Stress Center Peer Support

Hi,
I have a fear of stores, grocery stores in particular. I can't go into them alone (well just for a few minutes). I feel dizzy and weak. It's done a number on my self esteem, makes me feel very dependent on my husband. I feel like I won't make it out alive, like I am going to die in the store and standing in line is a whole other story!

Almost 4 weeks ago I sat in a car for 3 days while traveling across the US to move (which is stressful) and i did pretty good, felt some anxiety in the middle of Wyoming when it was getting dark (felt very 'alone' in the world and 'what if' I needed medical care and being in the middle of nowhere I couldn't get it).

I'm sure others have felt the same? Any tips for getting through the grocery store? I still haven't started my new job because if I can't go in a store to get a few groceries, how in the world can I go to a job for 8 hours????

The only time I 'forgot' my anxiety was when we were at my favorite coastal town and the kids and I were playing with little crabs and looking for starfish and sea anemones and seals. It was wonderful and felt so good to 'forget' my problems for 20 mins or so.
Ocean

Wow - you should be proud of yourself that you were able to travel across the US like that.

I went through a rough spell with grocery stores earlier this year. Every time I went in I felt weak in the knees. One time I was on the verge of heaving. I just kept doing it. And....it actually worked. I'd prefer not to have to go to the grocery store but I got through that rough spell.

Just hang in there... YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Just don't give up. Take baby steps...don't expect too much from yourself. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you do it. And remember you don't have to be "perfect" - just accomplishing what you need to accomplish is good enough. I mean....don't worry about how "well" you do...just get out of there with the groceries you need. You will get better. Trust me.

Hi Shaky Susie,

Thanks for your reply! It is so frustrating because logically, I know I am fine. I know that I can be at home all day and feel just a little bit of anxiety or none at all and the second before I walk into that store, my blood pressure just shoots up. It's hard too when my kids ask me questions, "can we get this? I didn't get to pick out something last time! Please please PLEASE!" It makes it difficult to concentrate!

I should focus on my successes. You are right I should be gosh darn proud that I sat in a car (with my husband and 3 kids) for 2500 miles and didn't have a major panic attack.

I do focus on 'being perfect' too, you are right. I don't have to do it perfectly, baby steps. I think I am too impatient and I want to be 'normal' like yesterday. I get down on myself like, "Why is this still a problem? Why aren't I normal? Why is grocery shopping so traumatic?"

I'm glad to hear that you were able to get through your grocery store issues too. I will keep pressing forward.

Thanks again,
Ocean

It is so frustrating because logically, I know I am fine.

It's so easy for me to relate to that. While I can go most places, with no anxiety at all, I have my specific situations that I've avoided for years. It's always professional and always revolves around money. It's very frustrating.

Like you, I'm also a perfectionist and that has been one of the main reasons for many of my struggles in life. Knowing that, and being able to do something about it, are two different things. But we need to give ourselves credit for even being aware of these things that are standing in our way of growing.

Mike