Stress Center Peer Support

Just wondering if anyone could tell me about their struggles with alcohol, smoking (or other addictions) due to anxiety and depression. I don't think I am a full blown alcoholic, but I do drink almost daily, it seems to take some of my stress and anxiety away. I was also a smoker for 8 or 9 years and then I quit (for the most part) for over a year but have started back up again. I know that drinking and smoking aren't the answer and though it appears to make me feel better for a short time, it's probably not helping the big picture. This is a huge source of conflict between my boyfriend and me because eventhough I'm not a "drunk", he worries that my daily habits could progress to something more serious. Any thoughts or experiences?

Hi Britt,
Your post reminds me of a little story I heard yrs. ago. It was about a teacher who had one glass of wine every evening before dinner. For yrs.on yrs. She had that one glass of wine about the same time everyday. Someone she knew mentioned to her something about having that wine everyday and asked her if she ever thought she might have a drinking problem. She was so defensive in her answer! NO! I do not have a drinking problem-after all I deserve my glass of wine after work everyday. She went to church on Sunday and had never been drunk! Later on reflecting on that question started to wonder why that person asked her such a silly thing. But as time moved on she started to question herself and realized that everything she did everyday was surrounded by that one glass of wine-Then she realized other things in her life too that were "controlled" by that one glass of wine everyday. The story is old but was 1st told in an AA meeting! By that very lady! Now it is printed in AA publications and in meetings everywhere.
It's not how much you drink-or whether you consider yourself to be a drunk or not.Ask yourself if your drinking is causing problems in your life? Evidently it is causing problems in your relationship with your boyfriend. It may even be causing you problems that you don't even think about!?
Alcohol has a tendency to creep up on you and take a big bite outta you know where?! That's a fact not just my observation. You might cruise along for yrs. and yrs.and never think you are a drunk. Other people may think so but not YOU! LOL No it's no LOL matter. It can ruin your life and the bad part is it can ruin the lives of the ones who love and need you the most. Alot of people think they hold down a full time job-so hay! I can have a case of beer or just a six pack-a pint or a 1/2 gal.the most expensive or the least exp. on the wk-end! But, it is every wk-end. It can become the most center point of your life. To me- now this is my penny- alcohol serves no good purpose-none. Even the one glass of red with dinner to help your heart can eventually control your life if you are unable to have dinner w/out it.
Being in Food Service so long I was req to attend wine tastings-I didn't have to taste it although I could-but I had to learn about the diff ones in order to sell them. I was young so I enjoyed them! I tasted! I had fun! But, eventually it slithered up and bit me. But, I only had one DWI! Never had a wreck-didn't fight or fall down-but I did wake-up a few times not knowing where I was or how I got there. You are prob saying you don't even do that. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I drink everyday? When and where and why? Is my drinking causing me problems and hurting my relationships to others? Is my drinking hurting others? Do I try to hide my drinking? Do I spend $ on drinking that I shouldn't. Do I drink and drive?
See sweetie, you don't have to fall down and roll in your own excrements to be a drunk. I am sober 17 yrs + a few mos. and today! But I am still a drunk and my next one is one drink away! The last time I had to deal with it was my neice's wedding reception. There were bottles of champagne on every dining table and plenty more where they came from and a wet bar! As I watched everybody get a glass of whatever I remarked to my Dad that if I had one drink of the stuff there wouldn't be enough for me there! So, I just don't. I went to dance and the stuff was gone when I came back-I wished I hadn't said anything to Dad and let him enjoy his glass-or bottle.When I 1st started I wasn't a drunk! but I was! Eventually the drinking would become a huge source of my anxiety!
I can help you. It helps me to help others. But, you have to do the 1st step:
#1 Admit to yourself and God as you know HIM that you have a problem.
I can tell you where to start and how to finish but I can't do the 1st or the next 11 steps for you.
If you need me or my help send me a PM.

Always, Deb^J^

HI Britt: Deb great post I am not proud to admit it but lately I have noticed I smoke more (cigs and other..) and it feels as though it has become an addiction, both. Before I could just quit both like that, now I am struggling to skip a smoke break! nonetheless, I do not have any answers, I am hoping to find some myself, again with anything the power and strength comes from within.. first is addressing the situation and admitting the issue, for me its tough too b.c. my spouse is a smoker also.. I find the better I get in recovery (which is slow but going well) I feel less urge to smoke.. I think it distracts me from the stress of my mind and obsessions (even if just for a few minutes!)I feel guilty often about my health.

I dont drink b.c. I lose control of my mind (although I am relaxed) my ocd kicks in and I cant handle being drunk well. Perhaps you should have a heart to heart with your boyfriend, and dont forget tomorrow is a new day! slowly cut back each day and make an effort, you will feel better and your boyfriend will feel relieved..

This is a TOUGH one and props for having the strength to post and reach out, sorry I couldnt be more help but I can relate!

Deb,
Thank you so much for your reply. The sad truth is that you are indeed right! I wish it weren't true. This is so hard and so embarassing for me. I feel like I could just sit here and cry and cry right now. I HATE this! I'm so scared!!! I have attended AA before. I went 2 to 3 times a week for a month and didn't drink for a month. It wasn't easy but I did it. My whole goal was to stop drinking just for that "month" and the whole time I thought about when my 30 days would be up and when I could have my next glass of wine. I read the entire Blue Book and still have it sitting in my closet. AA scared me a little because I found it to be very religious. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in God, well lets just say that I pray to someone named God all the time, especially when there are troubles or I'm scared or when my boat is sinking (often it seems these days). I just was brought up in a very religious family and had some bad things that I resent happen in the church when I was younger so now I harbor resentment and I'm not quite sure what my relationship with God is at this point. Maybe that's half my problem, who knows...I would like to talk with you more about this and thank you so very much for your reply. I will PM you as soon as I get a chance. I am at work right now so I log on and off in between tasks (Don't tell my boss)LOL! Thank you again!

