Stress Center Peer Support

Hello stress centre friends,

it's been a while since my last post, as I have tried to work this concern on my own with no avail. My husband and I are on our way to separation and possibly divorce. I just can't get use to the fact that he has children, whenever the mother of his kids call I get upset. He is a great father he makes monthly payments and buys for the kids whatever she ask for, yet she seems to be calling more frequently these days. She always seems to call when I am around just my luck. She knows all about our lives, my husband has not told her anything so where is she getting this information. I work sometimes 10hr days she is a stay at home mom. Life seems to easy for her. I don't ask my husband for anything. Everything I have through God I got it. I love my husband but I want to peaceful life. I don't need him to stay to pay the bills. I just want to fresh start w/o a man in my life just God and me. It has gotten so bad that I don't want anyone coming to the house as I am not sure who is feeding her our life story. She has her own life, I don't interfere neither does my husband. When he takes the kids for the weekend I disappear I go else where, it's like I want nothing to do this component of his life. I feel bad about, thats why I think it's best we go our separate ways.

I don't really know how to advise you on this one...

You really do have to make this decision on your own.

If you plan on staying in the marriage, then, you need to accept the children. You need to understand that this is not their fault, and they are victims in this tug of war...

I would not concern myself about the ex...because I am sure she poses no threat to you at all.

Sometimes, people like to push our buttons. Just try and not allow this ex to get to you!!!

This is your marriage, but, I believe if you really work at it, and give the children a chance, then, things will be much better!!!!

I am sure this is not easy for your hubby, either. I am sure he wants you, as well as, his children happy. I bet you he feels sooo torn, since, you have not accepted his children.

Remember, this children are a part of your hubby. They have his blood flowing through their veins. Look for the good in these children!!! I am sure you will find it...

It is sooo difficult when there are children involved from a former marriage. But, I am sure you knew about these children before the marriage took place.

You know much more about your marriage than I do. So, really you are the only one who can make this decision.

If I were in your shoes, I would pray really hard on this one!!! I would ask the Lord to help me with my problems, and to lead and guide my mind on what to do!!!!

Like I said, the decision is totally up to you.
I pray that you make the right one...God Bless

Future - you have received some very excellent advice from Mrs. T. Bones. I really cannot add much more, except to say that his children are part of the package with your husband. Try to work on a relationship with them and your relationship with your husband will become stronger.
Lisa