Stress Center Peer Support

I have always had a fear of driving, every since the first time I got behind the wheel. In the past I have had spells where I was terrified to drive that lasted a few months at a time. My main problem is that I am afraid I will hit something and not know it. About 6 months ago I started having problems driving again. I am terrified to drive alone. I do not think I am going to be able to get over the fear this time. I have not drove anywhere for over a month. I ride to work with someone else and only go places if my friends pick me up.
When I try to drive I feel every lump in the road and have to turn around to see if I have hit anything. It is very annoying and embarrasing. I have all kinds of terrible thoughts like...what if I wreck, what if a pedestrian runs out in front of me, what if I hit someone or something in the road and do not realize it. The more times I turned around to make sure I had not hit anything the more nervous and panicked I felt. I am so mad at myself for having all these irrational fears!!

Now that I am not driving at all things have actually gotten worse. I now spend hours every day trying to remember every time I have ever drove in my life (which is thousands of times because I am 30 years old and have drove almost every day to work since I was 16)I now have a new fear that what if I hit something in the past and did not know I hit anything. I try to remember any possible time this could have happened. It is like an obsession. The friends I have told about my problem keep telling me this is not possible and if I hit something I would defiantly know about it. They say there is no way you can hit somethng without seeing it and having damage to your car. This reassures me for awhile, but I am still terrified to drive and cannot get the scary thoughts out of my mind. It is like I have to be worrying about something all the time.

I have also developed more fears in the past month such as what if I never drive again, what if I cannot make it to work and cannot support myself, what if I get more crazy and have to be put in the hospital, what if I lose my job, what if I have health problems,ect. I spend 90% of my day worrying.

If anyone has ever had a similar problem please let me know that I am not alone. Also if anyone has any suggestions that might help me I would appreciate it.

I too have a fear of driving. It has gotten so bad these past few months, which is why i decided to order the program. I fear that a car will pull out in front of me... a pedestrian will walk in front, even afraid to make turns for fear that I will drive over the curb. It sucks! I am afraid driving with other people, and the worst is when my boyfriend is in the passenger seat, Im afraid he thinks im driving bad, because he often notices when I hesitate, and says, "are you ok to drive?"

Its soo embarassing, and I know that I have to drive one way or the other! One day I will have kids and need to drive them around, what then?
It sucks to worry all the time, I do too..
Life is so short and why waste so much energy wondering what if? Easier said than done, huh? Did you start the program yet? I just started the first session while driving! It actually helped me. Lucinda's voice is soothing and it gives me something else to think about. Maybe you should try it!

Fear of driving is my main anxiety problem and its nice to know I am not the only one. We should definitely talk more. Good luck

K4312,
hugs! You are NOT alone.
There are thousands of people, yes really thousands, with the same condition, similar to it anyway. Just the type of obsessive thought to go along with the fear differs with each of us.
Me included.
In the past, I was petrified to drive, would start up with a panic attack at just the thought of it, and eventually was agoraphobic.

Those obsessive, scary thoughts you're having are just our way of distracting ourselves from what's really going on. LOTS of anxiety that manifests itself in many ways. Fear of driving is one of them/.
here's a few more - sound familiar??

Lot's of "what if" thinking. (what if this happens and then........)
Fear of "going crazy" You're not.
Constant worrying about our health, finances, job security......
Fear of hurting someone else - in whatever way.
Dwelling on the past - usually with unrealistic thoughts of it.
Constantly criticizing ourselves.
The list goes on!

It's a condition. You CAN overcome this!

This program "Combatting Stress and Depression Program" is amazing.
It works.
Check it out.
It's a huge relief to stop the constant worrying!
You just have to learn how like the rest of us.

So, my suggestion is to get this program and work at it. Complete it. Live again.

There's also a great tape from StressCenter specifically for comfort with driving, but I really think that it needs to be used as an adjunct to the program. Worked for me.

By the way, I was petrified to drive by myself for many years. Now, I drive all over the place. It still makes me smile at how much I've accomplished while and after working on this program.

It's just thoughts, only thoughts. That's on one of the tapes and it's a wonderful thing to remember.

hugs again.

