Stress Center Peer Support

Can someone offer some practical steps of how I can regain my interest in the things of life again? This is a scary place to be. Once I get out of this funk I never am going to return so help me God.

Hello AbundantLiving,

I was in your shoes too. I understand how it feels. I was numb about everything. I would try to make special outings or fix up my house or get my hair done or anything to try and find that feeling of joy that comes when something good and fun is happening in ones life. But non of these things were working for me.

I experienced my anxiety last April, although I've learned that I have had anxiety for many years. I just didn't experience the chronic racing heart, choking, sleep issues, panic, etc. until last April. I never gave myself time. I did NOT take care of myself. I would go and go and go and never take a break. Then I started going and going right through the night when I was suppose to be sleeping. That's when it all caught up with me last April. My body's physical condition just went kerplunck and I was forced to give myself the care I was well overdue. When I found the means to relax, I found my joy again.

I am a very spiritual person. One year prior to my anxiety/panic symptoms, I began asking God to take the mess I've made of my life and fix it for me because I can't. And boy, he sure did. First he fixed my financial mess, then my housing mess, then my physical mess, and finally through anxiety/panic has answered all the family questions I've had for the last 25+ years. I finally understand my mother (now deceased), my nieces and aunts and other family members, my friends, and my interactions with everyone. And because God is so much bigger than any of this, he has shown me this ugly thing in my life/family and is cleaning it up too. I apologize if it sounds like I'm preaching. That's not what I intend. I'm just sharing my story.

I have found Lucinda's program, herbal therapy (pain, hormones/thyroid, inflammation, etc.), and meditation (healthjourneys.com). These are some of the resources I have found and used and have great success with in addressing my anxiety/panic. The anxiety/panic is pretty much gone and my love and joy has returned. I'm still working on it because it is a life changing necessity, but I am successful. and only because God is bigger than all of this. Praise God!

I hope you can find the means to relax and be restful and peaceful both physically and in spirit too. It seems like that is when the positive heavy uplifting feelings of joy, love, and happiness returns.

Hope I've been helpful,

Eileen

Has a new event triggered this loss of interest? Or does this seem to be a long standing way of being? either way, journaling might help. if people journal for several pages, they often get past the surface issues and get to the deeper issues of what is draining their energy to engage life. Even more journaling for a few pages helps us remember the things that gave us joy or stimulated our passion. It might require writing "i just hate doing this, or this seems so stupid, "...you get the idea, JUST WRITE ANYWAY. Also don't forget the online counselors. If the sun is shining, talk yourself into getting outside for a mindful walk.

also one more idea, what did you like to do when you were a preteen or young teen? that often is a clue to our natural passions.
Contemplate how you could bring that into 21st century living.
Thanks for sharing your struggle,
Mitzy

Thank you so much Eileen. I am a man so this is very embarrassing for me to go through. It's taboo for men to talk about and there's only a select few bros. that I talk to about this, besides my family. Thank you so much for your advice and wisdom and sharing your experiences. I'm going to start writing in my journal again and take a look into Lucinda's programs after I write this.

I am a follower of Christ. I believe me being distracted by the things of this world has caused me to loose interest because that stuff doesn't last. I left my true love like Israel and it seems like God is mad at me but I believe with all my heart He is beckoning for me. I've never been this low before. I've even asked God to just take me out of here because I feel like I'm so enveloped with my issues that I can't help anyone else around me... I feel like a burden instead of a refreshing relief around people, you know? So that causes me to stay to myself at times because I think "I bring people down". I don't always go through this... but right now, today, I'm at a low point and I'm sure you know how "we" anxiety suffers tend to blow things out of proportion. I KNOW THAT THIS TO SHALL PASS and God is just waiting with open arms for me to return. Please pray that I believe that I'm good enough for God's forgiveness and mercy. Please pray that I stop trying to do, do, do and rest in what He already has done. Thank you once again Eileen for taking time out of your day to minister to me. I know God will not forget this.

To be honest Mitzy, I can't even remember when I started loosing interest. That's another thing that has plagued me too, loss of memory. I think genetics has alot to do with that though because my mom is VERY forgetful. She struggles with anxiety too so...

It's been a long standing way of being... a couple years now. I just started the workforce "real world" a couple years ago and everything got all of the sudden really SERIOUS. Responsibility started piling up and I didn't, still don't to an extent, know how to handle it. I'm the type that's very extreme so I became what I thought I had to become to manage this "new" lifestyle and began working really hard and not playing really hard. I believe that's what started it. So I'm beginning to balance my time now and not be so serious. I'm VERY hard on myself because I feel that people in my family are depending on me and looking up to me. It's become to heavy of a load to carry and knees are wobbling. So I'm realizing this, stepping back and having pure genuine fun again.

