Since August i started getting this feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever i had to do something alone and that scared me so much, i felt what if i get a bad panic attack who is going to deal with it with me. Strangers are going to look at me like a crazy person. What beats me is that we know what is rational and we still let our fears or scary thoughts take over, its like we lost trust in our strong side, or ourselves for that matter.
I am at home right now and was crying because, ever since my sister is perusing her dream more than ever she is constantly out and whenever she is a bit stuck at home because of me she sure has a way of telling me what kind of hell this is for her, that she needs to babysit me.
I feel so alone, i dont know my neighbors and my family lives in europe. I dont have many friends most of them moved out of state and this bothers me. i am use to having a lot of friends. I never made friends with anyone in my building and when i am home by myself i feel so lonely and then i get this feeling in my throat like a bubble or when you get phlegm and i start breathing hard and then the thoughts come and i was doing better but then a friend of mine died and all the thoughts about death and being alone alot and seeing my sister doing what she wants and me not huh, and i cant have a heart to heart with her, she just doesnt know how to be there for me, other people sure but not me. I just wish i had someone close by just to know they are there to feel ok by myself in my own house so i dont need to hear of feel what a big burden i am to my sister or my boyfriend. I am praying right now to become self efficient. If anyone is from NYC in here and is looking to support one another, write me back please. Strangers are kinder than family sometimes.
I feel so alone and unsupported. i need a boost of great energy.
I am so scared to face my fears as if i am going to choke and not be able to breath, i know it is so absurd. I just wish i had someone there to help me face my fears and not force me like my sister and boyfriend.
Sorry for all the rumble but huh this is hard sometimes.
Feeling so alone
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Guest
Hi-
I'm sorry you are feeling bad. I'll send a computer hug your way.
Have you ever volunteered for anything? I find that serving someone else and getting the focus off me is very helpful. Plus, you meet new people and they become friends.
When your mind gets cranked, just say STOP and close your eyes and breathe from your belly, not your shoulders. It will slow you down and you'll calm.
Take care.
I'm sorry you are feeling bad. I'll send a computer hug your way.
Have you ever volunteered for anything? I find that serving someone else and getting the focus off me is very helpful. Plus, you meet new people and they become friends.
When your mind gets cranked, just say STOP and close your eyes and breathe from your belly, not your shoulders. It will slow you down and you'll calm.
Take care.
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Guest
minanyc -
The truth is that you don't need anyone to take care of you during a panic attack. That's one of the worst tricks your mind is plays on you. You are fully capable of handling anxiety wherever you are and whomever you are with, and that especially includes just yourself!
You don't need someone to "deal with you" when you're anxious. You are you own safe person and you are your own safe place. Nobody else can stop a panic attack for you. Only you have that control. Really ask yourself this; what is your sister or anyone else going to do to prevent your anxiety? The answer is nothing. There isn't really anything they could do. They are just a distraction to help you cope.
I'm dealing with a very similar issue right now and I really wish I had handled it differently. I've become very dependent on my safe person and now I'm having to dig myself out of that hole. I'm having to learn to trust myself. I really encourage you to stop relying on others to get you through your panic because it only makes your recovery more difficult when you have to wean yourself away.
Instead, bring people into your life for enjoyment and companionship, not because you have the perception that you need them to ward of your anxieties.
Best of luck to you,
Jamie
The truth is that you don't need anyone to take care of you during a panic attack. That's one of the worst tricks your mind is plays on you. You are fully capable of handling anxiety wherever you are and whomever you are with, and that especially includes just yourself!
You don't need someone to "deal with you" when you're anxious. You are you own safe person and you are your own safe place. Nobody else can stop a panic attack for you. Only you have that control. Really ask yourself this; what is your sister or anyone else going to do to prevent your anxiety? The answer is nothing. There isn't really anything they could do. They are just a distraction to help you cope.
I'm dealing with a very similar issue right now and I really wish I had handled it differently. I've become very dependent on my safe person and now I'm having to dig myself out of that hole. I'm having to learn to trust myself. I really encourage you to stop relying on others to get you through your panic because it only makes your recovery more difficult when you have to wean yourself away.
Instead, bring people into your life for enjoyment and companionship, not because you have the perception that you need them to ward of your anxieties.
Best of luck to you,
Jamie
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Guest
Hey, don't feel bad, your not alone, this community is full of people like you and I who have anxiety and feel alone, And you can also feel alone even if there were people in the house. One person wrote she felt really alone even though her husband and kids were in the house b/c they didn't understand what she was going through.
First do a search under "find" for some of the physical symptoms your having "choking" etc. Read others stories, and you'll find yourself in them. And what has helped them.
