Stress Center Peer Support

For about a year now I've been having anxiety attacks. Just sharp, sudden outbursts; it used to be contained to just my house and now it's creeping out into the outside world. I cry, I feel faint, my body feels weak, my heart starts to race, and I feel like I'm going to die--no, I'm certain I am going to die. At least when they happen.

These all started the last week of August before this monster semester of college that I setup for myself. During that summer my father was having blood pressure spikes, my car broke down, I had pneumonia, and my grandfather died within days of my birthday. My life was spiraling downward in what should have been one of the best times I was gonna have. I was graduating in the spring and I was finally becoming very good as a graphic designer.

The first attack came after I was home for a while and my left leg started tingling. I shrugged it off, but it persisted, I brought in some groceries and my heart felt like it was racing. I felt faint, dizzy, anxious, I yelled at my father to get me to the hospital. I thought I was having a heart attack. Turns out this was the first in a long, long series of anxiety attacks. Time passed and I kept crying and having fits, every ache and pain became magnified into a life-threatening illness. It wasn't until about January when I felt somewhat normal again. And for a time they went away and sometimes I'd cry, but nothing really to worry about.

Lately they've been intruding on my life again, I was diagnosed with gastritis recently and I don't know if the anxiety caused it or just my poor diet. Probably both. I have tendinitis in both of my shoulders from excessive computer use. I keep looking up symptoms online and seeing if they match up. And if they do I usually think I've got that illness or there might be a chance that I've got it.

And now I see myself dying almost every day. I've probably 'died' hundreds of thousands of times over the last year. My social life is in the crapper and I have way too much time to think about what's wrong with me, and I have friends, but I don't see them very often. And now this anxiety is transferring over to my driving.

I'm at my wit's end and I don't know what to do to get myself out of this place. I used to be at least normal, if not happy. Now I just see death and nothing positive about my life. If anyone out there has any suggestions I'll gladly take them because I'm just about out of solutions for myself. Thank you for reading.

Hi. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. I too have had everyone of the symptoms and issues you have mentioned. My first and most critical suggestion to you is to STOP looking stuff up, also avoid the news, the newspaper and any articles in magazines that are related to health issues. If you do not stop doing these things you WILL drive yourself crazy. TRUST ME!!!!If you could only see my medical charts and bill that I have racked up running into the doctor's office every week and having test after test done to make sure I didn't have this or that. It was out of control, it was all I talked about and everything was a CONSTANT worry for me. There is hope for you, but you can't keep looking stuff up and you also have to realize that this IS ANXIETY, it has happened a hundred times before as you yourself have said...and it has gone away and you are still alive...it will go away again and you will still be alive. I still worry about strange aches and pains I have and think the worst but then I have to try and turn that negative thought into a more positive more realistic one. I wish you the best. Hope I helped at least somewhat. Feel free to message me anytime! Take care.

Hi, Fido,
Many of us had had that same feeling of
"this is it--I'm going." It is the anxiety. I could relate with much of what you were saying about the crying and constant worrying about what physical ailment you might have. I went thru the program last year at this time and all the skills I learned have helped immensely. No more attacks of panic--yes, anxiety, but it's dealt with.

I would say the thing that has helped me the most is the realization that these are just symptoms and they cannot hurt me (although until you condition yourself to use the skills ie; breathing, journaling, positive statements, then it's SCAREY). These symptoms are telling me that something is bothering me and I'm choosing to focus on how my body feels instead of dealing with the issue. For example, we had a party for my son this past weekend. At the beginning of last week I was realizing was doing my excessive Yawning thing that I used to do when I felt like I wasn't getting enough air. I mentally had to close the gate on that thought every time I felt like yawning (and I don't mean sleepy yawn). I said to myself, "You don't need to do that anymore. You have the skills to work thru this anxiety. You are anxious about the party, but it will be fine." And then I would list things I could do if I felt anxious during the party. In doing that list, I felt more in control rather than letting the anxiety control.

It worked. The pressure in my chest disappeared, the perceived need to yawn stopped and it reinforced my positive feedback. That's the key. You must reprogram yourself to think postive.

I hope this helps you as much it has me! Peace to you on this precious present day!

Thank you for the advice, both of you. I appreciate it and today I got some good news (for once). My gastritis isn't bad enough to effect my choice in foods. Just so long as nothing is too acidic or spicy I'll be fine. So, that gives me hope that I'm not too far gone.