Stress Center Peer Support

This has worried me, and as the months/years pass it confirms my fears even more than my son is going to develop anxiety.

He is 5, Friday was his first day of school, All Friday morning he said "I'm not going to school, I'm scared" etc etc, We got him to school and had to drag him out of the car screaming, He wouldn't leave mummy, she had to stay at school that first day, I mean all the other kids where fine, It brought me back to when I started shcool, I was the exact same.

He has various anxiety producing traits, He is over sensitive, he can have mood swings, he is perfectionistic, he is very shy, I could list more. While he doesn't have anixiety at the min, well maybe separation anxiety he will have it in the future, Watching him is like watching a video of myself.

Any adivice much appreciated? I don't want him to go through what I went through

Celeron, Thank you for your Post. It reminded me of when my sons were little ones. Good memories and the challenges - both!
I used to have many unrealistic expectation of just about everything. And the personality traits that concern you about your son were also things that I had to deal with at times in my life, too.
We all come to parenting the same. All that we know is what we have seen. The rest we have to learn as we as we go.
Since both you and I are on the Stress Center Site, I know we are eager to make changes and improvements - which in turn will also affect our children’s future! Our children learn most of what they will know from watching Us...
Make sure that you steadily improve you own ability to deal mood swings, perfectionism, shyness and separation anx. (Allow your son to progressively do more things on his own).
Celeron, My father died when I was young, so I learned most of my parenting skills from my brief memories of our family life and asking lots of Questions of people around me whom I admired. Your Son is very lucky to have a Father who Loves and cares for him so much! Be patient, I'm sure your Son will learn many things from you and his Mummy to help him deal with the challenges he will surly see in his life. Your Son will do just fine!!! I'm sure this the program site and program has many skills that you, your son, or just about anyone, can use to Live the Good Life. Enjoy Your Son and everyday!
PM me, if you like. I’d love to hear more of you and you son’s adventures. Seadog

Hi there,

Great advice seadog!

I believe my son has some issues with anxiety, just as I do. Who would have thought it could be hereditary. Perhaps it is a learned or acquired behavior.

I have to work hard to portray confidence and reassure my son that things will be OK, when I myself fear new things, new adventures.

My son conquered Kindergarten and we did it together last year. I was so very proud of him and of myself for helping him deal with it.

As first grade approaches he seems very excited and actually cannot wait to go to school. I am probably more anxious about the first day than he is.

I'll keep my head up and hope that I can continue to reassure and not show my own fears, as to not instill any other anxieties in my son.

Do what you can, allow him to explore and do new things. Sometimes I cringe, but I try and let him do what he can and what he wants to do.

Celeron,
Hi I too have a daughter that shows signs of anxiety. I do believe it is hereditary and also a learned behavior. I have tried to do as Lucinda says on the tapes. Try everyday, to tell your son, how special he is, that you are so proud, that he is simply wonderful. Reassure him of all these things, that he can do anything. I think if we just keep reaffirming how wonderful they are this helps to build their self esteem. Remember too in the years ahead you have Lucinda's program right at your fingertips to help you and your son. So you are a step ahead of the game and everything will be fine. Clearly you are a good parent and love him deeply, hang in there. I know it is hard, we don't want them to face the hardships and challenges we have, but with Lucindas program all will be ok.
Lots of Love
Angla

Thanks all for the advice

We are born predisposed to this condition. It is genetic. What you can teach your child is compassion for himself. Teach him early in life the tools he will need. You have those very tools, Celeron, to share. Working with children requires great sensitivity and creativity. You have both. I'm sure you will handle things well. There is nothing to be afraid of. There is only acceptance that is needed here. Embrace your own challenges with it and you will beable to embrace your childs.