Thank you so much Mitzy for your advice. I remember when I was teen I used to love being outside so that's what I'm going to start doing again. And I'm going to start my journal back up again. Thank you so much for your concern and advice; it really means alot.

AbundantLiving ~ His blood clenases us and purifies us and makes us worthy...It's done...you are his precious son and he is jealous for you. There is no condemnation for those in Christ. I pray that the Holy spirit will reveal to you the everlasting sweet emabrace of God and that his love penetrate every cell. That is my prayer for you.
When was the last time you felt "good" what were you doing? and what do you like about the do,do,do? What's in it for you? Just something to think on. When I have experienced this I usually find that I am very out of balance, disconnected, not in the present moment and my thinking is not supporting me to live healthfully.
I hope you smile as you get back outside!

Blessings,
K

Thank you K for your prayer. In the bible it says that the Holy Spirit is the remembrance and He just used you to bring back to my remembrance His promises.

hmmm... the last time I felt good... I can't remember. I always feel good though when I'm helping people. Oh yeah, when I'm active and moving around outside doing something... that's when i feel good... and when everyone is in a good harmonious spirit and people are smiling... that's when I feel good.

I think the do, do, do gives me a false sense of accomplishment... like I can cross it off the list now. It's always been very difficult for me to just trust God and let go, therefore I exhaust myself. But I'm learning and learning quickly because what I'm going through is HORRIBLE!! The feelings, the false thoughts... it's all horrible. You're right, i'm not balanced right now but I'm getting there. It's just a matter of time

Thank you once again K.

Hi AbundantLiving,
So glad...You are welcome. Reminders are wonderful. It is so neat how God moves and works and uses us weaving us into the fabric of each others lives! So keep remembering.
I understand the accomplishment thing. I measure who I am as a person, my worth, value, intelligence etc, etc, etc by how productive I am. I have lots of lists and if I don't do anything or cross it off then it wasn't a "good day" or I feel bad about myself or uneasy. I have to work hard and things seem to have to be complicated and then I have "done good" So it's a whole mind set I am working on breaking down. Letting go and trusting...isn't it like "THE TASK" for all but especially those of us with anxiety etc. Check out Zoe's dream topic ~ it's a beautifully inspiring story about letting go and giving our fears etc to God.
So outside you go!! =) That seems to be a consistent thread for you. I love when everyone is harmonious too. I have trouble being o.k. when everyone is not harmonious. My happiness has relied on other people's moods etc. So that is another task as well to work on staying grounded in my mood and space even though others may not ya know.

I wish you peace. Keep going! Hang in there! One step, one moment, one breath at a time.

By the way I like your "tag" about our capability!! It reminds me of the Nelson Mandela poem "Our Deepest Fear" so awesome! so true.

Blessings,
K

AbundantLiving,

You are very welcome. I'm so happy that I was able to bring some ideas to mind for you to think about. There's no need to feel embarrassed here. Everyone here is going through much of the same as you in one way or another. I completely understand your point about feeling like a burden, but your faith in God will bring you away from that. Give creedence to you efforts in trying to overcome your anxiety. God will lead you.

You may find the resources at this web site helpful: healthjourneys.com.

Take care - Eileen

Oprah has this great saying, "motivation comes fr doing". This is especially applicable for someone experiencing anxiety disorder & or, depression. The sum total of these terrible ailments can so totally deplete us of our energy + will + desire + enthusiasm + interest, etc. Anxiety disorder & depress lie - in that they both attempt to create a fausaud - a negative state of being - an aura - that is your life(that is all NOT TRUE).

We all have our "gut instincts" or as I often say, "our God voice" in us all. Sure, many times we doubt that voice - that is just the nonsense of anxiety disorder & depress talking. If we hone in on that "God voice" we all have - we learn to truly trust it & consequently, trust ourselves. Then, we will(little by little) do the things ANYWAY - even while both those terrible ailments try to simultaneously convince us <span class="ev_code_RED">not to.</span> The ACT of doing, even if initially there is not desire - fuels the MOTIVATION - it creates it & it is THAT ACT that is the cryptonite TO ANXIETY DISORDER & DEPRESSION.

Some basic recommendations:

1) Work Lucinda's program everyday - follow it as instructed - STRICTLY. Make recovery your #1 priority - make YOU your #1 priority.

