Stress Center Peer Support

Hello everyone,

I really need some help. My husband and I have been married now for 1yr. We cannot get along at all. We hate being married to each but just don't know what to do. It all started that my husband said he always wanted to go back to school so we budgeted and he went back now he is finding the course load too heavy and he is not really learning anything, so he is very disappointed he complains all the time that he was making good money at his old job. I have encouraged him to go back that he doesn't need to finish school but he's sticking with school. We fight all the time. Because on weekends when I just want to relax his family is always coming over. I spoke to him about it and he took a real offense he didn't understand my point of view at all. In fact he looks at me like I am trying to get between him and his family. He is always sad these days, never wants to socailize. I believe it's my fault I should never have married him he was content and happy before us now he's so down, to the point that our friends are asking if something is wrong with him. He constantly sleeps, complains that he's tired. This breaks my heart because a few years ago I suffered from anxiety and depression and I am finally making my way backs thanks to God and the program, and I see my husband travelling down the same path, and I can'y help but think I put him there. I have thought about separation, in fact I moved out for a day but came back. The worst part about all this after a year of looking we finally found the home we want to live in, but we no longer want to live together. I am young and finally free from the bonds of depression, I can't go back I don't have the strength, but it's hard.

Honey you are not responsible for what is going on with your husband. You said yourself that he seems to be depressed,and from the way you describe him, I'd say that is a pretty sure bet. I think the problem seems to be the choice he made to go back to school and just because you encouraged him to do that certainly doesn't make you responsible for his unhappiness. He has to decide thatif he is going to continue with school, that he must accept that school is much different than a job and in some ways, more demanding and stressful. also going back to school is a major life change for him AND for you and any life change tends to be stess producing. Don't blame yourself and for goodness sake,don't give up on your marriage. You and your husband need each other now more than ever. I know it's painful for you to see him so unhappy right now but you are not the problem. Hang in there take care and God bless.