I hate ROADBLOCKS!!

[DMP720]

Hey everyone.

So the past two weeks I have been totally beside myself. Irritable, mood swingy, anxious, and having bad thoughts like i use too.


This past week after hearing about that actress Britnay Murphy died of "heart problems" my anxiety is going at high speed. I keep freaking out like its going to happen to me too!!! They said in some reports that she had a heart murmur or something and i do too..and now im like..is my doctor not telling me this could happen to me ect.....

I keep reliving fears that something is wrong with my heart...that the doctors missed something...I just had a stress test done exactly a year ago and it came back clear.ahh I just cant get my mind off of it,, I feel like i cannot focus at work or at home.. I just want to sit and mope and google(one of my old bad habits)

I also have been going through some big changes lately.

For all that do not know, I got married Nov 27 which was THE happiest day of my life Which wasnt a HUGE change because I have been living with my husband for 3 years prior to our marriage.

I also started a new job in the mix of things ( have been there for over a month now.) Im actually back in my career ( hairdresser) after taking 3 years off due to anxiety.

I guess I am just scared that things are finally settling and my life is normalizing out. Is that why I keep having these obsessive scary thoughts again??

I really just need some encouragement I know I came to the right place

thanks everyone

Dena

[Guest]

As soon as I saw the headline about Miss Murphy dying of "sudden cardiac death" I knew this could be potential trouble for me, too.

Like you, I've had a clear cardiac work up but can't seem to get the thought out of my mind that they missed something.

And, btw, CONGRATULATIONS on all the big changes you've just gone through! And all of them so positive! Living together or not, getting married, just the process of the wedding, is a huge stressor. Albeit, a happy one but stressful none the less. And, now you are back at work, too? Way to go, girl! Now, seeing all that you've just been through and Miss Murphy's odd death, are you really surprised that your anxiety has latched on to this? Back off from it a little and see the thoughts for what they are... just thoughts. Don't get all wrapped up in the content. I, too, love to consult "Dr. Google" And, I know when I do that it is a complusion and that it isn't good for me. Most of the time I am able to stop.

One thing about Miss Murphy... she was WAY skinny... like anorexic. Not good for the ole ticker. Also, and I hate to stereotype, but a Hollywood actress dropping dead? Hmmmmm... hope it isn't drugs but the likelihood is high. And you know what? If it is some wierd anomaly, then it is just some wierd anomaly. It was her heart, not ours. Next time you see it pop up online or on TV just get away from it.

When I am overstressed and scared about other stuff my heart is the very first thing my anxiety starts on. I have been struggling with it for the last couple of weeks. Had some scary thoughts just this morning over it. It helps me to realize that these thoughts are just a symptom of anxiety and should not be taken seriously.

Now, if I were you, I would get royally teed off that anxiety is trying to rob you of the hard earned pride you could be feeling over getting your life back.

Hope you have an aweseome Christmas!