Also new runner gave excellant advice, if you want a friend, you have to be a friend, serving others does get you out of your head, and puts things in better perspective. Also find a good church, always nice people, safe place to volunteer. Also do you have the program? If not a counselor may be a good inital boost towards self sufficent as you say. While I think you mean you just want to be comfortable being alone, cause no man is an island, we all need people, an want to be needed, kinda loops back around to volunteering, take a class, find a hobby, go for a walk, get a part time job. All these things have potential for new friendships. Plus you always have us, peer support in Stress ctr. 24/7, type away at 3am, you'll never be a burden to us. Big cyber hug, much peace and prayers, for you tonite, hope your evening is a blessed one. Amber
First do a search under "find" for some of the physical symptoms your having "choking" etc. Read others stories, and you'll find yourself in them. And what has helped them.
Also new runner gave excellant advice, if you want a friend, you have to be a friend, serving others does get you out of your head, and puts things in better perspective. Also find a good church, always nice people, safe place to volunteer. Also do you have the program? If not a counselor may be a good inital boost towards self sufficent as you say. While I think you mean you just want to be comfortable being alone, cause no man is an island, we all need people, an want to be needed, kinda loops back around to volunteering, take a class, find a hobby, go for a walk, get a part time job. All these things have potential for new friendships. Plus you always have us, peer support in Stress ctr. 24/7, type away at 3am, you'll never be a burden to us. Big cyber hug, much peace and prayers, for you tonite, hope your evening is a blessed one. Amber
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Guest
You say you have no friends. You will have friends here if you give it a chance. Go on chat also and don't be afraid to talk about your feelings. Get into the funny things too. It will get your mind off yourself and your problems. About your sis, yeah, sometimes family can be the hardest to deal with. Do you attend church? The family of God is great when you find a church you like. We're family here too so here's a big (((((((((Hug))))))))) 
Barb
Barb
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thank you guys for such great support i have been here before and i think what is bothering me is that last time was just as bad but it was the first time i did the program, 8 years ago and after 2 months i got over it and didn't deal with it for a long time, until now.
I just dont understand why cant i trust myself when i say these are just thoughts.
And this time around the anxiety is different,and i dont know why am i thinking this time it wont go away, i know it can like it did last time i just have to take action, why am i so scared.
I do have the program but it was so much work that i stoped and it made me more anxious.
I am going to a holistic doctor and talk therapist, i dont belive in medication because last time i got over it.
It is such good feeling to get such understanding from you.
God bless you all and happy holidays
I just dont understand why cant i trust myself when i say these are just thoughts.
And this time around the anxiety is different,and i dont know why am i thinking this time it wont go away, i know it can like it did last time i just have to take action, why am i so scared.
I do have the program but it was so much work that i stoped and it made me more anxious.
I am going to a holistic doctor and talk therapist, i dont belive in medication because last time i got over it.
It is such good feeling to get such understanding from you.
God bless you all and happy holidays
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Guest
I agree with you. The program is a lot of work. Feel free to not do it all but if you hadn't completed it before be sure to listen at least to each CD. Also look at the forums on that particular lesson. The homework, journaling etc. can become too much. You will have to decide what you're able to do. Just do something each day. When you struggle with an issue go to "Find" and type in whatever it is. You will find many helpful comments.
Like you said, you got help before. I know you will once again. This is more important to work on this right now because as the holidays approach things become more stressful. Remember, we're here for you so especially when you think you can't do all the parts of the program, talk about it here.
Good choice of getting thru this without medication. In case you do struggle don't be concerned to take a little for anxiety especially thru the holidays. If you don't have to, great but some of us, myself included really need a med to help us thru. God bless you and remember we are here for you.
Barb
Like you said, you got help before. I know you will once again. This is more important to work on this right now because as the holidays approach things become more stressful. Remember, we're here for you so especially when you think you can't do all the parts of the program, talk about it here.
Good choice of getting thru this without medication. In case you do struggle don't be concerned to take a little for anxiety especially thru the holidays. If you don't have to, great but some of us, myself included really need a med to help us thru. God bless you and remember we are here for you.
Barb
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Guest
You just need to keep taking baby steps and live each day. You are doing things to help yourself--going to a therapist and holistic doctor. Be proud of yourself for that. These people on the site have given you good advice. We are all in this together and I truly believe we can all get better together. You just have to be totally stubborn and believe in YOURSELF. Don't worry about other people and what they think about you. They don't have a clue what this condition is really like.
Remeber that Lucinda talked about growth spurts on # 15 and said they are just practice opportunities. Well, they are not very pleasant practice opportunities, but life isn't always the way we want it to be. You have done it once and that tells me you have it in you to do it again.
Just know that you have somebody from a suburb of Memphis rooting for you. I know you can do it!!! If I were in New York, I would definitely get together with you.
Remeber that Lucinda talked about growth spurts on # 15 and said they are just practice opportunities. Well, they are not very pleasant practice opportunities, but life isn't always the way we want it to be. You have done it once and that tells me you have it in you to do it again.
Just know that you have somebody from a suburb of Memphis rooting for you. I know you can do it!!! If I were in New York, I would definitely get together with you.
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Guest