Stress Center Peer Support

I can't seem to look-up to my father. Last week, I had an argument with him and to me, that was the last straw! I was planning on moving out of my parents house by summer, but since they have been borrowing (more like stolen since they haven't paid me back in a year) I can't move out.

It looks like God has hidden in the clouds again.

The problems still lurk between me and my father. It seems that he treats me like a dog, like today he told me that I have to ride the bus. I felt that all my work on getting my Drivers License was worth nothing! Then when I come back home, he said "that wasn't bad, was it"?

I was about to leave my own home, it seems that he's too difficult to live with!

I'm sorry you are having problems with your father. Family relationships can be so difficult.

One thing I try to remember that that every person has their own problems and pain, and that everyone is just trying to get by the best they can.

Good luck! I hope things get better soon.

you made me think of a quote I read the other day:

God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford

oh how true. I live with my parents too. Sometimes I feel like they're holding it over my head that I'm 20 and still living with them and I don't have a "real" job. Yet they only time notice me when they need money or something. I wish I could give you some good advice but really, I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with it myself. But hang in there, things will change. Meanwhile, I'll hope for the best for you.

Originally posted by *Chelsie*:
you made me think of a quote I read the other day:

God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford

oh how true. I live with my parents too. Sometimes I feel like they're holding it over my head that I'm 20 and still living with them and I don't have a "real" job. Yet they only time notice me when they need money or something. I wish I could give you some good advice but really, I'm still trying to figure out how to cope with it myself. But hang in there, things will change. Meanwhile, I'll hope for the best for you.

It seems like it's getting worse. I don't even want to talk to him now, I want him out of my life. I can't love him anymore, I wish he would just...go away!

Would you mind if I asked why you haven't moved out?

Originally posted by *Chelsie*:
Would you mind if I asked why you haven't moved out?

I don't have the money to leave.

I thought of having a room mate, but like Greta Garbo..."I want to be alone".

Can you look for a job that comes with a place to live? How about joining the armed forces, is that an option at all?

How come he had you ride the bus? Do you have your own car? What is with the money they have taken from you?

I'm in a situation now where I know my stepson probably thinks I suck (and maybe his dad does, too). He stays in his room all the time to 'not get in trouble', as he says, and thinks we are bad parents. He has to ride the bus these days because he spent his paycheck on expensive clothes instead of getting new tires and an oil change on his car, so the tires are actually disintegrating and the car has blue smoke coming from it. I 'stole' his paycheck because we had to pay $250 for emergency repairs on his car (which he got for free) when something broke underneath it, just to get it drivable.

Every situation has two sides to it and I think when you get to the age where you want to be independent and make your own decisions, but still live at home, you start resenting your parents. I see that as a natural, driving force that is meant to help you leave home. If everything was great living with your parents, you would never leave and make your own life.

My mother died when I was 14 and my father was an alcoholic, and I was out the door as soon as I turned 18. We had a good relationship later, after I saw a counselor and came to terms with his drinking and accepted that I couldn't rescue him or make his stop, but just set boundaries for how I would let it influence my life.

I don't know how old you are or if you have finished school, but I do think you should look for a way to leave home if you really hate it. Not having money is not necessarily a reason - you can make money and save, if your parents take your money you can open a bank account that they can not access.