Stress Center Peer Support

I just started Session 5 of the Program and I've been doing ok so far. That is until Valentines Day when I went out with my ex. To make a long story as short as possible now I'm a wreck. I hadn't had a panic attack in a while and I ended up having 2 on Sunday. I'm crying all the time and everything is taking an effort to do. I went running today and ate well but I still had to take a Klonopin after I got off the phone with him. What makes this so difficult is that I don't have any friends or family and he was the only person in my life even after we broke up. Now i feel as if I have to remove him from my life and that scares me. I don't want to be completely alone. I know I must sound like a loser because I feel like one right now.
Sorry for the long essay.

First off, you are NOT a loser, Jesse. Relationships are the worst- especially when you're on the rollercoaster ride that it sounds like your ex is putting you through. The only reason I feel I can say this is because 8 years ago my husband put me through the same. It felt like my life turned on a dime, and all my joy or misery relied completely on him. It was sheer hell. For several years I've been terrified he'd leave me again, and it's only been in the past couple months that i genuinely feel like our relationship has stablized. I can honestly say that if we hadn't been married our relationship NEVER would have endured. Not knowing where i stood nearly broke me in half and was a direct result in my chronic anxiety.

Secondly, you should be VERY proud of yourself for getting to week five. I've had the program since the beginning of January and am still on week 3, but I feel I have improved dramatically. In hindsight, can you see the tremendous strides you've made? I'm a total pragmatist, so I love to make lists- maybe you could try this?

I know you mentioned that it doesn't feel like you have any friends. Well, guess whaat, you just found one! Are there any people from before you met your ex that you trust? When my husband and I separated, I crawled in a hole and completly cut myself off from all my friends- including my very best friend who is like a sister to me. It took nearly 5 years for us to reconnect, and I can't express how glad I am we did.

Lastly, even though you've had a setback with your meds-WHO CARES? It's not as if you've been in a drug induced stuper all weekend. It sux to feel those raw emotions, but it's healthy. And speaking of healthy, despite everything, you exercised and ate well today- KUDOS! What else can you do to comfort/treat yourself? I love massages, even if they are a bit $.

Even though you may not feel like it, I think you're doing very well. Take care of yourself and stay in touch.

Blessings,
fischee

alright, so you have "issues" about this ex. join the club!

i don't quite get if you knew you were this emotional about him before V-day, tried to ignore it, and went anyway. but these are not the first ever relationship-related panick attacks. it's not that i'm making light of the situation--it's just that i've been there-BIG time!

hey, it sounds to me like you're making good progress. (lesson 5/6--yay!)

Relationship-wise, if you need to go it alone for awhile--that's what you need. maybe you can hook up with a local org of some sort--running or book club? volunteer opportunity? adult school class?

if you have something like this on your social schedule that might help until you can build some more intimate/personal relationships. you are not a loser! :p

No you do not sound like a loser. You sound like someone upset over a break up. And who wouldn't be? I've been in that situation and as I recall I prayed a lot and cried a lot. I know how scared you are - I've been there and believe me you are more resilient than you think. Do you work? Attend a church? You may need to reach out to someone right now and if there is no one available check in here with us.

My relationship has been a rollercoaster ride. What hurts is that although he says he loves me he doesn't want to get married or even live together because I can't promise him children. We were together for almost 7 years and I never got pregnant even though we both went to doctors and were ok. That really hurts my self esteem because I had had a child when I was married before and he died and after that I had 3 miscarriages.
fischee, thanks for being my new friend
MC Grace, I have been thinking of doing some volunteer work. I'm unemployed now and been looking for work the last couple of months so i have some free time. That's also been taking a toll.
Thank you both for the feed back.

Mary I just saw your post. I try to keep busy looking for work and exercising. I am not religious so church is out of the question. I just cry and write in my journal and come here.
Thanks

i want to tell everyone here that even after 52 years of living what has made us the way we are is we put ourselves last. I still do it. Jesse pur yourslef first for today. Just ask yourslef what you really want. Stay in the moment take it one moment at atime for us anxiey people that is hard. As far as meds I just had big fall landed in the ER and everyhting from being on too many meds. I have to make me first now it will only be for a while but I have isolated myslef so much i have no friends either which is so out of chraacter for me. I have had no friends at lease that I can see for over 1 1/2 yrs now. I have 3 y/o twins at 52 and it is all I can do to take care of them with all my emotional prolems but I am here for you and anyone thatposts here sincerely gail

Jesse,
I also have someone that I have been dating that will not commit to me so I know what you are talking about. One thing that I was thinking about the other days is that "I am the only person that can make me happy" We are our own safe place right? We can not rely on any one person to dictate our happiness..I know easier said then done. Think of what makes you feel happy, write them down and do as many of them as you can. Say nice things to yourself and try compliment yourself. Like for instance the other day I was so anxious at work and when the day was over I congratulated myself. So make sure that you stay positive.

Jesse:
Try the chat rooms. You won't feel so lonely. Loneliness can kill.

Jesse:
Try get involved with the chat rooms.