Stress Center Peer Support

Hello everyone. I am so scared today and cannot seem to get a handle on this issue I am facing. Yesterday I went out with my boyfriend and son and some family and had a good time. Well as I was walking around at the place we were at I felt like I was falling and my eyes were blurry and I was terrified. I tryed to ignore it and tell myself that I am okay and that I have felt this before and nothing happened. Well, last night I was laying in bed on my left side and my head on that side was throbbing. When I lifted my head up it felt full and my ear as well. I was going into a panic and I asked my boyfriend for help and he told me to go to sleep! Yeah right! So I was so scared and was rubbing my neck and trying to do anything that I could to get this fullness feeling to go away. I have it alot and think that its a tumor or something else horrible. I cannot go to the doctors because I have no insurance and owe enough Dr. bills as it is. But I am terrified of this. Then this morning I woke up suddenly because I had to get ready for work and I was FILLED with "What If" thoughts! I even had some really stupid what ifs like "What if I just can't leave and get to work like usual?" OR " What if I have something in my head that makes me go crazy?" I am so scared about this stuff and I dunno what to do! And to top it off last night my dad called me and said that he tryed to talk to me yesterday when we were out and that I was ignoring him. I would never do that intentionally because my dad is my best friend and he knows that. But then it had me questioning my personality and if it was changing because of the "thing in my head." I don't even know if there is anything in my head but I am living in fear like there is something there!!!! Anxiety is horrible! I definately didn't feel like myself this morning but I talked myself down from an anxiety attack and took my son to the babysitters and came to work as usual! That is a good thing but the thoughts are still there. Please help.

Hi E.M. Your feelings of anxiety and panic that you experienced when you were out with your son and boyfriend kept getting stronger and stronger, even if you didn't realize it. Sometimes we just don't know what sets off these feelings of extreme anxiety and panic.

You got back home stilled filled with anxiety and stress although it may not have been manifesting itself outwardly at the time. However, you did go to bed with these feelings rumbling around inwardly. And, you had a panic attack in bed which manifested itself by creating a situation with your head. And, of course, the more you rubbed your neck and the more you kept thinking about it the more it persisted.

Our anxieties tend to manifest themselves in different ways. For me, my heart races and skips, sometimes so bad that I can feel it on the back of my chair. My neighbour's late wife had anxiety so bad that when she was sleeping the heart palpitations she experienced actually shook the bed and woke him up. We each experience these things in differing ways.

I am no doctor but I could say with an almost certainty that you have nothing seriously wrong except this miserable anxiety. Your personality is not changing. When your father called, you were simply out and didn't get his call. Forget what he said, he simply was having a bad day. You know you did nothing wrong and you are a wonderful daughter and he knows that as well. Don't beat yourself up over it. Remember the quote, "noone can make you angry except yourself". Good words to live by.

Congratulate yourself, you did great today! Goodness, you didn't have a full blown panic attack, you took your son to the babysitter's, you went to work... simply amazing! And that head issue will go away. However, if you are still concerned, why not just pop into an after hours medical clinic or your local ER, I know they will give you a clear bill of health.

Take care, my friend!

Bob.