Stress Center Peer Support

I have been to a psychologist and psychiatrist and both said I just have anxiety. I've always had a fear of being bipolar (because then I'd have to take medication).

My doctor today . . . just my regular doctor. . . I went in for a checkup and I was feeling anxious so I was sort of rambling and chattering on and on. And he said that he wasn't sure if maybe I was mildly bipolar. I told him I'd been to a psychiatrist and psychologist and they said I was not. So he said . . . well I'm not a psych. . . it's probably just anxiety. Then he used this term I can't remember. . .it wasn't manic. . .but another term like it. . .saying that it was obvious i had all these thoughts at once trying to get them all out. And he said that if I'm like this whenever I'm around people that would be why I'm tired when I get home by myself.

But still. . . why would that be bipolar?

In the end he suggested Lexapro. I've tried that before and I'm not going to try that again. I probably should call and tell them that but I have an appointment in 2 weeks to go over all the 5 vials of blood they took . . . I wish it was sooner.

Anyway. . .pretty frustrating. I'm just going to call this whole thing a speed bump and wait for it to go away. LOL.

He was talking about how he is so sure that I'm miserable a good bit of the time, and that if I'd let him help me, that I'd feel so much better. I told him maybe I could just go to counseling but he was insisting that I have a seratonin imbalance and need medications.

I mean . . . he doesn't know that from a 10 minute conversation. . . it's just so frustrating.

P.S I just remembered that my neighbor with OCD/ANXIETY told me about a really good counselor here in town. I called and they just had a cancellation for tomorrow. So I'm going to see what I think of her.

I have been to a psychologist and psychiatrist and both said I just have anxiety. I've always had a fear of being bipolar (because then I'd have to take medication).

Hi Faith,

I cut the quote because you know what I have the same fear. I know that I am bi-polar. My dad was bi-polar and many of his brothers were bi-polar. Guess what, I do not take meds. I have struggle with suspecting this since I was a kid of 7 years old. I saw some horrible things happen to my Dad, and I saw what the meds did to him. Back then they didn't kow what the heck was wrong with him, or when I was diagnois at 20 with that disorder. They pumped me up full of meds, and it was a horrible experience.

I learned to live with it. I tried to take advantage of the hi side of this disorder and use it to toward some benefit. The feelings are addictive and comparable or better than many illicit drugs. The key for me always was to focus the higher levels of concentration that you can achieve, toward some purposeful thing or task.

Once you know what to fear about it, you can use your mind to extract the benefits. More recently, I was given Abilify to help me cope with the down side that I have been in for quite some time, but for the first time in my life, I have suicidal thoughts. But I had to get off the Abilify because I felt it almost killed me.

I think the reason I have hit the down side and have been here for far too long is because I I felt I could not hit th high side again. It was easy for me to be on the up side when I was young. I would direct that extra sense of energy and power to my athletic endeavors, and I could overload my plate with activities and never grow tired. That is near impossible for me at this stage. Understand?

Don't fear it, embrace it and take full advantage of that competitive edge that it gives you. Many people and doctors fear what they can't grasp or understand. Don't fear it, it can be an awesome friend and the high without drugs is unbeatable.

I can see that you fear it and most doctors in that field are jerks when it comes to this disorder. Diet and exercise are your friend. Eat lots of fish, and take a lot of Omega 3,6,9 oils when you want to mellow out from the rushes and highs.

I have lived with this disorder for over 50 years (I'm 59) and I think life though it has more than its shares of downs, my own understanding of re-directing myself toward the physical can be a really beautiful thing.

As far as the anxiety and panic stuff you are in a good place. At least you have come to recognize and learn that they are just thoughts and you can change thoughts anytime you want. Get some lavender lotion, rub it and enjoy the smells and the relax feeling that it gives, listen to relaxation tapes or music.

Now, stop fretting and go out and have fun living life to the funest, and enjoy every moment that God gives you. Why? Because He wants to enjoy life for yours and His own JOY!

Hugs,


Gman5256

Hi Faith,

One aspect of bipolar can be racing thoughts and over talkativeness. Having a lot of thoughts all at once and trying to get them out could fit the scenario. But I doubt it. Lucinda I noticed at times talks a thousand miles an hour. I can't talk that fast myself, yet I am bipolar and she is not. I have a niece who is like that. AT times she sounds like a disc jockey or an auctioneer she talks so fast. She's not bipolar either. Just a motor mouth. lol I don't think you have anything to be concerned about.

BTW, some people who are bipolar do not have to take medication. Just found out recently. I hope to join those ranks in the near future.

OK that makes sense. You know it's just that . . . well, I guess he assumes I talk that fast and jump from subject to subject all the time. But really it was just I was nervous that they were going to blow me off and give me antidepressant . . . and I wanted to get in all my symptoms in case one of them would help him figure out what was wrong with me.

I've never been a hypochondriac, but I felt like one today giving him my list of symptoms lately. Most of them are on the list of panic symptoms. . .but making sure that it is all really "just" anxiety and not something more. . . I think eventually it's important to do that.

