Stress Center Peer Support

Hi all-

My husband and I went out for our anniversary last night, and we were reflecting on our years together. He mentioned when we started out that I was VERY dependent on him due to anxiety, etc. And I would say that I have improved by leaps and bounds and that I don't really take on the label of "anxious" anymore. I have my moments, but I also have tools and faith in God so I feel healed and well. Well anyway to make a long story longer he said that he is feeling almost disconnected a bit now because I am not the same person (which seems normal as you age) but I also am now much more independent and confident and have a stubborn German heritage so he is feeling that I don't "need" him. Has anyone else noticed these changes in a close relationship they have? I don't want to be a jerk, but I don't want to be an appendage of his either. How do you balance that out? We have 4 sons and have been married 20 years now. I do not want to head down the path of having nothing in common and then turn into room-mates instead of spouses.

I'm not done with the program yet and I still am more dependent on my husband that I want to be, but already my husband is starting to worry about me getting over anxiety. He's scared that I won't love him as much or need him as much if I don't have anxiety, he's scared that I will leave him once I am fully independent. But I pointed out to him that he is extremely independent and does not suffer from anxiety and yet he needs me as much as I need him.

I'm sure you two have more in common that mutual dependence. What brought you together in the first place? What activities do you enjoy doing together? If you share common goals and values then you should be able to stay married happily for a lifetime.