understanding of what I’m going through myself. Please be advised that I might share some personal information that many may not care to read about.

It started about a year ago. I had gone about 20 years without ever having to second guess what I am feeling when I walk into a store or if I will faint. I went to visit my boyfriends parents one weekend. We arrived on a Friday night, I went to bed fine until I woke up around 3 a.m. thinking I was going to get sick. I was very hot, sweating, and my mind was racing. I went to the bathroom for about 30 mins, and nothing happened. I went back to bed for about 15 minutes and repeated going into the bathroom thinking I was still going to get sick.

The next morning, I did not feel like myself. I literally thought something was seriously wrong with me. We got home that Sunday night and went to his house. All of a sudden I became nervous, shaky and told him to take me home, because I did not feel right.

To make a long story short, I told my parents and they both have a history of anxiety disorder from long ago so he was able to inform me of what was happening. To be sure, we went to my family doctor and my OBGYN (At this times, I was on birth control – which to this day I can no longer take because it makes me sick). My family doctor ran tests and gave me a two-week supply for anxiety medicine, everything came out normal.

However, when I went to my OBGYN.. they told me they neglected to tell me my pap came back adnormal back in April and I was then diagnosed with HPV. After a biopsy and a surgery later, I had precancer. But now I am back to a level 0 but with the HPV virus still in my system. This health thing sure put a toll on my subconscious

So here I am, almost a year later. I have major anxiety issues when it comes to doctors. I pass out when I get shots, once also when I got my blood pressure taken, an eye exam, and almost passed out while getting my nails done when the lady cute me with the drill (it was bad). I am currently in school and work full time so it is hard to move through the program each week, sometimes I spend more than a week on each. However, lately, I worry that I may not be able to have kids because I can’t deal with blood or doctors. Is this the case? I try to overcome it, but nothing seems to work. I am so bad that even if its not me whose getting shots or going to the doctors (even the vet!) I still get all woozy and need to get out. Any ideas? Or am I the only one with this problem?


Thanks for listening. I know my storyboard wasn’t well organized.

Bless your heart. I used to be terrified of needles and medicines, but these days I live in the doctors' offices. I do get anxious when they put that blood pressure cup on and it seems to pump up forever and get so tight, I just want to jump up and jerk it off.
I too have HPV which is what I wanted to talk to you about. My doc has assured me that with paps every six months, treatment is 99% effective in terms of the cancer. I go for my next biopsy next month and regardless of the outcome, it's treatable. I have also had a colpo which freezes off the precancerous cells, and there is nothing to that. Barely more than an exam.
You will have beautiful babies one day. You are going to overcome this anxiety with this tapes, with education and knowledge about pregnancy and childbirth (there are classes and tons of books out there), and the sheer maternal instinct you will have when you get ready to be a mom.
Have fatih in yourself and have faith in God. He is looking out for you and has provided the nurses and doctors with the skills and knowledge to take good care of you.
Best wishes, Beverly

Rachael,
I am 21, just wanted to let ya know i feel for ya..i am scared of doctors and stuff to..although i don't pass out..keep positive..not saying ur anxiety will go away completely, but with time u probably will feel better, even if u take baby steps..goodluck

well ur definetly not alone, as far as beverly and angelo goes, i too can say, everything is going to be ok, and that we all are nervous when it comes to doctors, hospitals, needles, etc..
i too had a pap last july which came back abnormal, with HPV. i did the colonoscopy, and it came back good, and my next check up is this july. i had breast cancer at 21. and u would think i would of had the anxiety then, but now im 29. and im completly healthy, but in my head,(all in my head), it tells me different, i always think somethings wrong with me, thats part of this disorder. we all get sick, nauseous, nervous, scared, worried, fearful, and we isolate ourselves. i can also say with this program it did help me alot. i just finished lesson 4. i too go to school, just quit my last job. (thank god), but give it time. there could be many possabilities why this is happening now. are u and ur boyfriend getting serious, do u guys talk about having a family, hopes and dreams? that could of triggered it. i too think, im unable to have kids, due to my cancer history, but i know god will bless me with children one day, one way or another i will be a mother one day.

but, sit and write out ur thoughts on paper. are u content with where ur life is right now?

take care
angela

Thank you for your responces. I am currently going to a specialist in the cervical field that is world known. His mother actually did the first test tube baby. I saw him 6 months ago and he told me he wasn't remotely worried, which was a wonderful thing to hear. I go back in may to get looked at under the copol. I was fortunate with my progession I had a very small amount infected and that was removed. I am not worried about the fact HPV could burden my ability to have children, its more along the lines of fainting and panic attacks when it comes to doctors in general. Heck, I passed out getting an eye exam. lol.

I find the way things happened amazing. I was at the time on the nuva ring and if it werent for that weekend in IN, I never would have gone to the doctor and found out my OBGYN faulted and I could have cancer at this moment. So anxiety may be a burden at most times, but it did save my life.

My anxiety does not limit my abilities, because I cannot avoid them so I am forced to deal with them. The meds my doctor prescribed, Clonasaphame (spelling is way off i know) I still have half of the two weeks she gave me a year ago. I managed to wean myself off of it, thanks to the help from my father.