Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone,
I need help with writing down negative thoughts. I've never done this and feel maybe I missed out on getting past this part. How many times do you write, what if your driving, or with people, etc., do you just remember later? I know everyone says write all your thoughts down, then later on that day (I think?) write a positive replacement thought. Anyone with positive outcomes, I would love to hear from, sometimes I get so scared with these thoughts. Also, I'm not understanding how this process works, it seems if you're constantly writing down negative thoughts, thats all you're going to think about, like its just keeping these darn thoughts alive. Please, any help would be appreciated. Suzzie

Hey Suzzie...

Every thought? Heavens no...you would be writing all day! I had this same prob..because of the perfectionistic attitude, I wanted to make sure I did it perfectly and followed the "formula."

You won't get EVERY thought...just do as many as you can. One thing you will probably notice is that there are core thoughts/fears that are recurring...

Keep a little pad, or even a mini tape recorder. Write these down, and then combat them with realistic positive thoughts. It doesn't take very long if you put a lot of effort into this to see positive changes..however, you do have to focus on this for a while to have LASTING change because this is such a habit.

No, it is not bad to look at the negative you are thinking about. It is kind of the same concept as the panic attacks...if you face them, confront them...allow yourself to feel the fear and sensations, they come less and less. Fighting them is what makes them stay.

If you openly and frankly look at the negative thoughts and then replace them, you will "disarm" them, also, you will see how realistic these things are! (Which is usually not very.)

Hope this helps...our thoughts are the KEY to what manifests in our lives.

As a man thinketh in his heart...so is he.

Thank you so much. Its much more clear now as to what I'm supposed to do. This morning I wrote around 15 negative thoughts, then I decided to take myself to lunch. I took my time at lunch and replaced all of them with positive and comforting thoughts. The evenings are alittle harder for me because my husband is home with me and I like to spend time with him, also I'm kind of private about alot of thoughts. You have really helped, thanks again. Suzzie

Coming up with believable realistic positive replies to a lot of my negative thoughts sometimes took quite a while. If I couldn't think of a good positive reply right away I would just leave them there in the journal and go over them again a few days later. I found that being as specific as I could possibly be helped me the most. I also found that journalling just positive events and situations in my life also helped because it got me to see that all is not bad, and all is not negative and we tend to forget this. (the mental filtering thing). So I say, journal everything! The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I too am just starting to do the neg. thoughts thing.I bought a little pad and have been writing down my main negative thoughts that i have that day and believe me i think of the same neg. thoughts all day so sometimes im like WAIT do i have to write down that same thought again because I already write it down??!! I still dont understand how this will helo with my recovery but im doing it anyway. Also, the positive realistic replies I am doing I sometimes dont really believe because I am that negative and doubtful )-: so do I still write it down even if i dont believe it at the time??

Thank you Frances L & Mary Wargo. This advice helps me alot. I had a hard time eith session (listened to it about 10 times before moving on) Your words are realistic and spot on.

Holly,

If you have negative thoughts that occur regularly I would say those are the most worrisome to you. I wouldn't write it down each time, maybe put a little check by it with the date to see how often you are focusing on this particular thought. Then of course, read out loud as often as you can the positive statements that you write for that thought each time you can after thinking it.

For these particular thoughts, I write as many positive combating statements as possible, not just one or two.

It is TOTALLY normal not to believe your positive thoughts, sometimes for a little while with the negative ones that are really engrained. It takes time for your mind to "receive it" so to speak.
The more you focus on a particular negative thought over and over again, the more real it is to you, so the longer it takes to begin to believe the opposite. When writing the positive thoughts, make sure you are writing things that are realistic...such as:

Negative: I am never going to get over this and live a normal life.
You may not believe it if you write: Of course I will get over this.
You could try:
I FEEL like I am never going to get over this, but I know that feelings aren't reality. Other people have overcome this, some that were worse off than me, which means there is hope for me even though I don't FEEL like it right now. It may take some time, but the longer I work the easier it will get. I know this is true because I have seen progress in "x" area over time, so things are getting better. I don't know how or when it will happen, but each day I am stronger and stronger and if I have a growth spurt, that is normal. The other people who have overcome this have had growth spurts and it is actually part of recovery.

Anyway. I think I saw on one of your posts that you are not a Christian, or maybe you are but in a different sense? I can't remember. I don't want to seem like I am preaching, but I will say that the Bible does talk about these thoughts...the ones that get down in your core and become an actual BELIEF and govern you. In the Bible they are called "strongholds." It is a very interesting study if you wanted to look into it. (I don't push my beliefs on anyone, I just put things out there and don't judge others if they chose not to believe the same way as I do.)

There is a book by Joyce Meyers called "The Battlefield of the Mind." This is very interesting. There is also a particular pastor (Gregory Dickow) that preaches regularly about our thoughts, and what the Bible says about them. You would be amazed about what God says in the Bible to do about this problem. Pastor Dickow actually has a thing going on right now about fasting...but instead of fasting from food...it's a fast from wrong thinking! He focuses on this a lot because it is so important and profound. You could look up his website and watch some of his teaching...very interesting.

Anyway...another thing I would do is go to the bookstore and pull out all the books on overcoming anxiety. Skim through them. Look for ones that show A LOT of actual examples of the negative thoughts and how to combat them with believable thoughts.
I experienced a break through when I realized the combating thoughts I was writing didn't help me because I wasn't writing a positive that I actually made me feel better or was somewhat believable. I was just writing the extreme opposite of the negative. If you are having this problem, perhaps learning HOW to combat the negative with the positive is the ingredient you are missing.
I bought a book with several different scenarios and negative thoughts and their positive replacement thoughts. When I did, this part of the program hit home and the light bulb went off!

Again, your post really helped me a lot!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you have no idea

FrancesL,
In your post to Holly, you mentioned a book you bought, that had different senerios of negative and positives. Do you remember the title? I'd like to get one. Thanks, Suzzie

Suzzie,

I will also send this to you privately incase you don't come back to this post.

I had a couple, the only one I could find that I still had when I started going through this again is: Embracing the Fear: Learning to Manage Anxiety and Panic Attacks. By Judith Bemis, Amr Barrada.

Sometimes I during a panic attack, I would just pull out this books and start reading these, it was a huge help. Especially when the thoughts were racing so fast I couldn't get a grip long enough to think logically in order to counter them myself. I can't remember the others I originally had.