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Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:12 pm
by mykoffeekup
I have carried my anxiety into every relationship I have been in. What kind of pattern is this and why am I doing it? I start out with everything being great and I have high hopes and then I get a thought 3-4 months into the relationship and the anxiety starts up and then I start second guessing everything I have done that made sense and got me to that point.
Any ideas?
Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:14 pm
by cindylou
God knows why we do that to ourselves... Why isn't really important though, removing the action and reaction is. I am relaxed and easy going early in a relationship and scare myself out of the comfort by worrying about if I'm good enough for her, if she's the "one", if this is forever, if, if, if! I have covered up my real personality and changed to be what I think the other person wants and needs, leaving myself dissatisfied and unhappy as a result.
Trust yourself and be true to yourself. If you meet someone on those terms, chances are that any relationship resulting would have a chance. Hope this helps...
Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 1:17 pm
by lost_1
Oh, by the way... Consider yourself fortunate. It takes me so long to get back on an even keel, I have a very difficult time trying again.
Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 7:29 am
by Guest
How about self esteem based upon a "shifting" (not stable) source? Maybe it's based upon performance rather than unconditional love and acceptance of yourself? Just a guess. Seeking self love, self esteem, filling up that empty resorvoir inside of us, from a relationship and the other person doesn't work very well. Security and self love have to come from within us whether it's faith in ourselves or in a higher power.
Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 5:47 pm
by Guest
Amen Brother... and very well stated as well.