Stress Center Peer Support

So a few weeks ago I faced my biggest fear...went through the wall...and went on my first real date.

Then...I went through another wall...the second date.

Again...the third date.

And then he kissed me. It was so sweet. Just a little kiss after we said goodbye. And as I walked away I thought, No one has kissed me in years. I haven't been kissed in years. The thought echoing through my head was just elating and sad all at the same time.

I haven't completely freaked out. I haven't even had a hot flash and that is WOW huge. I said to my best friend that I thought -- Who is this woman and what has she done with the other me?

But I'm kind of worried that I am going to freak, I guess because thats habit.

I'm scared that I will have to make some kind of committment, or some choice soon that I don't want to. But I couldn't exactly tell you what that is. Maybe taking the next step, whatever that means.

So far I have kept my guard up, not totally, but somewhat...and I'm not ready to put that down totally.

And I am scared of change. Even though this has been so far so good.

So I guess that I am just feeling a little wary and could use a little encouragment to keep moving forward even if I get a little anxious.

Lilsismj

Congrats to you for going through with the date and three times and a kiss. Great Job! Its not a bad thing to keep your guard up that way you don't get hurt, but make sure you don't guard yourself so much that you won't even give it a go when you are ready. I would suggest telling this guy if you like him (which three dates I am pretty sure you do) that you want to take things slow. He will understand if he really cares about how you feel. Don't be scared of the change (I know that isn't always easy) but look at it as a new adventure and you will probably be alot happier with company from someone that cares about you and your well being. Keep moving forward I am sure that you will get more comfortable around this person and you will be able to slowly let your guard down so that you can really get to know eachother. I say "Go for it" you will never know unless you try. You sound really happy on the post and it is okay to be a little nervous about the beginning of a potential relationship so just keep moving forward, you have done amazing so far. Best wishes

Jennifier

Thank you so much for the encouragement. I had a funny thought tonight. I always knew about stepping through that "wall"...but Lucinda never mentioned anything about someone else sticking their head through first

I never even had time to worry about my first kiss. Yay for me.

Lilsis!

Good for you! It sounds like with getting a kiss (a nice sweet one, too - not a tonsilectomy - LOL) after the THIRD date that he is not rushing either. You don't have to explain too much too soon (or at all right now), but just tell him - if it comes up - that you need to take things slow right now and that you enjoy spending time with him - a lot!

Also - don't anticipate yourself into a problem that doesn't exist with any "what if" thinking. Your thoughts about committment, potential "freak out", making a choice, etc. - it hasn't happened yet...and it might not...or it might not for awhile! Don't miss out on something that could be great (as in "What if this is a really wonderful relationship?" ) by being afriad to change or grow. Of course - new situations can be anxiety producing, but you are moving forward - you should be proud of yourself - ENJOY THIS!!!!

Blessings to you!
Dawn

Thanks so much. He has invited me to a wedding out of town this weekend. I am going back and forth over whether I want to go.

There are pros. I do think I would enjoy myself. I think it's something I could do. But, I'm not for sure that I want to, just yet. I would like to dance with him. I would enjoy seeing him in a social situation.

However, I don't know him THAT well yet. And, I have an opportunity to do some repairs to my house this weekend. I would like to do that so that I will be able to invite him over for dinner or a movie. I've had some water damage that I need to get fixed and I would like to do that.

I'm not for sure what one I'm going to choose yet. However, I think I am leaning toward the home repairs. They are very important to me.