Posted: Tue Jun 24, 2008 11:40 pm
I look at my son, I am envious of him. He is only 4, Example being when I have taken him to the park. He runs on in and within minutes has made friends with the other boys and girls and is quite happy and content, while I stand there feeling very uneasy with the other parents feeling I should say something to make conversation but have a blank mind Can you relate to that?
At work it has taken me the guts of 2 years to talk with my work mates, and in saying that I only talk to about 5 out of 50 and the 5 I do talk to we aren't friends and any talking we do is about work. They all get on well with the boss, almost like they are best friends, they buy each other coffee's etc, I am not scared as such of the boss, just feel very intimidated or uneasy around him, and its always that way with people in authority.
Or even in family life, at family get together, Say for instance weddings etc is generally a very quiet and unpleasant affair for me. I mean cousins etc that I used to love to see as a child and had great fun with I can now no longer talk to, I just have a blank mind and am left standing there feeling very uneasy. Or my partners family, You watch programmes on TV etc and there is the brother in law getting on with the brother like they are best friends, It couldn't be more opposite in my situation, I the 10 years or so that I have been with my partner I've never more than said "Hi" to any of my partners family, I kid u not.
In all odds I would say I have a better chance of winning the lotto than making any friends, How has this changed so much from when I was a child, I was like my son, I could run on into the playground and make friends no problem. Somewhere along the line It has changed, I have developed a fear or something of people. And while I am able to manage a "Hi, How are you" to guys I can't even say hello to a female
Hopefully some of you can relate somewhat to my dribble. Lucinda doesn't mention anything like this in the CD's, and to be honest I've never heard a more confident/outgoing woman than Lucinda, and I very much doubt she has had any problem with social anxiety.
At work it has taken me the guts of 2 years to talk with my work mates, and in saying that I only talk to about 5 out of 50 and the 5 I do talk to we aren't friends and any talking we do is about work. They all get on well with the boss, almost like they are best friends, they buy each other coffee's etc, I am not scared as such of the boss, just feel very intimidated or uneasy around him, and its always that way with people in authority.
Or even in family life, at family get together, Say for instance weddings etc is generally a very quiet and unpleasant affair for me. I mean cousins etc that I used to love to see as a child and had great fun with I can now no longer talk to, I just have a blank mind and am left standing there feeling very uneasy. Or my partners family, You watch programmes on TV etc and there is the brother in law getting on with the brother like they are best friends, It couldn't be more opposite in my situation, I the 10 years or so that I have been with my partner I've never more than said "Hi" to any of my partners family, I kid u not.
In all odds I would say I have a better chance of winning the lotto than making any friends, How has this changed so much from when I was a child, I was like my son, I could run on into the playground and make friends no problem. Somewhere along the line It has changed, I have developed a fear or something of people. And while I am able to manage a "Hi, How are you" to guys I can't even say hello to a female
Hopefully some of you can relate somewhat to my dribble. Lucinda doesn't mention anything like this in the CD's, and to be honest I've never heard a more confident/outgoing woman than Lucinda, and I very much doubt she has had any problem with social anxiety.