Don't cry Britt-unless you have to!LOL sometimes we do. I have a cousin who is on meds for Bi-polar disease-she can't cry-she just can't-and I feel sorry for her.It's our way of deleting stuff! She says I cry too much but I cry when I am happy too.
Girls I smoke too. Now that is one I haven't conquered-not to say I have the other conquered-there is no cure or conquering alcohol-the prob is always there you just don't need to wake it up.shhhhhhh! I have the Chantix in my med drawer! And if I took it right I would prob quit smoking! LOL Alcohol should be made illegal-in my opinion. The other kind of smoke doesn't cause the problems it can cause. I stopped that too. I stopped it all. But, back in the fall happened to be in some company where it was and I said-what the H-I found it to be the best pain reliever I have had for the FMS. I did not hurt that night. But, it didn't sneak up and bite me and I could take it or leave it. I try to set a good example for my son who can't WAIT-to drink a beer! Or burn one!
You have to be careful-I hate to say it about AA groups. The step says, "Admit to God as you know HIM" Now the way I know God is the way I believe in HIM. But, maybe right now you feel on the outs with organized religion and God-I have some examples for that too-LOL LOL-but I have an appointment this afternoon for a mani and a pedi-it really helps my pain-I get my hands and arms massaged and hands dipped in warm wax while I soak my lower legs and feet in churning hot water-then Mary Ann massages my feet and legs too-it helps the FMS pain.I try to go once a mo. Mary Ann helps me out on the charges-you know-Widow/Mom/Social Security/FMS/osteo/PD/anxiety/=Broke most of the time! I have to go get ready but will check on you later. Remember one thing for me Britt-God will take all you give him and throw it into the sea of forgiveness! If you want to go back to the group you started with...remember-almost all AA members have more than one white chip! Everybody has a time getting started and a time staying on. Don't feel bad-we backslide-but we admit it and go on.You will just get more hugs your 1st night or day back. but, Britt do it-find a meeting ASAP. Remember the Serenity Prayer.
Later,
Always,
Deb^J^

Dear Britt -- I lived to drink and I drank to live. It is well documented in the literature that certain types of anxiety disorders, especially social anxieties predispose to problems with alcohol. Combine that with the wrong kind of genetics and you have another problem that you don't need.

Sixteen years ago on Nov. 16, 1991 I put it down and am in AA. I haven't had a drink since. But the underlying anxities and depression remain untreated, and that is why I am considering this program.

I could have put it down sooner but two medical psychiatrists convinced me that drinking was fine. One said that I would have to drink at least 26 drinks per day to be an alcoholic and the other said that I was using alcohol to medicate myself and that he'd rather I not stop.

If you find that your life is getting unmanageable and that as many times you say you are not going to drink anymore but you do maybe you should take the problem to a qualified professional. You could be doing yourself the greatest favor. Also, you will probably get much more out of any program such as this one.

WW

Thank you for your reply and congradulations on your sobriety! Hopefully I too can overcome this battle. I hope that one day I can learn to drink responsibly, but isn't that the great pursuit of every alcoholic? Last night was my first in a long while going with out at least a couple (rather large) glases of wine before bed. I was so agitated and restless! It was hard for me to fall asleep and then I started to have a mild panic attack because I let myself get so worked up over it. My boyfriend rubbed my back for a while and I guess I finally did fall asleep. I do take Klonapin at night to help me sleep but I guess my body has gotten use to the alcohol helping me out there as well.

Oh MY Britt-I can't believe a medical Dr. would prescribe drinking alcohol for any disease! alcoholics feq. have medical issues caused by drinking the stuff-such as diabetes-not to mention severe liver damage-and more. Alcohol dehydrates your body-it can cause your body not to absorb iron and the diff vitamins and minerals you need to survive! I would say-if I a Dr. told me to drink I would slap him/her-like the V-8 commercials! In fact I am going to see my GP today-for my FMS-and I want to try the med that has been shown to help FMSers-I will ask him if I can drink alcohole w/it.? NOT!
Britt maybe one day you will become a responsible drinker-I hope you have fun trying I will pray that I am not handing you a death sentence-but I have learned-17 yrs.+ wasn't for nothing-that we can "lead a horse to water".....Hoyt Axton sang that song-so good.
I have so many physical issues and add the mental ones that I don't have much of me to give-that said-I would do the best I could to help you-if you ask me-if you don't ask-I just don't have it to give.
Hang in there worrywort! You 2 Britt.
Always,
Deb^J^
Romans chapter 8

"yesterday's gone-tomorrow never comes-today is a present"

PS Britt-no drinking responsibly isn't the great pursuit for every alcoholic. Like I said for most of us and I can speak because of experience for most of us-we know on the 1st drink there will not be enough alcohol in our fav place for us.
Peace to all'
Deb ^J^
H-I try not to get hungry
A-try not to get angry
L-try not to get lonely
T-rest when I am tired
these are all things that can make us drink-they are things we can control! HALT.

God Grant me the Serenity
to Accept the things I cannot change.
The Courage to change the things I can
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

im new here,and i can relate a bit.i to need alcohal to lower my anxiety,or now ''needed'' since im trying to stray from it.it seemed to make the weird sensations go away,the only way i can relax with friends or anywhere anytime of the day was to be tipsy or in a 'mood'.i think possibly since it brings the true person to the surface,deep down we feel good and wanna be comfortable and alcohal brings it out.but isint the awnser.thats how i see it anyway