Stress Center Peer Support

hi..my name is natalie im 26. I suffered with anxiety for a loooong time but I am able to control that a lot better now. However i think due to my anxiety I have a lot of emotional problems and I get very very attached to people including boyfriends. I have been dating this guy for almost 3 years and honestly it has never been a great relationship other then the first few months. Hes not the best guy he doesn't have very many feelings and it just hasn't worked out. When I am with him I know he isn't the one and I am not happy but the last thing in the world I think I am capable of is ending it. Since I am such an emotional and attached person it is soo hard for me. well he finally got tired of everythign and ended it for me (this hasnt been the first time). But this time i feel like I HAVE TO LET GO and really move on. BUT it feels almost impossible!! LITERALLY it gets so hard. I start getting sad and THINK im missing him and need him and want him (which when i AM with him I dont even want him ) and ill call and text him alllll day to where he gets so mad at me, I haven't been eating or stop crying. and the thing is, it wasn't even a good relationship and I wasn't even happy with him and i know i dont wanna waste nemore of my time if its not real love but i dont feel like i can let go of my separation with him..can someone please help

Natalie,

You are obsessing over him. Go back over lesson 10 again. If we weren't obsessive, we wouldn't have anxiety. You need to start telling yourself that this is really a positive thing for you because it sounds like, by your own admission, that it was not a good relationship for you. You need to get your mind onto thinking about other things, as Lucinda says, get busy and distract yourself. I know it is much easier said than done. I obsess too and almost feel like a hypocrite telling you this because I have a hard time stopping obsessing, but I know it is right.

Natalie,

I think it would help you to read a post by Ms T bones called The Awakening. It pretty much sums up our program and writes down, in black and white, what healthy living is about. Please give it a read and see if it doesn't resonate with you.

Natalie.....I was in the same spot you are...except my boyfriend was 14 years older than I. I was 26 he was 40. He was a police officer and I was an EMT. We met through a mutual friend. I got so attached to him and wondered why. I felt like I depended on him. He wasnt extremely goodlooking, But I thought he was SEXY. I fell in and out of love because of his unattached feelings he seemed to have toward me..I was a basket case...I was however wrong....Even though we have separated from our LOVE relationship we have remaind the bestest friends in the world. He is there whenever I need him. He is a a true blue friend. We have a different love now...and we share so much more than sex.
I went though so much emotional turmoil because I WAS in love with him. But he seemed so distant. I didnt know if he felt that way toward me. He had been divorced and hurt so he was careful I guess. I have come to understand that sometimes deep deep down under people HAVE feelings and have a tough time expressing them.
If your relationship is meant to be...you will stay friends. Although Society says this cannot happen after a relationship..... I dont follow the Herd....go with your gut feelings. Talking helps alot, but that could be straining. I hope I helped a bit. creamcheese

Imam new here but I know exactly what yer goin through it sounds like me about 10myears ago. it is obsessive and u dont need him . all he will do honey is tear is tear u down more and make u feel worse about yerself cuse u know he gets mad at u for bugging him over and over. Same exact thing I did. best thing is to try to find someone else or diversify yer attention on tomsomehing else or hhe will detroy U. my ex did me and I go through alot now because of it move on honey U deserve better foget he even exists. Umwillmget over him hes not goodmfor u sweety.