Stress Center Peer Support

This has to be the one anxiety symptom that always trips me up.

I haven't posted much about my progress since joining this forum. At the time I had just started the course and was getting little victories. I have since then made much bigger leaps and have completed all 15 lesson (I'm going to start again now; as many times as necessary).

I've been going out fairly regularly: I've been into the town centre; the library; I queued for the checkout in a shop and then queued again because it seemed so small a thing when I paid for the first purchase; I've been out of my home town a few times on my motorbike; I've gone to join in playing drums at two jam sessions (hadn't played since 89, last gig)...

On Saturday I had the second jam session which went really well. I came home afterwards (I left because I got bored, rather than because I was anxious). An hour or so later I rode out to my older brother's house to take his birthday card. I hadn't been there since 1996.

Riding back I was really anxious. I tried breathing slowly and deeply. It got worse as I came down towards a roundabout. A woman on a bicycle pulled out onto it and I had to brake pretty hard (I'd begun to pull the throttle back harder as I caught sight of the roundabout). She must've known I would get there ahead of her, but she continued. She did have right of way though. Three cars followed her out, so I had to join the back of the queue.

It was about a quarter of a mile to the end of the road. I considered overtaking, but as it was a 30mph speed limit and I would have to get up to around 60 or 70 to pass them all on a blind bend, I decided it was too risky. Actually, the way I was feeling, I would probably have gone for it 6 months ago!

I was having great difficulty in swallowing. My mouth was dry (understandably) and I was very aware of my throat. It's like a compulsion. I kept having to try; which is more like gulping than swallowing. It's like the muscles rebel. By the time I got to the end of the road I was close on full-blown panic. I had thought about pulling over and taking a sip of water from the bottle I carry; but that would've meant taking my helmet off. I had checked my mirrors and saw a coach was pulling out behind me, so had I stopped I wouldn've been stuck behind it.

At the end of the road I was trying to decide which way to turn. I could go either way to my house. The cars in front went left, so at the last moment I decided to go right, which was the shorter route. I went over the mini-roundabout, rather than round it. I hadn't even indicated and there were cars at both other entrances.

When I got home I was still trying to swallow. I got off my bike and opened the garage. I put the bottle on the drive and went back to ride my bike into the garage. I didn't take a drink. I was trying not to, as I wanted to try to beat the symptom in a reasonably safe (perceptually speaking) environment. I had a drink when I got in the house.

Does anyone have any suggestions about how I could've handled this differently? How I could have managed the symptom and calmed it...

Originally posted by AMANDAJ:
Keeping trying to quit and believe that you can. Quit cold turkey or try to cut back a little at a time until you stop all together. You will quit when you are very determined to do so. Keep up the good work.

AmandaJ

Hi Amanda,

Thanks for your post; but you don't seem to be answering mine. It's not a question of quitting. I'm not talking about smoking. I was asking for suggestions about how to deal with this symptom.

I can only assume that either you've answered the wrong post; you merely scanned it before answering or didn't read it at all.

Hey,
You need to really work on self talk. When you feel these symptoms coming on you have to stop them right away and tell yourself I am ok and I am going to be ok this is only anxiety. I know how you feel. I had to pull over on a busy interstate because of these symptoms one day and the only way to talk myself down is possitive dialogue. It will come with time you just need to practice it. You are doing well and you will get there.

Originally posted by Ashlynn:
Hey,
You need to really work on self talk. When you feel these symptoms coming on you have to stop them right away and tell yourself I am ok and I am going to be ok this is only anxiety. I know how you feel. I had to pull over on a busy interstate because of these symptoms one day and the only way to talk myself down is possitive dialogue. It will come with time you just need to practice it. You are doing well and you will get there.

Hi Ashlynn,

Thanks for replying. I have used positive self talk a lot in the past and it's helped enormously. This one symptom is just so distressing. I do get what you mean. I just wondered if there was some way of minimising this particular symptom. I know other people have had similar symptoms. Someone recommended chewing gum...

Hi Andrew,

Read your post and was struck by the similarities between your symptomatic experiences and my own. It's nice to know I'm not alone but then of course I'd never wish this upon anyone else.

