Stress Center Peer Support

Hello,

I guess I sometimes have a difficult time standing up for myself. This problem came up in my previous relationship and I know my boyfriend had a hard time seeing me feel like I couldn't say no to family. This became a delicate situation because then I felt sort of pinned between him and my family. It normally came down to my parent's asking me to housesit. They would ask, but really it felt like they were telling me. Because if I said no, they would act all hurt and that would make me feel super guilty. And of course, I love to help them out but I think deep down I also felt obliged. Like if I didn't, I would be letting them down. So I guess I'm trying to find a healthy balance, how do I achieve that. Is it wrong to say no, even if I don't have kids or other big things going on with my life?

I went to see my parents today after work. They are both in their 80's. By the sound of it, your parents are much younger. When I was younger, I was trying to get a balance going between family, friends, work and me. As I got older, I realized that there is nothing more important than family. Maybe your parents have no one else to turn to. If my folks were to ask me to house sit, I wouldn't have a problem with that. There should be no reason why you have to feel pinned between your boyfriend and your parents. As I watch my folks get older, I realize that they need me now more than ever and I will always be there for them, no matter what. Even though I help my folks out, I always find time for the other people as well.