Stress Center Peer Support

Last night, before I went to bed, I got a text message from a really great friend I have had since college. She had just gotten a job that pays her twice as much as I make. I am really, really happy for her. Her life seems to be turning out exactly the way she wants it to--great job, a wonderful partner, high hopes for her future. Although I am happy for her, there is a part of me that feels jealous of her because her life has turned out so wonderfully. Jealous because that's what I want for my life, and anxiety/depression/panic/OCD has taken this opportunity away for me for so long. I feel terrible that I feel this way. It makes me depressed. This program needs to hurry up and get here so that I can begin my life again. And maybe one day, it will look exactly like I have dreamed it to be. Now I just have to get over the obsession that I am a terrible, terrible person for feeling/thinking this way about her success. I feel cheated somehow. And it is all that I can think about right now.

Don't beat yourself up. We have all been there. Just right now (cant sleep 4am bleh) i looked up an ex's myspace (i dont even have one so i dunno why i did this) and he has a new girlfriend and seems SOOOOOO happy and he'd been so sad for so long and i wanted him to be happy. . . yet, i feel sad. I have a bf currently and he is good to me so why do i feel sad and frankly, a little jealous of their love?! So i feel you. You will get better on this program and get over things. don't worry. seriously.

It is ok to feel the way you are feeling, you are not a terrible person for it, I think it is human nature for anyone to be a little envious when we see someone else life going so great but dose not mean you don’t wish your friend the very best, you have to stop beating yourself up, I am sure this contributing to your anxiety & depression.

Let me ask you a question if your friend would have won millions of dollars in the lottery would you not be envious, I sure the heck would, dose not make me a bad person just human.

If I had had to guess your anxiety & depression did not happen over night and it will take some time for you to recover. The program is a great start, don’t rush it take your time, and before you no it, your life will be were your friends is.


God Bless,
Debbie

You need to ask yourself-
Do I want her to suffer like me and have her blessings removed?

Or do I just want blessings like she has?

I'm thinking the second answer, which is very very much a normal response from one who suffers with this disorder and feels bad about feeling bad.

You are not a bad person just human.

You need to put into perspective some things. I have been in similar situations where my life is going downhill and I'm doing everything I know to do. Then someone comes along who just coasts and life is great. ????

None of us REALLY knows what's in a person's heart except God. She may have struggles you know NOTHING about. Trust me.

Speak good things over your life and NEVER compare. God has a special plan for your life and He knows your desires. You are like no one else.

Forgive yourself and be kind. The fact this bothers you so much shows you are very self aware and want to do the right thing.

Look forward toward all you will do. Count every blessing and every accomplishment. Nothing is too small in the eyes of God.

HollyJ, DebbieW, kvsdiva: Thanks for all of your support. I appreciate that you all took the time to write a little something. And you are all right! I am human, and kvsdiva, the answer to that question is obviously the second choice. I don't know why I compare myself to other people. I've always done it, and it is a significant source of anxiety. I will overcome this! I know it will take time, but one day, I will wake up and know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing, and loving every minute of it!