I congratulate you on getting out and about. I was out yesterday myself and had a great day while on Saturday I felt so focused on my anxious symptoms I barely left the house. Nothing is more freeing than pushing through this fear of fear and using our energies in more productive ways.

One example is where we went to the other side of the city to visit a furniture store. I was tense-feeling on the way there and when we arrived I felt certain 'peaks and valleys' with my symptoms. Soon I was so engrossed in the fabric choices for our new chairs I forgot about anything else. Sitting on a couch I literally almost fell asleep and the sales lady told me I was making her tired. lol

I know what you mean about focusing too much on one symptom, such as your throat area. At times I have felt choking-like sensations and dryness of the mouth. Of course these are just manifestations of our basic stress troubles and I've been taught to not pay them so much importance. They always pass away from us as do our panic & anxiety symptoms. The best thing you can do is to float with the symptoms no matter how dire they seem. Nothing terrible is going to happen- it is just discomfort. Focusing on the discomfort (no matter what form it takes) only increases the anxiety spiral. When you float and accept it, no matter what, it starts to lose steam on you. This happens because you are no longer 'using gasoline to put out the fire'. Pushing ahead with the discomfort, accepting it, and using comforting self-talk is the way to diffuse this. The more you push out there and do this the better you get at it and the less of a role anxiety and it's accompanying symptoms play.

As for your actions it sounds to me you did very well. Even if you had to stop to take a drink and relax that would have been o.k. too. The important thing is to not stop getting out there and practicing with what you know how to do. In time it really does get better! Best of luck to you!

Hey Sparkus,

Thanks for your thoughtful response.

I agree that it is best to try to ignore the symptom and tell ourselves it is merely anxiety, and I'm sure this will come with time; but on Saturday it was all-consuming and absolute. I do feel I did well though, and that I took something positive by not doing anything about it when I could have.

I'm going to go out again tomorrow and see what happens. If it comes again I'll deal with it as best I can. I kind of hope it does, rather than turn up later on (although I'll be more confident then too; so either way...

Thanks again!

Andrew

Hey Andrew,
I think you did awesome don't forget to praise yourself for even going and doing it. You went out you kept going even when your symptoms were getting stronger. You are starting to live again big time as I see it back playing drums, going to your brothers after like 10 years. Good for you and I think you did great handling your symptoms too you never gave in to them so praise yourself for a job well done my friend. Some day's I know the body symptoms are so strong my main symptom is dizziness so I understand sometimes they get the better of us, but seriously that really wasn't the case with you, I think you did an awesome job.
Take care
Mimi

Thanks Mimigirl,

I remember you. We've commented on one another's posts before. Nice to hear from you again.

I appreciate your thoughts.

Andrew, I think you did awesome things over the weekend. The Iis what I am learning to do with my painful anxiety symptoms.

Andrew - Always give yourself options. Have a way out on your next trip out.

You could have also stopped right where you were and had the attack. The anxious mind wants to rush (and you may not have been rushing on the road but I know your body was rushing inside.) You just wanted to get home. This is your safe place and a perfectly natural place for you to want to be.

Stop next time and have the attack. Sip some water if you want or don't, whichever you can do is fine. Use soothing self talk. Tell yourself you are having an anxiety attack and it's OK. Not a big deal. I'll have it and then I'll head on home. Use your STOP sign to stop any further thoughts from coming in. Then add your calm breath work and then focus on something you can touch, see, smell - don't get caught up in your thoughts. Continually use your breath until you feel yourself calming down. (And, you will calm down with the breath.)

Another approach would be to tell yourself the following:

"Oh, I feel anxious. Not sure why but it's Ok. I'm almost to (wherever you are going). Let's go ahead and wait until we get there and then if you still have to have the attack you can go ahead and have it there." (You are talking to your inner child here.) Postponing an attack is a wonderful way to not have it at all. You are making it OK to have. (This is letting go of resistance.) You will start to calm down immediately. Now when you get to your location check in with yourself. Ask yourself if you still need the attack? (I already know that answer will be no.) Pat yourself on the back for handling that situation really well. Remember, it's not about not having anxiety. It's about knowing you can handle it when it comes. You can calm yourself down immediately when you let go of the resistance to it.