Stress Center Peer Support

I have focal dystonia which originates in the same area of the brain as Parkinsons. Since it is more common than MS I was wondering if anyone else with tremor and muscle pain has this. I have to get 10-12 Botox deep muscle injections so that I can turn my head. People who see my tremor always ask personal questions.I am very anxious in social situations. That's weird cuz I used to do public speaking and didn't think anything about it. I have had to medically retire very early due to an MVA and suddenly my life is totally upside down. I'm looking here for someplace to start anew.

Hi focal dystonia, I don't have a temor but I do have a blood diease that is killing me. I'm not afraid of dying but I have had to go through a lot in experimental treatments to be here today. I have always have had the anxiety and depression since six. When I found out I had this diease my husband agreed that I was to retire and start doing the things I never got to do in life. For me, not working was the hardest thing in the world. I had always worked from the time I was 14, sometimes even 3 jobs in order to support my six kids (none are my husbands). I lost alot of friends because they didn't understand my deiseae and they ran from me instead of asking the hard questions. The people who ask you are just trying to understand what it is you are going through. I know how uncomfortable it is but by teling them the facts , they become less afraid of being around you and in the end become closer to you. They are the ones who really care or are wanting to care.

I am a poet and I wrote this about what I was going through but I hope it might help you.

Battling On
By Domma Leigh

As the darkness creeps through my mind,
I wait for the pain, that will confine.
The demon and the devil laugh at my plight
The coldness fills me with the fading of the light.
My soul cries out unable to bear
I scream, It is so unfair!
But in my heart I know,
I now reap what I sow.
I called this to myself
I thought I could leave the past on a shelf.

Now the piper demands to be paid
Alone I suffer without aid.
I am now locked in here
Hating the world, filled with fear.
I just want to hide from all, who refuse to see
That the cure is as bad as what is killing me.
My mind spins in swirls and through all doubt,
All the agony of life trying to burst out.
I don’t care! I won’t let it win!
I want my life back again!
So it can try with all it’s might,
But I am going to beat the odds and win this fight!