2) LET GO & LET GOD - TURN IT ALL OVER TO HIM. By this I mean, talk to him - pray to him - let him know exactly what you're feeling - your concerns - fears - the emotional pain. Ask him to guide you, to show you the way. Let him know you are willingto do the work - you just need his guidance during the way & his strength when you experience moments of weakness. When we open ourselves up to him - & I mean the most raw/vulnerable/deepest part of our soul/spirit - the PANDORA'S BOX to the deepest part of US - we make ourselves truly receptive to him. Again, by this I mean: often, we all ask for God's help - there are times, that we don't truly MEAN IT - God will always help us & NEVER FORSAKE US. We just need to realize - It isn't about "what we want, when we want it", lol - no. Rather, it's what "God knows is best for us & when".When we open the deepest part of our souls & spirit to him - we make ourselves(I think) <span class="ev_code_RED">emotionally receptive</span> TO CHANGE/ADVICE - even when its not always what we want/as we want/when we want it - cause we know GOD WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR US. God ans's us - we just need to make sure we're listening & watching.

3) EMPOWER YOURSELF about anxiety disorder & depression. Whether it be your local library + a book store + the internet, etc - read books on these disorders - knowledge is power & it is the CRYPTONITE to these disorders. When you accumulate the vast information that is out there - you accumulate knowledge about them & empower yourself - because you put yourself in a position to TRULY UNDERSTAND what these disorders are - fr that, you can take action/s to heal/recover/grow - you break away fr the false existence/negative state of being they are trying to create for you.

4) JOURNAL. Journaling helps us get to a place where we're comfortable admitting/acknowledging what we're <span class="ev_code_RED">THINKING & FEELING</span> - then, to feel them = admitt + acknowledge + address + feel + deal + resolve= LET GO & move on.So that, we unburden ourselves w/ these surpressed & negative emotions & MAKE ROOM FOR THE GOOD STUFF. When we do that, we don't fester in the wallowing & dwelling of all things that are anxiety disorder & depression. We then, gradually, feel lighter.

5) POSITIVE SELF TALK. Boy oh boy, this is big - key - huggggggggge, VERY IMPORTANT. What we're feeling originates(lgely, although not singularly) fr our thoughts. We are so caught up in the whole cycle of neg self talk/thoughts - so much so, it is common for us, a way of life if you will. We don't realize how much. Thats ok - cause WE HAVE THE POWER to change that. As Lucinda recommends in the program - note DAILY & CONSISTANTLY, your thoughts. Sure, we are creating a NEW WAY OF THINKING=WAY OF LIFE. That's no big deal - think of it as POS THINKING COLLEGE, lol - honest. <span class="ev_code_RED">DR'S + DENTIST'S + PHARMACIST'S + ACCOUNTANTS + ENGINEERS + MECHANICS, ETC</span> - didn't just wake up & became these things - instantaneously filled w/ the KNOWLEDGE that afforded them the ability to BE THESE THINGS. No, they had to learn them. I say, so can we - those prone to anxiety disorder & depress. We too can LEARN a better & healthier & positive & empowering way of THINKING. Get some books on it - read, make notes, PRACTICE - trust me - POS SELF TALK SO WORKS.

6) LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF. This is also something we may not do - or know how, but it is so something WE CAN LEARN & the rewards are 100% - BENEFICIAL. May sound quirky, but try an exercise: when you are alone - look in a lge mirror you have @ home. Look @ the person staring back @ you. Every day, tell him "you love him" OR "hey man - how's it going - I'm proud of you" OR "I know you are working real hard to recover & I think you're doing a great job" - whatever, use your imagination. I know, sounds funny - it works, I've done it. I didn't know HOW to learn to love myself. I did this exercise, lol - starting w/ "what am I supposed to say to you" hahahha What it did was get me intuned w/ me - to love me + appreciate me & the woman I am + to express that love everyday, no matter what I did/didn't do or no matter what is going on in the world. 1 day, doing that exercise in the morning, I cried. OK, I'm a sentimental woman who crys if the wind blows the wrong way - thats ok, I love that part of me. I'd rather have a loving & sentimental heart - than to live this life cold/indifferent. I cried because I DID IT that particular day. I cried @ the wonderful woman staring b/4 me - I knew she was fighting like hell to recover for us both - I knew & grew to a point where I told her(me) "I wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world". You see, b/4 we expect others to love us - we need to love ourselves. Loving yourself is the greatest gift you will give yourself - it also empowers you in that, you become less emotionally dependant on others.

