Stress Center Peer Support

Im on Day 3 session 5 and Im starting to obsess. Im a very healthy person, I work out everyday, eat really well,(no caffeine, sugary stuff rarely and I mean rarely and I eat mostly vegetarian/vegan) I take vitamins and supplements every day. I just feel like session 5 isnt really for me but here I go again and start obsessing that I should be doing the program perfectly! I really dont know what else I can cut out of my diet. Also as far as writing down my negative thoughts I hadnt really had any in the past few days and I began to think " what if Im doing it wrong and slacking??" I then began the cycle of panicky thoughts that lead me to be awake at 3:27am when I have school at 8am.

Ahhh!! Im getting so frustrated! I have so many high expectations on everything like going home for xmas. My job tried to make me stay there for xmas (I live in CA but my family is in RI) after alot of threats I wiggled my way into being allowed to go. This year however we are under new management and there is probably no way I should go. So what should I quit my job, which I hate more than anything, to go home for xmas? I never even have a good time at xmas I just feel so guilty for missing it. My brothers are always super rude to me and make me feel like crap. So why do I want to go?? I feel like every kid has to be home for xmas (there are 7 of us) these are all expectations I am putting on myself. Its like I notice new ridiculous expectations every day! Its soo frustrating.
Now I think Im going to skip class tomorrow I have an A average so I dont see why Im worrying but I feel so guilty. My boyfriend ALWAYS makes me feel guilty for not going to class. Ive only skipped 1 time! I feel like I have to pretend sick to him like he is my mom.

All in all, these emotions and situations came out of me worrying Im not doing the program right. That im not using my skills perfectly or doing the relaxation tape enough or not writing enough. I spend atleast 1 to 2 hours a day on this program and and another hour exercising. Im sorry Im ranting but I dont know what else to do. I feel like Im doing something wrong, Im getting frustrated HELP!

Hey, I think the only thing you're doing wrong is over anylyzing everything, and you're shoulding on yourself. You need to relax a bit. There is no perfect way to do the program. I also ate very healthy but still listened to what session 5 had to say. Don't obsess over the sessions, that's what I did and then when I did have a "bump" I totally crashed hard. You do have way many expectations and need to let it go. Make some decisions, be assertive about it and move on. For instance, if you hate your job, quit and find something else- there are 1000's of jobs. And if you don't want to go home for x-mas, depending on how much time you have, maybe this is the perfect time for you to take a mini-vacation to pamper yourself. or if you want to go home, then when you get there and if you feel it's going the same way, be assertive with your family and brothers telling them that "this"is what you come all the way home for? Tell them what you really need from them and what you don't. I also slacked on the writing and you know what, it's okay. My brain was picking up so much from the 1st time and I've learned so much, that I've finished the program and have come so far and you will too. I am currently on sess 2 now for the second time and am picking up yet more and sticking with it a little better. It's good that you see you have too many expectations, otherwise how would you be able to do anything about them if you didn't see them? About your boyfriend, I think you need to have a heart to heart with him and really explaine how you feel and be assertive. Not mean or you know,"this is the way it is" sort of way, but really tell him how you feel and what you have to do to make yourself better.
Ease up on yourself and try to adopt the "whatever"attitude. Don't let things get to you like they used to. You're doing great and I think you'll be just fine-God Bless

Look at the title of your post. Perfect? Come on, cut it out. Striving for perfection is not what we want. That is why you are so stressed!!! What's wrong with doing the best you can or putting in a good effort? Striving for excellence rather than perfection is a better way to go, I think. We all make mistakes, sometimes we all flub. Give yourself a break.

It sounds like you are doing the program as well as I have heard anyone follow it. Session 5 wasn't much for me either. No big deal. Congratulate yourself on how well you're following the program.

Try not to overreact and overanalyze, like Staying Positive said. You are having negative thoughts now, what you wrote here is full of them. But, if you go a few days without them, that could mean you are flushing this stuff out of your system and getting better. How about just trying witout expectations? Think about it.

Carolyn Dickman of StressCenter recommended a book not too long ago. It's called, "When Perfect Isn't Good Enough". Sounds like you. Check it out at Amazon. com.

<A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/When-Perfect-Isnt ... 1572241241" TARGET=_blank>http://www.amazon.com/When-Perfect-Isnt ... 2241241</A>

Thank you guys so much! It really put me back into perspective. I am trying very hard its just I want this so badly I don't want anything I could've done to get in the way of it. that is just my perfectionism talking. I actually just ordered that book, "When perfect isn't good enough" that you suggested thank you so much! I actually got a gift certificate from my brother on xmas for barnes and noble ha ha at least something positive came out of my last xmas visit. I talked with my boyfriend and he knows how he gets he also knows that this class (statistics) is the last class I need before I transfer to a university. If I dont pass this class I cant go so I think he just doesnt want me to do something I regret. He just needs to back off and I told him that. thanks for all the advice Im gonna really give myself a break and lower my expectations. Thanks!