Stress Center Peer Support

Hi everyone. First of all I want to say, my husband has stuck by me through all of this anxiety crap for 9 years as of today...off and on of course but he's always been there for me. But lately, he just seems cold when I try to tell him how I'm feeling. He basically tells me that it's all nonsense, it's not real, I make all this stuff up in my head. For example; my doctor had told me that if by the 18th I wasn't feeling 70% better on my Zoloft dosage, I should go up 50 more mg. Well up until a couple of days ago I felt I was feeling about 70% better. Well now I'm pmsing and feeling anxious and depressed again. I thought if I could just calmly discuss my feelings with him I could get it off my chest and we could just have a rationsl conversation about it. Instead he told me that he thought that I was imagining it and I've been doing alot better, but because I knew it was the 18th I was "making" myself feel bad again so I could say the meds weren't working...These thoughts never crossed my mind and I was completely insulted. I'm just so hurt. Why would he be being so cold to me. I understand anxiety is frustrating for the whole family, but it's not harder on anyone than it is on me!

Hi mtdeffend,

First off I am sorry you are going through this. A lot of people are going through very similar or the same problems with their spouses or or boy/girl friends. I'm not meaning to take away from your troubles at all but am just letting you know you aren't alone with this problem. I'm certain many will reply that are experiencing spousal troubles when it comes to them not understanding what we go through or they aren't supportive or empathetic or sympathetic to how much we suffer and we all need support and that love to help us heal.

It's very difficult for those who have never felt these physical and emotional symptoms to understand them. It's like trying to explain the pain of childbirth to someone who has never had a child.

It's great to have the forums to come to and vent or have compassionate people who do understand and care and it does help some a lot to not feel so alone.

I have a husband who has suffered both anxiety and depression so he knows how it feels.

I hope somehow you can get your husband to read or listen to some of the info in the program and get to better understand just how horrible it is and then be able to show you some empathy and be supportive.

I'm wishing you better days ahead. Please keep working the program as it's the best treatment there is. It does work!!!
I'm using my skills and am so happy to say that I'm feeling great everyday since completing this program in December.

God Bless!

I can understand what frustrates our spouses when it comes to our anxiety. And its sad how "cold" their reactions can be. But really, sometimes I feel like we do turn our focus inward when we are having a bad day. At least I do... When i am feeling like crap, everyone knows, its always on my mind its like that bad energy sticks around and other people are prone to pick up on these energies. I would try to stay positive, do something that makes you happy while you are feeling bad. Even if its just sitting on the couch reading a book. If you are pms'ing you are even more sensitivee to whats going on around you. Give yourself a break, take a breath and smile. They are contagious. Im sure your husband wasnt trying to hurt your feelings, but he was being honest in what he was saying. Next time you feel hes being cold, just thank him for being honest, but you know better than anyone how you are feeling in the present moment better than anyone. I hopee you are feeling better soon!