I just want to get the results of those tests though. I wish I didn't have to wait two weeks.

I can see that you fear it and most doctors in that field are jerks when it comes to this disorder. Diet and exercise are your friend. Eat lots of fish, and take a lot of Omega 3,6,9 oils when you want to mellow out from the rushes and highs.
Gman5256

Well, that's the thing. . . I don't get rushes and highs. I'm just sort of hyper and talk fast. Sometimes my thoughts race a bit but I never have periods where I'm awake more than others or anything like that. I really don't think I'm bipolar but I'll mention it to my new counselor tomorrow and see what she thinks.

Nobody in my family has bipolar either.

i have had the vary same fear after someone telling me that on this web site that i could be bipolar cuz i always had racing thoughts and worry. then i was scared for 2 weeks. so then i went on and looked deeply into it after i got really mad at my wife one time and i immediately thought omg im bipolar. after looking into it i can now see the difference from nervous evergy that you had when you went into your doctors to the highs and lows that bipolar has. ironically a friend of ours has bipolar, a mild case of it and he's nothing like you or me. i have went on and researched anxiety more than most and i now have answers to a lot of my own questions like why do we have these certain thoughts or racing thoughts and its because our mind is continuously looking for answers to the way we feel, and we fight and fight. don't you think if we kept on fighting this problem it would already be gone by now. its about doing the total opposite and accept this and realize we cause this problem from our thoughts. when i thought i was bipolar i was completely convinced i was and their was no stopping me, i created that problem myself and i can now sit and share this when i couldn't 2 weeks ago. so i went on and asked craig (the guy with bipolar) who has a mild case of bipolar and he went on describing things like not sleeping for days on end, jumping over tables, thinking he was actually superman, and always changed his name and never worried about if he was bipolar or not just always wanted to do something. he couldnt even sit still on my couch for more that 2 minutes. this isnt us, we always worry and have these questions of what if. myself suffer with a lot of worry and crazy thoughts all the time. but being lost in your own mind at times is just anxiety.

I think what I said about some folks being bipolar but not having to be on meds is a little misleading. That is true, but the overwhelming majority have to be on meds. It's the milder cases that may not warrant meds.

In my view, there is a lot more that goes into a bipolar diagnoses than just fast speech and jumping from topic to topic. Mood swings is usually one of the bigger parts of the puzzle. I'd trust your psychiatrist's and psychologist's opinion.

I don't worry whether I am or am not bipolar. I don't exhibit the classic symptoms such as hallucinations, believing I'm someone I am not [God, a special messenger of God], going for days without sleep, or even mania [usually]. But I do go from normal mood to depressed often, remain in normal mood most of the time but cycle to depressed for a short period of time, then back to normal. I do have problems sleeping, and self esteem seems to be ever shifting from good to poor back to good. It never ends. And one other thing is I've had what I would consider an over active libido since puberty which seems to fit the diagnosis. So, it hasn't been clear to me and still isn't, but I am on another site where there are a number of bipolar folks and I find a lot of similarities in their thinking and experiences compared to mine. So, I think I probably am. And 3 psychiatrists have diagnosed me as bipolar.

Originally posted by Manley:
i have had the vary same fear after someone telling me that on this web site that i could be bipolar cuz i always had racing thoughts and worry. then i was scared for 2 weeks. so then i went on and looked deeply into it after i got really mad at my wife one time and i immediately thought omg im bipolar. after looking into it i can now see the difference from nervous evergy that you had when you went into your doctors to the highs and lows that bipolar has.

Yes that's it. . . I don't really have the lows other than I get tired when I get wound up. . .if that makes sense. I get stessed then get tired and want to sleep.

As for your other comment about us trying to figure things out it's so true. If I'd just stop trying to figure this all out and just live I'd be happier. I've been there, I just need to get back there.

Ironically, this whole thing has made me feel better. It seems to have snapped me out of my OCD loop of worrying about what is wrong. I have to wait 2 weeks for results from bloodwork but I'm sure it's fine.

Now I just have to get out of my head and on with life again.

This episode started when everyone in my family got sick and I spent too much time in the house. . .started going on the comuputer too much. That draws me into my own thoughts too much every time.

Originally posted by Don57:
I don't worry whether I am or am not bipolar. I don't exhibit the classic symptoms such as hallucinations, believing I'm someone I am not [God, a special messenger of God], going for days without sleep, or even mania [usually]. But I do go from normal mood to depressed often, remain in normal mood most of the time but cycle to depressed for a short period of time, then back to normal. I do have problems sleeping, and self esteem seems to be ever shifting from good to poor back to good. It never ends.

Interesting. . .I guess the definition is pretty broad. I sometimes have trouble sleeping too but it's just when I have racing thoughts. Like last night I kept waking up practicing in my head what I was going to tell the doctor to sound "normal" so he wouldn't automatically give me antidepressants. Guess I failed there!