7)GRATITUDE. Every morning & every nite, b/4 you go to sleep, say "thank you" to God for all that you do have - not what you don't. Every day - during the coarse of the day, name some things you're greatful for: your home/shelter/place to live + your life + health + family + friends + this PROGRAM + the great man you ARE + the sun outside + the birds singing + the breeze on your face + the food you have to eat + your character - THIS LIST OF GRATITUDE IS INFINITE. It's purpose is to simply foster an attitude of GREATFULNESS - of possitively - so that you focus on what you do have, not what you don't. We are so all much more well off than we realize. Anxiety disorder & depress just makes us focus on the negative stuff. You don't believe them.

8) Anxiety disorder & depress can very subtley create a state of <span class="ev_code_RED">ISOLATION</span>w/o your even realizing it. You withdraw fr life/people/the world/your hobbies/interests - then wonder why no one is around or the phone doesn't ring. Reach out there: call a positive friend - enjoy the conversation + invite a friend for lunch/supper - heck, invite the guys over for a game on tv(golf, baseball, bowling)- go out w/ that special someone if applicable + go to a movie or the bookstore - REACH OUT THERE to the POSITIVE PEOPLE in your life. Allow yourself to have a fun conversation that doesn't always need to be about something revelant - heck, just to laugh fr your belly - HARD(like run to the men's room hard) - laughter is food for the soul & its free. If there are particulars, say hobbies of yours, that these 2 disorders are attempting to make you LOSE INTEREST - do them anyway - pls trust me on this. Say you like GOLFING @ the local golf course. Call some buddies - can them clubs & go hit a few. Fr your doing it anyway, will come YOUR TRUE DESIRE FOR THESE THINGS - trust me.

9) Watch a funny movie or whatever your fave type of movies are - something that is specific to YOUR INTERESTS = you doing for you.

10) What is your fave type of music? Here in the NYC/NJ area, there is this 1 particular radio station - where every FRIDAY - they have this "kiss the week goodbye" thingy. They play a lge variety of FUN COOL - MAKE YA MOVE EVEN IF YA DON'T WANT TO MUSIC, lol - if I make sense. Put on some of that music you may have at home or put your fave radio station on - & jam - don't worry about no one else or nothing else. When I recovered fr anxiety disorder - I subsequently was diagnosed w/ depress for the 1st time in my life(I'm going to be 40 in Aug). I never had depression ever - so what it was making me feel was so sad & foreign. If I was a crier b/4 - lord have mercy, lol - I was like a 2hr chick flick sappy movie - just 24/7, hahahah . Fortunately, I got intuned w/ my gut instincts or my GOD VOICE as I referred to earlier.I knew this wasn't "typical/normal/healthy" for me. It happened to be a friday - I was in my kitchen(I hadn't ret'd to working just yet). It was a bit after 8am. I put that radio station on. I said, "oh, I'll just listen to it - but it prob won't do any good - I'll just listen @ least". Well, as I said, they play a variety of cool pump you up FUN MUSIC. The 1st song I distinctly remember hearing is BROWN EYED GIRL -I felt my hips moving & my tushy. Then, they played THE DEVIL WENT DWN TO GA. I started singing(really badly, lol). Then they played "do wa diddy diddy dum diddy do"(you know that dong). Well guess what? I was dancing right there in my kitchen - singing off key & moving it. Depress tried to tell me other wise - depress TRIED, unsuccessly I might add, to make me think & feel - I wouldn't want to. I trusted myself & did it anyway. IT FELT GOOD.

11) RELAXATION. In the midst of recovery & all that life can & will entail, nourishing our souls & spirits w/ the ability to sit still & do nothing - is the most refreshing & nourishing thing there is. Yes, it may seem foreign - uncomfortable even. Practicing daily will so change that. Sit w/ you - in your back yard or @ the local park or on your couch: no worries/responsibilities/recovery/family nonsense - NOTHING BUT YOU & YOUR DWN TIME.

12) EXERCISING & EATING, MAKING HEALTHIER CHOICES. When we exercise a little something every day + combine that w/ eating, making healthier choices, we make ourselves STRONG - inside & out. As a result, we EQUIP ourselves w/ the ability to act/react/live/think/be better & healthier. We put ourselves in a better position to handle life & all it will entail. Lucinda is right, life isn't easy & it ain't fair. If we exercise & eat healthier, making better choices more consistantly, we put ourselves in a better position to be able to HANDLE life itself.

Pls don't feel embarrassed about anything cause you're a man & men don't feel this or do that. What makes you a darn good man + a courageous man + a strong man - is that you can reach out - that you recognize & want to change - that you want more & better than the nonsense anxiety disorder & or depress is creating for you. THAT IS A MAN. Be proud of yourself - pat yourself on the back - you are a man - a good man.

Your friend,

LENORE