Thank you Cindylou for reminding us that it's just thoughts. I think we have a tendency to obsess over the what ifs and scary stuff way too much.

k4312, remember that, it's thoughts that are making you feel crazy. Trust me, my mind goes a million miles a minute at times with the what ifs and the scary thoughts. Your friends are right. If you did hit something, you would definitely notice.

I'm terrified of driving, myself. I have to rely on other people to get me places and you lose your sense of independence, you know? I drove as a teen, went through a period of time in my 20's where I had panic attacks either while driving or just thinking of sitting in the driver's seat. In that time, I was also involved in 3 accidents, 2 rather scary and not my fault and 1 where I slid in some snow and basically put a softball sized dent in someone's car. Did that make me afraid to drive after that, absolutely.

My panic would go off and on with driving. I probably haven't consistently driven anywhere in eight years? When I drive now, which is super rare, I get that kind of hazy disassociated feeling, lightheaded and shaky. And I have probably learned a lot of ways to get to places around this town without using the main drag. When I was driving, or even now driving with someone else, I get a panicky, trapped feeling in the turn lane or the inside lane thinking, what do I do if I have to get out of here? I used to drive in the far lane in case I felt badly and had to pull over. And forget the freeway. It scares me now just to think of it.

And believe me, I really want to drive. I'd love to just hop in the car and take off for wherever I want to whenever I want to. I'm hoping with the skills from this program, I'll be able to do just that.

I just started the program last week as well.
It has helped me some. Just knowing that there is a lot of other people who have the same problem I have helps.
I have the same problem when my husband is with me while I am driving. I will be driving slow and he will be yelling at me to go faster or to turn. Then he looks at me like I should not even be allowed to drive. Sometimes I think he is part of my problem! I am hoping I can start driving again soon. You are right Lizzy - life is to short to spend so much time worrying.

Dear k4312,
During this last bout of panic I became afraid to drive on the freeway. This has been going on for months now. I was never afraid before so this is new for me but I have had panic attacks in the car and had to pull over to the side of the road until the panic attack slowed down. Not a good feeling and I hate the fear I feel. I am okay on city streets but the freeway is a bear. I have to go on the freeway in two days and am already anticipating it. I just started the Anxiety program and plan to take the CD with me in the car. I pray that we will learn to overcome this because I just want to get in the car and go. If I let this limit me, my world will become smaller. Hang in there. We are going to make it!

Cindy Lou,
Could you please give me some information about the tape from the StressCenter.com for driving? I think I need some extra help with this. I have panic attacks in the car when I have to drive the freeway and I really need to overcome this. Thank you in advance.

dinobail,
Hi, sure.
It's called "Driving with Comfort" and it's an awesome tape.
You can call StressCenter - 1-800-944-9460 and order it. I just looked it up and it's $15.oo and worth thousands more.
Carolyn Dickman, the education director created and recorded it.
She's wonderful on the tape! The first half Carolyn talks about our fear of driving and
incorporates some very good, real stories to help us understand how it's our thinking that brings this on. The second half, Carolyn repeats, three times each, some incredible affirmations to help us build up the confidence to drive and comfort us while driving.
At first, I listened mostly to the first half while driving. The conversational tone helped to relax me.
The humor in the tape or CD becomes more and more apparent as we start to overcome the fear of driving.
Believe me, this tape hits home and helps!

Two years ago, I couldn't even drive 1/4 mile without a major panic attack. It was absolutely horrible and I felt so darn humiliated. I didn't know it all stemmed from my anxiety and it used to make me so angry at myself and left me feeling helpless.

Keep moving forward with working on the program. It changed my life and opened up my heart.

Hugs and God bless.

K4312,
OK now, shall I hop on over and tell your hubby to knock it off?

Seriously, how about something like (with a smile of course )
" I will when I can and that will be soon, just not yet, I'm getting there. Hang in there Honey, relief will come soon enough".

Or, he could always walk and meet you there.

You know, I've found that finding the humor in most things helps us to recover from this. It's tough at times, but keep looking.

Huge hugs!

CindyLou,
Thank you so much for the information and the encouragement especially about driving. God bless you too!