Stress Center Peer Support

Does anyone else ask there self why me? I suffer from social phobia and have almost all my life... which is 35 years. Iwas married for 11 years and while i was married i had a secret that i hid from everyone...that i was gay. Even though i never acted on it..i thought it would pass...but never did, until one day i just had enough and left my wife and children to be true to myself. I'm still very involved in my daughters lives and they know the truth now. I'm still not out to alot of people, my mom, work and some others. I thought being true to myself would help with my anxiety, but hasn't...its been 3 years now. I have a wonderful partner who loves me and my children and were celebrating our 1 year annivesary here very soon. I'm very happy with that part of my life but still have this social phobia. We go out or to a friendly party, I can't even mustard up a word to say and just stand around all night and if i say one sentence, i'm lucky. I don't want to be the center of attention, but would like to just be a part of the party. ALOT of people think i'm very snobby and most people think i just don't like them, its not that at all. I ask myself alot, why me? I'm a decent guy whose a hard worker and a good person. Why does this have to bethe way i live? Any help out there?

Are you on any kind of medication for your anxiety??

I'm not promoting medication at all (trust me, I don't like it myself).


I have social phobia too tho, so I know how you feel. And I have/had low self-esteem.... I always thought if I just looked a little different, it'd all go away. But it never does. There's no good in looking great on the outside if you're rotting away on the inside.

Keep this in mind tho,

If you're strong enough to take charge of your life and come out as a gay man, then you're strong enough to beat your phobia. It's gonna take some effort on your part, but you CAN do it.


And I hope you do

I agree with Lizzie. What you've done in coming out, starting a new life, and still maintaining a relationship with your daughters and ex-wife, is really strong and brave.

Social phobia is fairly common, but it might also be a transitional phase you're going through. Since you've had so much change in your life over the last few years, maybe you're just gun shy.

I'm also gay and struggling with anxiety, etc. Feel free to contact me directly if you want.

Feel better.